


Road to Hell

by PhoenyxNova



Series: Road To Hell [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-03-20 08:54:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 48,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18989386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenyxNova/pseuds/PhoenyxNova
Summary: With the disappearance of her mother, Roxanne Lauffer must battle her way through the supernatural to uncover a heartbreaking plot that will change her life forever. She must recruit the most unlikely friends in order to survive. Rated M for violence and eventual romance.





	1. The Road So Far

With a sudden gasp for air and a jolt upright, consciousness was thrust upon the unwilling. Bright green eyes darted around the dimly lit room in a mad attempt to identify five familiar things. A ritual she had unfortunately grown accustomed to.

The nearly tattered old book on her nightstand … An even older journal shoved haphazardly under a pile of otherwise forgotten papers … A laptop still opened to an email box … A time bleached bracelet resting on the nightstand nearer to the clock … A worn leather jacket displayed on the back of her desk chair.

With a sigh of relief and a new sense of grounding, she sank back into the sheets and took a few steadying breaths.

It was always the same dream. Always. For the past 7 years, Roxanne Lauffer dreamed the same dream. Losing someone she loved, feeling helpless, unable to scream. Sure, the faces would change. Locations rarely stayed consistent, and methods changed. She’d had nightmares for so many years, it hardly scared her anymore. It was all too normal by now. Sometimes it would circulate, and she’d dream of other things, but it was never anything new, and it was never anything pleasant.

She hated to go to sleep. She wasn’t sure why she was even surprised anymore that she always woke feeling tense. It wasn’t like her life had been apple pie and cupcakes up to this point. Why should it start getting better now? Some foolish notion of hope that maybe her luck would turn around sometime. Maybe soon. Maybe later. She wanted to keep hoping, but it grew harder with every passing day. All too frequently she was proven wrong, and yet she still managed to convince herself it wouldn’t last forever.

Lately, however, her optimism was beginning to wane.

There were happy times. She knew that much. She knew it because she had kept her journal from her childhood. The proof was right there in those pages. She used to be happy. Then, one day, for no particular reason, the happiness stopped. No matter how hard she tried to remember, or how carefully she read her own words, she couldn’t make sense of it. How fast everything could change. How out of nowhere things could take a turn for the worse. How someone she trusted could turn on her.

Nonetheless, she didn’t let it traumatize her. Well, at least she tried. She wanted to be normal. She wanted a normal life. She wanted to have friends, to fall in love, to be able to live happily.

One step at a time was all she needed. It was all she could do, really. It was all she could do not to recoil from the world and lock herself away with her books.

Especially today. Talking to her mother for the first time in three years wasn’t how she expected to spend her Saturday morning. It was a stroke of luck, at least, that her mother had enough empathy to make the seven hour drive to visit her. It was a surprise, to say the least. Roxy would have been lying if she said she expected her mother to knock on her door. But at least she wasn’t expected to go home. She wasn’t sure she could bear to set foot in her hometown again.

“How’s Jericho?” Candace didn’t even try to hide the lack of real interest she had in Roxy’s love life. It made her feel like her stomach had dropped down to her knees. It was going to be one of _those_ visits, wasn’t it?

“Mom, you know I haven’t heard from him in years. What’s this ab-“

“How’s school going?”

“Mom, you called _me_ , remember? You said you had bad news. Now, are you stalling? Or are you going to tell me why you dragged me away from school in the middle of the semester?” It was clear she was starting to get aggravated, but she couldn’t bring herself to yell at her mother.

“Have you heard from Jace?” Oh no. It must really be bad if she was stalling this much. “I tried calling him. I wanted him to be here when I told you. Both of you need to know.” Candace fiddled with the coffee she hadn’t yet touched. That was a bad sign indeed. “Do you think he’s doing alright? I heard he dropped out of college again. He won’t answer my calls.”

“Mom, he’s fine. You know how he is. He gets an idea in his head and he goes with it. I talked to him last week. He’s fine. Now please. What did you call me for?”

“I really hope he got my message. I’d love to have you two back home together for a while. Even a week. It wouldn’t kill you, would it?”

This was starting to give her a headache. What kind of horrible news was her mother going to drop on her? “Candace Anne Lauffer, do you want me to burst a blood vessel? Tell me!”

Candace gave her daughter a rare, heartbroken look. Roxy watched as her mother’s gaze dropped to the table, watching her fingers fiddle idly with her half eaten scone. Just as Roxy began to think it was her fault, Momma Lauffer finally spoke.

“It’s about your father.”

There it was. Roxy sighed and rolled her eyes. This wasn’t the first time her Candace had come running to her because of her father. She braced herself for whatever might be said next. “And?”

“He stopped drinking about three months ago.”

Well, that certainly wasn’t what she expected. Roxy’s brows shot up. She had never known her father to go an hour without a drink in hand. “And?”

“A couple of weeks ago, he went through our photo albums. He looked at all of the pictures of you and Jace. He wanted me to tell you both how sorry he was for everything he did.”

For the first time, hope and her father shared the same breath. She _did_ have distant memories of her father smiling, and had begun to write them all off as a dream. “And?”

“And he killed himself.”

Three simple words, and suddenly a flood of emotions washed over her. She sat in stunned silence for a moment, trying to let it sink in. The surprise wore off quickly. She found she didn’t feel upset. Roxy chewed the inside of her lip for a moment before giving her mother a look.

“…And?”

“Roxy, dammit, he was your father. I know he wasn’t perfect, but…”

“But what? I left home for good reason!” Given the news, Roxy was surprised she felt so little. She had long since accepted that her father didn’t want to be her father anymore, and she was doing her best to move on with her life. “What do you want from me? Do you want me to cry and sob into your shoulder, whining about how I wish I had one more day with him so I can tell him I’m sorry for running away like I did? Mom, it’s not going to happen.”

“I know what he was like! But you have to believe, he wasn’t always like that! Roxy, he was a good man. He loved you and Jace. He-“

“He had a funny fucking way of showing it!”

Candace fell silent. In the back of her head, she knew she should have known better when she came all this way with this kind of news. Maybe she thought it would give Roxy some sense of closure. That the pain was over. That she could really move on now. She didn’t know what she had expected, but it wasn’t this.

Roxy stood up and ran her fingers through her hair. Part of her wanted to apologize for snapping like she did, but there would be no good that came from it. All she could hope for was that her mother would smile again.

"Tell me exactly what happened. How did you find him?"

"I didn't find him," her mother confessed. "He had left town on business, and the authorities found his body in a cemetery in Wyoming." She didn't seem to think anything was wrong with this picture. "They chalked it up to a self inflicted gunshot wound."

With a sigh, she leaned down to hug her mother. 

“Mom, I’m sorry. You knew him in better days, but I didn’t. I can’t love a man for what he used to be. I can only know him for what he was. The man I knew was impossible to love, and I’m sorry. But I can’t forgive him for what he did just because he’s not breathing anymore.”

She breathed a small sigh of relief when she felt her mother’s arms close around her. For everything she avoided in talking to her mother, she was never gladder to have her there. In some way, there was a weird sense of closure. The healing could begin. Her grieving was already over, but she could help her mother, just like she had always done.

“I’ll tell Jace. He drops by sometimes to mooch off of me. I’ll tell him for you. Go home and do what you need to.” She pulled back a little so she could look her mother in the eye. “I promise I’ll come home soon. I’ll introduce you to Billie. We’ll make a weekend of it. Just…. Take care of yourself. Alright?”

Candace nodded and managed a smile. It wasn’t a genuine smile, and she knew her daughter would know that, but it was a smile enough.

-

Jericho Warin was one of Roxy’s only childhood friends. More importantly, he was the one she’d had a crush on all through high school. Looking back, she should have told him, but there was pain enough in her life that she just couldn’t bring herself to go through one more heartache.

Lately, she hadn’t heard from him. Like, at all. She wasn’t entirely sure why he dropped off the face of the Earth, but still she sent emails to his old accounts. She wanted to keep him up to date about her life in hopes that he might reply to her one day.

She really saw no reason not to at least _check_ to see if he emailed her back. After all, no news was good news, right?

With a sigh, she shuffled her way to her desk and opened up her laptop. Within a few keystrokes, she was scrolling through her email box, scouring desperately for any unread messages that matched Jer’s old high school email address. Of course, she found nothing, but that was hardly the worst thing that had happened to her today.

She bit her lip and awkwardly flexed her hands, struggling to decide whether or not to send him yet another email. That little voice in the back of her head told her he wasn’t replying because he was tired of hearing from her. That he would rather her remain out of his life. But it wasn’t quite enough to dissuade her from trying. The worst that could happen was she didn’t hear back from him. Again. It was a disappointment she was used to, and therefore gave her nothing left to lose.

_Hey, Jer. I hope things are going well for you. I’m really starting to miss you._

_I’ve got some good news and bad news. Bad news is, my mom told me my dad killed himself. The good news, I guess, is that I don’t have to worry about him kicking down my door anymore to-_

She stopped right there and shook her head. No, she wasn’t going to worry him. On the off chance he _was_ reading her messages, she didn’t want him to worry too much about her. She deleted the last sentence.

_The good news, I guess, is that …. Well, I guess it’s all a matter of perspective. My mom’s kind of taking it hard, but I don’t really think I feel much. Unless it just hasn’t sunk in yet that he’s dead. Kind of hard to tell. But at least that’s one less Christmas card to write, right?_

_I hope you still check this account. I don’t even want to think about how many messages I’ve sent you. I just miss you. I’d love to hear from you sometime._

There was a time that she would write a wall of text to tell him everything. The best news and the worst. Billie used to tease her about writing a novel every day to try to keep in touch with an old friend. These days, however, the teasing had stopped, and the emails got shorter. It was hard for Billie to watch Roxy lose hope, but it was admirable that she kept trying. Honestly, it was one of the last constants Roxy had to cling to. It was something to hope for, and she wasn’t about to give that up.

Roxy clicked “send” and ran her fingers through her hair. “10 years. It’s been 10 years since I’ve heard from him. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he wasn’t getting my emails.” As soon as she said it, she decided to switch gears. No, if she started getting upset about things now, it might come across as though it was because her father died. And that just simply wasn’t right. Instead of following that train of thought, she got up and flopped on her bed

With a sign, she opened up the first page of Good Omens. “It was a nice day. All the days had been nice. There had been rather more than seven of them so far, and rain hadn’t been invented yet. But clouds massing east of Eden suggested that the first thunderstorm was on its way, and it was going to be a big one.”

For once, she welcomed sleep. And for once, she had a pleasant dream.

-

Jace showed up exactly how Roxy expected him to. In his beaten up car, hungover from the previous night of binge drinking, and with that stupid shit eating grin that didn’t even need to _ask_ for money anymore. More of the same, from the last 7 years or so. To someone else, it might have been annoying to see their brother waste their life away. But to Roxy? It was a pleasant reminder that her brother was alive.

They exchanged pleasantries, she offered a couch for Jace to stay on, Jace assured her that he had a place to stay, and Roxy knew he’d be sleeping in his car.

By the time they made it to the bar for drinks, Roxy had rehearsed the news in her head at least 749 times. The more she thought about it, the less sure she was that Jace would take the news of their father’s death with anything less than grace.

But when she managed to vomit the words out, all she got in response was dumb silence.

It was difficult for Jace to process this news. On the one hand, he felt relief that their father wasn’t in the world anymore. He knew he lived in constant fear of being tracked down and “disciplined” for his lifestyle choice, and he knew Roxy lived in the same quiet fear. But on the other hand … suicide? It didn’t really add up.

There was a mutual, idle thought between brother and sister that this was all some kind of sick test. To see how they reacted. That their father wasn’t really dead. That he was just watching to see if they’d clean up their respective acts.

 “So …” It had seemed like an eternity of silence before Jace finally spoke. “Dad’s dead? Like, really dead?”

“Apparently,” Roxy said, lazily swishing the whiskey in her glass. “I mean, mom wouldn’t lie about something like that, right?”

Jace scoffed. It had always been easier for him to cope with their dysfunctional family life, because it was all he had known. He didn’t remember a time when their home wasn’t a warzone. “It wouldn’t be the first time she’s lied on dad’s behalf, Rox. You know that.”

“Yeah, but this is major.” She looked at her brother, an air of patience trying to settle itself in her eyes. “Mom might lie about his drinking or his intentions, or god knows what else, but why the hell should she lie about his death? It just doesn’t make sense.”

“Neither does knowing he killed himself.” Jace had a point, and Roxy knew it. “Seriously. The man got his jollies making our lives miserable. You can’t tell me he wouldn’t pull this kind of stunt just to fuck with us.”

“You’re right. I can’t. But you know what? I’d be kind of glad to take the chance that he’s really dead,” his sister hissed. “Jace, for fuck’s sake, why can’t you just accept that this might be a good thing?”

“Because when has _any_ news about dad _ever_ been a good thing?” He set down his glass and leaned across the table toward Roxy. “Do you remember the time he slapped you around for getting into an argument at school? And he turned around and slapped you around some more because he found out you were just trying to protect me?”

“No, I had forgotten about it entirely. Why don’t you talk about it some more?” She was falling back on sarcasm to avoid the inevitable wave of anger that always seemed to hit her when she thought about everything her father had done to her. “Do you want to bring up my trips to the hospital, too?”

“My point is, the man never did one thing in his entire life for the benefit of someone else. Hell, the mere thought of selflessness made him itch. Doesn’t it seem weird that he would commit suicide out of nowhere, in _Wyoming_? _Especially_ if it was because he regretted what he did to us, like mom said?”

“Maybe he got tired of hearing shit about you,” she snarled. “Maybe he was so tired of mom telling him that you’re homeless, unemployed, living out of your car, and constantly asking your sister for money. Maybe he got so angry he killed himself just so he wouldn’t have to hear about it!”

The rest of the evening was uncomfortably quiet – save for the suggestion they visit their father’s grave for a bit of closure – and the next morning saw the Lauffer siblings piling into the elder’s car, and they pointed their car in the direction of South Dakota. After all, Roxy promised she’d visit her mom. No time like the present.

The trip there was almost enjoyable. Despite all of the crap the two would dish out toward each other, they were still family. It was unclear why it took them making an impromptu road trip to bring out the best in each other, but if that was what it took…

Jokes were traded back and forth like they used to trade Pokémon cards when they were little. It wasn’t long before Jace rolled down the window and placed a cigarette between his lips. He pulled out the ashtray and smiled at what he saw. Roxy didn’t see him pick it up. “Rox, is this what I think it is?”

At a glance, Roxy blushed. Her little brother was holding up an old tic tac box they’d drawn on to pretend it was a CB radio. For all the talk she did of moving on from the past, she certainly romanticized a lot of her childhood. The important parts, anyway. “What? I gotta keep it around in case my brother needs me!”

Jace laughed more heartily than he had in years. Of _course_ his sister had gotten sappy. It would have been hilarious if it wasn’t so endearingly sweet. It was something he envied about her. She had borne the brunt of the pains of the past, and here she was. Clinging to the happiness instead of dwelling on the darkness. “I thought I ran over this when I was learning to drive.”

“No, that was the cat.” Roxy snickered. It shouldn’t have been funny, but it kind of was. “Mom was so panicked. I mean, after I ran over the mailbox trying to parallel park, you’d think she’d reconcile that her children were fucking idiots.”

The two smiled and laughed before they fell into another uncomfortable silence.

“Jace, I wish you could remember some of the better times.” She shifted in her seat, sparing a moment to look at him. “One of these days, remind me to let you look at my journals. I swear to god, there were happy days.”

“Rox, you really need to let it go.” The laughter was gone from his voice. He had long since accepted that his life was miserable. It almost felt like knowing her life had been better would have made it all feel worse. He just didn’t have the heart to tell her. All the years of watching her fight to defend him? He owed her that much. “Really. It’s fine. I don’t mind not knowing.”

Another silence fell, and it lasted until they hit Chicago. Neither of them wanted to be the first person to speak. Their childhood was such as sensitive subject for each of them, they didn’t want to run the risk of triggering an argument, or something worse.

That night was spent in a quiet motel on the outer edge of the west side of Chicago, and they hit the road again early the next morning. Before long, the silence was broken yet again by reminiscing and jokes. They hardly noticed when they reached their own sleepy little hometown of Hazel. In fact, it didn’t really hit Roxy until she found herself on Outset Drive.

Her car coasted to a stop, her childhood home creeping up over the top of the hill. Jace wouldn’t bring attention to it, but he noticed how she went out of her way to avoid driving past it.

She was very conscious of it. She knew she didn’t want to go anywhere near that house. She just couldn’t bring herself to darken that doorstep again, even after all these years. Instead, she offered her little brother a smile and turned toward one of their frequent stops. “How about we stop at Cheezus Crust?”

The look of pure, unadulterated joy on her brother’s face instantly wiped away any anxiety she might have had about being so close to home. A couple of turns later, they pulled into the familiar parking lot and bounced out of the car.

The second they walked through the door, they were greeted by a voice they knew all too well.

“Holy shit! Roxy?”

The redhead looked around and finally saw the source of the voice. The brightest smile stretched across her face. “DAVE!”

She ran over to her old friend and threw her arms around him, practically leaping into his arms in excitement. Of all people she thought she could expect to see, he was last on the list. “You haven’t changed a bit!” She grinned and pulled back to get a better look at him. Well, she was talking out of her ass, but she wasn’t wrong. He looked exactly the same as when she last saw him. Purple hair and all.

Dave grinned his toothiest grin and mussed up her hair. He kind of wished he could say the same about her. She didn’t look _older_ , per se, but life certainly didn’t look like it had been easy for her. “Look at you! All freckles and curls. Just like I remember you.” He shifted his bright eyes to look at Jace. Now _he_ had definitely aged a bit. That was curious. “How’s it hangin’, nerd?”

“Up yours, Violet.” Jace grinned and squeaked (much to his displeasure) in surprise when he was pulled into a bear hug. Dave laughed and picked him up off his feet and wiggled him around. “How the hell are you?”

Roxy snickered at the display before her before turning to Dave again. “How about you treat us to pizza and I’ll tell you!”

“Extorting me out of pizza again?” He laughed and set Jace down. “Alright, fine. But only because I like you.”

The siblings took a seat and chatted about how much they missed this place, reminiscing about how they’d sneak away from home to get a good pizza and hang out with Dave. Seriously, though. It was weird that he didn’t look a day older, no matter how many years had passed. However weird it was, they decided they really didn’t care. It was nice to see a friendly face in a place like this.

When Dave took his seat next to them, setting the pizza down as though it were a feast for the gods, he took his uniform hat off and twirled it around his finger. “So, tell me. What have you two been up to since you skipped town? Roxy looks good.” He looked teasingly at the younger brother. “You, not so much.”

Jace rolled his eyes. Roxy laughed. She took a bite of pizza (how thoughtful of him to remember their usual order) and leaned back. “Well, I got into Yale!” Whatever Dave was expecting, it wasn’t that. “I’m working on my Master’s degree in anthropology, I’ve already qualified for an internship at the Smithsonian, and-“

“Tell him about the cryptozoology class,” Jace teased. Roxy leaned over and smacked him upside the head, making a face at him. “What?” He looked at Dave and smirked. “She signed up for a cryptozoology class and a course in ‘The Anthropology of Magic, Witchcraft, and Religion’.”

It was Roxy’s turn to roll her eyes. “The cryptozoology class is a total joke!” She side-eyed Dave and chuckled. “It’s amazing how many people actually believe in Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster.”

Dave chuckled almost awkwardly and grinned with the side of his mouth. “I can imagine. People are crazy.”

Roxy nodded in agreement and took another bite of pizza.

“I heard about your dad.”

And then Roxy could swear she now knew what pizza felt like going up her nose. She had really hoped he wouldn’t bring that up, but here he was. And there she was, wondering if she was going to have to pull melted cheese out through her nostril. “Yeah … I heard too.” She abandoned her pizza in favor of trying to wash down whatever pepperoni debris lodged itself in her throat.

“We’re not sure if we buy it,” Jace chimed in.

Dave looked a little confused, but he knew well what their father had done. They never told him, but he could tell. He offered a consoling smile. “Look, with all due respect, your father was a grade-A douche nozzle. But he _was_ your dad. If you need to mourn-“

Roxy’s fist clenched and Jace knew his sister well enough to know what she’d do. He grabbed her fist and tried to pass it off as a comforting hand-holding. “We’re fine. Really.” He offered Dave a smile and held onto his sister for dear life. The last thing they needed was to punch the shit out of the only friend they could go to in their times of need.

Dave must have sensed what was about to happen because he stopped dead in his tracks. Well, Roxy certainly hadn’t changed _that_ much. He ran a hand through his purple hair and thought for a moment. “Alright, seriously. If you didn’t really believe he was dead, why did you come back? Both of you just disappeared as soon as you graduated high school, so why come back now?”

Jace muttered, “I think Roxy needs the closure, even if she won’t admit it.”

“I won’t admit it because I don’t need it.” She looked at her brother like he’d betrayed her. “For fuck’s sake, I did my mourning years ago. The man might have just died, but my father died when I was 7.”

“But that doesn’t mean you don’t need closure.” Their friend always seemed to know what it was they needed, even if they didn’t agree with him. “How about this. I know where they buried him.” He visited the grave to make sure the bastard was dead, too. “I’ll take you to his grave and you can not-mourn all you like there. Alright?”

Roxy bit her lip, reluctant to agree she might actually need to see her father’s grave, but nodded all the same. She was far too proud to say it out loud, but part of her really did need closure. The part of her that had feared for her safety and the safety of everyone around her needed to be put at ease.

With that, Dave boxed up their pizza so they could take it with them, they stopped by their car, and started the walk to the cemetery. Dave did his best to tell them stories of what all had happened since they left, in an effort to keep them smiling. If there was one thing he hated, it was seeing those two looking anything less than happy.

Before they knew it, Dave slowed to a stop and slid his hands into his pockets. His eyes were on a singled out gravestone. The only one with no flowers.

_Luke Lauffer – January 23, 1948 – July 17, 2006 – Loving father and husband._

Roxy stared in disbelief. He really was dead? She could feel Jace put an arm around her and instinctively leaned into his embrace. Their father was dead. She hadn’t spoken to the man in 10 years, and she was months late in visiting his grave.

Wait. Her mother waited this long to tell her about her father’s death? Why? What happened? That didn’t make sense. He killed himself. What mystery was there about that? Why the secrecy? Why wait so long?

Jace wasn’t sure what he felt. There was confusion and hurt, definitely, but an unfortunate sense of relief at the same time. Still, he felt … bad. It had been so long since he’d so much as called his dad, he kind of wished he’d had a chance to say goodbye.

Just as he was about to ask Roxy how she was feeling, she laughed.

There were many ways she could possibly cope with this, but laughter was not expected. There were tears in her eyes and a smile stretched across her face. She could hardly help herself. She threw her arms up in the air in celebration. _Ten years_ of living in fear could finally be over. She could move on. He couldn’t hurt her anymore. More importantly, she never had to worry about him hurting her brother or her mother ever again. And she could focus on the life ahead of her with Billie. For once, she could look forward to the future.

Jace and Dave watched and she practically danced on her father’s grave, both wondering if this was supposed to be normal.

Just as they were about to reconcile that perhaps this was a healthy way for Roxy to cope, she surprised them once again.

Roxy’s foot collided with the thick marble marker. Her relief gave away quickly to anger. Dammit, why couldn’t he have given them a heads up? A suicide note? A call? _Anything_ would have been nice. But no. Of course he couldn’t make life easier on them.

“You son of a bitch!” she screamed. The boys weren’t sure what to do, and she didn’t seem to care. She kicked the grave a few more times, only vaguely aware of the pain starting to radiate in her foot. “You fucking quit? Just like that? You piece of shit! If _I_ gave up like this, you’d have torn me a new one! What makes you so different? What makes you so special?”

She kicked at the dirt, as though her father would feel it six feet below. Dave and Jace exchanged glances, both reluctant to try to snap her out of her fit. This was years of anger finally working its way out of her system. They were loath to put a stop to it.

The tantrum went on. Words began to fail her, and she resorted to screaming and kicking. It wasn’t fair. Even up to the end, he had them skeptical. It was like he wanted them to live in perpetual fear of him. To the point that they’d think even his death was a test. It was right. It wasn’t _fair_. Who the hell was he to assume that kind of control over their lives?

Roxy’s emotional reserves drained quickly. She was tired. She was so tired of letting that man control her life. Even in death, he made her afraid of him. When she had no more fight in her, she let herself fall to her knees, sobbing softly.

She wasn’t in mourning for the man that had died. She was angry that he would never see how wrong he was about her. He would never know how hard she fought to prove him wrong. After twenty years of being called a failure, she had everything she needed to prove that he couldn’t control her, and now she’d never know the satisfaction of throwing it in his face.

Jace sat on the ground next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. He had no idea what to say to her. He’d never seen her like this. She had tried to be so strong for him and their mother, he had no idea what it looked like to see his sister cry.

“Rox, are you okay?”

She shook her head and steeled herself against the tears. “I’m fine,” she lied. “Let’s go home.”

Dave helped them up and pulled Roxy into another hug. He knew better than to try to convince her it was okay to cry. In all the years he’d known her, he’d only seen her cry one other time. “Take care of yourself, alright? And keep in touch. I worry about you.”

Roxy managed a smile and hugged her friend back. “I will. I promise.”

They got up to leave and Roxy hesitated for just a moment. She saw a red feather fall just in front of her father’s grave, but there didn’t seem to be any birds around. And why did it smell like rotten eggs?

It was not the day to wonder about things like that, she decided. She was distraught. She’d talk to her doctor about it at the first opportunity.

When they got back to the car, a thought dawned on her, and she called after Dave. “Hey! Have you heard from Jericho lately?”

Dave stopped, surprised to hear that name again. He looked a little sadder than Roxy might have expected, but answered the way she could have predicted. “No. Not since just after you left. He just decided to leave one day.”

Roxy’s heart sank and she thanked him. They promised they’d let each other know as soon as either of them had heard from Jer, but they really weren’t optimistic about it.

The siblings slid into the car and sat in silence almost the entire two-day drive back home.

Jace said his goodbyes, asked Roxy to keep in touch with him, and took off in his own direction.

Roxy retired to her apartment. She had never been happier to shuffle through the door. She stretched and laid herself on her own bed.

Just as she was about to fall asleep, she felt hands grab her. Something slammed against her head.

And everything went dark

 


	2. The Point of No Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy realizes that the world is full of monsters, and some of them are human.

Roxy had never considered herself special. She wasn’t smarter, faster, or stronger than anyone else. She wasn’t born into a rich family or a wealthy neighborhood. Her hometown had less than 100 people in it. Her family had no known qualifiers. In fact, everything was rather extraordinary in their innate ordinariness. In this respect, she was right. She wasn’t special. But she was brave. Braver than most.

She wasn’t always that way, though. She remembered the day like it was yesterday.

She used to be happy. She had a few happy memories of her childhood. Not many, but a few. The most powerful of which, being the last time her parents took her to the state fair. Jace was no more than an infant, and her parents still had life and love in their eyes. Her father had given her a ring. Red cut glass in the shape of an ember. Nothing spectacular, but it was the world to her. Her mother helped her win a carnival game and she took a small stuffed fox home, which she has since reconciled may be gone forever.

Her father took her home, tucked her in, and sang “Sweet Child O’ Mine” to her, as he did every night.

Then, one day, for no particular reason, Luke Lauffer laid his first hand on his wife.

Roxy was too young to understand why her father would hit her mother, and she was scared. She was terrified. For weeks, she would watch in terror. Every night, the house would turn into a warzone. Yelling, broken bottles, tears, and blood. It had gotten to the unfortunate point that she would barricade herself in her room and hide with her baby brother. Every time, Jace would cry, and Roxy would sing her father’s lullaby to him.

She wasn’t sure what possessed her to do it, but one day, she was tired of seeing her mother cry. She called her own father a bully and placed herself between him and her mother. It was agonizing, watching the wheels turn in his head. It was only for a matter of seconds, but it felt like hours that Roxy, no more than 6, watched her father contemplate this new development.

The sharp pain she felt on the side of her head meant her life would never be the same. She was taken aback. Her father cared more about causing pain than he cared about keeping his family together. She was far too young to deal with that harsh reality, but dealt with it she did. If she was going to be forced to grow up before her time, so much the better. Her mother had taught her to never let bullies win, and she was certain she never would.

She never let him lay a hand on her mother or brother again. Not because she was particularly unafraid, but because she cared too much. The thought of seeing others in pain terrified her far more than her father did. The merest concept of sitting back and letting someone suffer while she could have intervened simply didn’t sit well with her, and she resolved never to let it happen.

But then, the beatings came with no provocation. Sometimes he would claim she acted up in school. Other times, she was just left to wonder. And wonder she did. She tried so hard to be good. To do her best. It was never enough. She came to realize it would never _be_ enough.

Eventually, she _had_ started to act up in school. She started fights with kids that picked on her brother. She lost all of her friends. Except Jericho, she remembered. He was the only one that really stayed by her side. She just wished she had the heart to tell him why she kept coming to school with so many bruises. Come to think of it, he often had the same practiced smile on his face.

She wasn’t sure what provoked it, but one day, she started fighting back. Perhaps it was because she was tired of being knocked around. Maybe it was because she hated seeing that worried look on Jer’s face when he saw the freshest bruise. More than likely, it was that she was done with rolling over and letting herself be used as a punching bag.

Whatever it was, she decided enough was enough. She refused to let herself get bullied by anyone. Even her own father.

Even with her new resolve, however, fear of her father’s wrath was still branded deep in her skin. She lived her whole life in perpetual fear of angering him, which only served to make her more afraid of being near anyone. It was why she moved away so immediately after high school. She had developed such a fear of abandonment, she didn’t even say goodbye. Not to Jer, not to Dave, not even to her own family. The more effectively she could disappear, the better. Then she wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore.

It was reasons like this that made her afraid to go to sleep.

Every time she’d have a nightmare, which happened more nights out of the week than she’d really ask for, she’d wake up in a cold sweat.

What woke Roxy this time was an unknown foot making contact with her ribs.

She jolted back to consciousness and looked desperately around. Not for her attackers, but for any sign of where she was. Trees. Fire. A crumbling wall. She tried to figure out where she was, until her eyes fell on a horrible sight.

There were other bodies, bloody from their own assaults.

She felt like she was on autopilot. She was so dizzy from what she could only assume was a concussion, everything seemed like a blur. She grabbed one of the assailants and tossed him away, swinging her fists at the others that threatened her life. Tunnel vision narrowed her field of sight to just those that posed a threat.

They all wore masks. Why were they all wearing masks?

Roxy could tell she was bleeding, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. The second anyone made a move to attack, she fought back. She clawed, bit, kicked, and punched.

They started to come at her in bigger numbers, but she fought even harder. Tears stung her eyes, all too aware of what could happen.

The unmasked man (she could only guess he was the ‘leader’) motioned to his lackeys. They tased her and laughed as she collapsed to the ground. The leader jammed his knee in Roxy’s back to keep her pinned and tugged her hair up. He muttered something she couldn’t quite understand, and she was left helpless to do anything but watch.

Two of the masked men held another victim down as a third kicked her in the stomach. There was a sickening crack, and Roxy knew there were a couple of broken ribs. She clawed at the dirt, trying desperately to spring to the rescue, but she couldn’t. She screamed, begging them to let her go. Begging them to take her instead.

Her pleas fell on deaf ears.

She watched in horror as the poor girl was drenched in something. It smelled like gasoline.

Everything slowed down. The poor girl’s eyes went wide when she realized what they were doing. They dragged her by her ankles toward the fire. She clawed at the ground, trying to get back to safety. Their eyes met for a moment. It was their only chance to say good bye, and they knew it really was good bye.

The flames engulfed her before she could utter her last words. Any thoughts she had were overcome by an earsplitting scream. Heat flooded her lungs and embers cauterized her airways. She was unconscious before Roxy could scream.

The redhead was in disbelief. This had to be a nightmare. This was the worst nightmare she’d ever had in her life. She was going to wake up soon, right?

They drenched her with the same gasoline. She made no move to fight. What was the point in fighting anymore? She was going to die. The other girl was dying. She wasn’t dead yet. Oh god, Billie wasn’t dead yet, but there was nothing that could be done to save her. All that could be done was to let her roast.

They dragged Roxy over to the fire and tossed her in.

There was no pain. She was left with only her thoughts. Her last thoughts, more than likely. She wondered why. Why this was happening to her. What she did to deserve this fate. She realized, then, that she had publicly kissed a girl. That girl that was so horribly beaten Roxy almost didn’t recognize her. She was going to ask that girl to be her girlfriend.

And now she was going to die. And for what? Because she was in love with a woman? Was that why this was happening? Because some gang of homophobes decided she had less of a right to live than they did? Who got to make that kind of call? It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair.

Billie’s screams echoed in her ears. She felt nothing. Nothing except the gentle radiation of heat. Now that was curious. Wouldn’t burning alive hurt a lot more?

Through the darkness of the smoke clouding her eyes, she could see a light. Something resembling a man reached a hand out to her. To her own amazement, she could feel herself reaching out to him, too.

The man with hair like flames smiled at her, and all at once, she blacked out.

-

There was no memory of anything. Just darkness and fire. It was a truly unsettling combination, but for days, it was all Roxy knew. It was impossible to describe. It felt like she was alive and dead all at the same time. Like her life had been snuffed out, but the embers still glowed.

And all it took was a breath of life for the embers to grow back into a roaring flame.

Roxy jolted upright and immediately regretted it. Her body felt hot. She remembered the fire. Remembered cries of agony. She should have died. She wanted to die. And yet, here she was. Still breathing, and ….

Wait. How _did_ she survive? It wasn’t possible, was it? And why the hell did she still feel like she was on fire?

“Lay back down,” a voice said. “You’ve been out for a week.”

She nearly jumped out of her skin, eyes darting around in search of the voice. There was only one other person in the room, and it was someone she didn’t know. Was he the man she saw before she blacked out?

His smile was charming enough, and his hair was indeed the color of the liveliest of flames. But he couldn’t be real. It just wasn’t possible.

“Roxy, I assure you. You’re safe. You still need to rest.”

“How do you know my name?” She inched away from him, gritting her teeth against the growing heat in her chest. It felt like she was still dying. This couldn’t be natural.

The man held his hands up so she could see them, indicating he meant no harm. “I’ve been watching you for a while.” There was a pause as he considered how his words sounded. “Alright, that sounded bad. But let me point this out: If I meant anything creepy by it, or if I meant you any harm, I’d probably have done something sinister by now. Right?”

Nothing about this man set her at ease. She stared at him, as though she expected him to grow a third head. “You’re really terrible at this.”

“I know. My wife tells me that all the time.” The man smiled a winning smile and Roxy almost felt more comfortable. Almost. “My name is Loki.”

He may as well have grown a third head. Roxy stared, bewildered. “Loki? The Norse God of Mischief?” This certainly didn’t make her feel any more alright. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” She forced herself to stand up and touched her forehead with the back of her hand. “I’m feverish. I’m hallucinating. This is all some really messed up dream, and I’m going to wake up from it in about 30 seconds when I sweat through my pjs.”

Loki raised his brow at her, unconvinced. “…You’ve dreamed this before, have you?”

“Well, not as such. But there’s no other explanation. This is a fever dream.”

He sighed and stood up. He was a shorter than he looked. She didn’t know what might have convinced Roxy he was telling the truth. But rather than trust chance, Loki took it one step further. “Roxanne Azalea Lauffer, no one is more surprised than I that you survived the flames. Few creatures alive are capable of such a feat. Indeed, I can only imagine a handful. Dragons, phoenix, a firebird, and myself. A fire giant. And then there’s you.”

He leaned in close to her, brilliant green eyes examining her every feature. He looked far more curious than he was concerned, though if legend had anything to say about it, Roxy could hardly be surprised. “I wonder…”

“Hey, that’s great and all, but do you mind wondering over there?” She gestured to a spot several feet from where she was, shying away from this confusing man in front of her.

The man laughed good-naturedly. At the very least, he could appreciate her spunk. He took a couple of steps back, as though he had honestly forgotten that personal space was a thing. When he felt she might be comfortable enough, he took a seat.

Roxy was trying to let it all process. What did he mean fire giant? She still wasn’t totally sure that a god was standing in the room telling her she was anything but human. That just wasn’t how reality worked. “Alright, so who put you up to this bullshit?” she asked. Loki didn’t answer, looking surprised and confused. “Was it Mark? He’s been complaining about how I’m not taking this class seriously.”

Loki’s eyes narrowed. “Your … class?”

“My cryptozoology class!” She realized, of course, how crazy she might sound. From either side of the argument, nothing made sense. Either ghosts and monsters and gods didn’t exist and this guy was pulling her leg, or they _did_ exist and she was far more focused on the horrors of man she’d experienced just … wait … last week?

At a second glance, though, he could gather it was slightly more than discomfort that made her push him away. She was shaking. For a moment, and he couldn’t be sure why, it was like he was looking at his own daughter shivering in fright.

Loki took a step toward her, but she winced back. “Give me some damn answers! Who are you?” Tears threatened to spill through Roxy’s eyes, but she made every attempt to make herself look stronger.

He knelt down next to her to make himself a little smaller and offered a comforting smile. The sort of fatherly smile Roxy had never known. “My name is Loki Laufeyjarson. Your books will tell you I’m a trickster, and I can’t be trusted, but there’s far more out there that you need to be worried with. I want to help.” With a flick of his wrist, a small stuffed fox appeared.

It was a plush that Roxy knew. For a moment, she thought it was a trick. She shied away from him again, but there were details about it that no one could fake. The small tear in the left ear, the barely-hanging-on hook she’d created for him when she had her pirate phase, and even the shattered plastic eye she so carefully made an eyepatch for.

Very carefully, she reached her hand out and touched it. All at once, the best memories came flooding back. She curled in on herself and hugged the toy tightly to her chest, burying her face in the worn out faux fur, breathing in the smell of wood smoke from all the secret camping trips she had taken with Jace and Jericho.

Seeing that she had more visibly calmed down, Loki gently rested a hand on her shoulder to test her comfort levels. The poor girl seemed little more than a lost child. He wasn’t sure what he had prepared himself for, but it wasn’t this.

The more she seemed to warm up to his presence (so to speak) she leaned into his touch. It was all starting to sink in. There were people that wanted her dead. And to top it all off, those pricks chose probably the one thing that couldn’t kill her, so she had to live with that kind of knowledge.

Loki couldn’t quite stand it anymore. He moved and sat next to her. She seemed to have come to terms that this was real, that he was real, and that she was safe. At least for now. If she _wasn’t_ human, it meant she wasn’t safe for very long, but he’d be damned if he was going to leave her like this. He was a great many things, but heartless was not one of them. No matter what the history books might have tried to claim.

“I know what you’re feeling,” he whispered, gently sliding an arm around her. “Believe me, no one knows better than I do, the feeling of being absolutely helpless to save someone you love.” Roxy looked up at him, eyes red with tears. “But you listen to me. You can’t let one moment of weakness define you.”

“My moment of weakness killed someone,” she pointed out. “I could have done something! I-“

“No, you couldn’t have.” He lifted her chin and looked her dead in the eye, so there could be no question of his intentions. “If you really believe that, you’re just asking for years of self-loathing. Sometimes you just have to accept that there’s nothing you could have done.” The look on her face made his heart sink. “It doesn’t mean you didn’t care, but trust me. Hating yourself won’t bring her back.”

As much as she wanted to argue, there was something about him that made her want to believe him. If he saved her, like it was starting to seem like he had, what reason had he to lie to her now? That coupled with what could possibly be described as one of the single most comforting embraces she’d ever experienced managed to convince her that he meant what he said. He could be trusted.

The comfort was broken by a single stray thought.

“What happened to Jace?” Once again, any thought she had about her own well-being was abandoned in favor of her worry for others. “He couldn’t have been far away. What if they got him too? What if they hurt him?”

“Roxy, Jace is fine. They weren’t after him. He isn’t pansexual.” He stopped and shut his eyes. Bad move. Very bad move. “Alright, I know. I suck at comforting people.” He sighed and looked at Roxy again. “He’s fine. I promise.”

But she was already trying to get up. Her body was still trying to get used to her newfound heat, and so she wobbled quite a bit as she tried to locate her keys and her phone. She completely ignored Loki’s protestations, choosing instead to call her brother. The longer she had to listen to his phone ring, the more annoyed she got. He never answered when it was important. Goddammit, Jace. Pick up your fucking phone!

When the phone went to voicemail, she growled angrily. The growl quickly turned into a squeak of surprise when a small flame appeared out of nowhere and vanished just as quickly.

Loki chuckled. Roxy looked back at him and showed him the glory of her middle finger as she tried to call her brother again. Again, he didn’t answer, and again a flame roared to life and disappeared just as quickly. Muttering her hopes that the third time was the charm, she tried again with no answer. She growled, becoming less and less aware of the sparks that flared up with each burst of anger.

She stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her, but it didn’t stop Loki from following her. _Any_ fire being had a wicked temper, and from what he had observed, Roxy was no different. Which is why it was troubling that she fully intended to put herself behind the wheel of heavy machinery. When she showed no signs of slowing down, he physically placed himself between her and her car.

“Move.” Her over inflated sense of protectiveness for her brother overwhelmed any intimidation factor she might otherwise have felt in looking at a man with eyes like shimmering gold. Truthfully, she had no idea how tall Loki was, but she knew he was tall enough to make her feel like a child.

“Make me,” he said plainly, like a dare. She couldn’t if she tried, and she knew it. But all the same, she tried to push past him. He held her back and took her keys, holding them high above her head. He idly thanked his lucky stars that she hadn’t yet grasped control of her own magic, or he might not be so smug right now. “Roxy, listen to me. Your brother _is_ safe. I mean, really. If I was going to save you, why would I leave him in danger? I promise he’s okay.”

“But he’s not answering his phone!” She was clearly frantic now, and completely oblivious to the amount of heat she was radiating. “It’s not like him! If he was okay, he’d-“ She was interrupted by the sound of her phone. The two fire beings stared each other down. Loki, as though he expected her to own up to her overreaction, and Roxy, far too stubborn to admit that maybe she was wrong.

Finally, she looked at her phone. It really _was_ Jace calling her. She breathed a sigh of relief, but she didn’t really feel better. Her life was still getting turned upside down. But at least now she could look more confidently into the god’s eye. “Listen. I’m not going to pretend I know you, but my brother might have just narrowly avoided hell. Now you’re telling me that there are monsters out there, and that I’m one of them?” She gripped her phone tightly in her hand. “I’m going to have to ask you to move. Now.”

With a heavy sigh, Loki stepped to the side and let her pass. She answered her phone and shuffled toward her car. “Jace? Yeah, we’ve gotta talk about this whole not answering your phone crap. I was seriously worried!” She was far too proud to admit she was still feeling incredibly weak from the ordeal she’d just been through, and now that she had reason to worry about her little brother, chance that she’d admit it dropped to exactly zero. “No, don’t you mind why I was worried. I’m the big sister. It’s in my contract.”

Loki watched as she fumbled with her keys and sighed. She really did remind him of himself. Whether that was a good thing or not remained to be seen, and he wanted to stick around long enough to make that kind of assessment. It was just a matter of wondering if Roxy would _let_ him stick around.

Just as he was about to ask if everything was alright, Roxy dropped her keys. She had a look of complete shock and terror on her face. Whatever was being said on the other line, it totally overrode her knee jerk response of immediately lashing out. She was scared _and_ in disbelief. So much so, she hung up the phone without saying a word. From what he knew about her, that was major. It was one of her more endearing qualities – that she had to get the last word.

“What happened?” he asked, more concern in his tone than even he expected.

Roxy just stared at her phone. She made no move to pick up her keys. She was still trying to process what she’d been told. Now she knew why it was so hard for her mother to come right out and tell someone the bad news.

“Roxy?”

She looked up at him, after what felt like hours of baffled silence. After finally being able to wrap her head around it, she said, “Mom’s in trouble.”

 

-

Loki wouldn’t let Roxy drive. The news devastated her, to the point that she nearly broke down into tears. Instead, however, Loki drove. A nerve wrecking experience, to be sure. He had never driven before in his life, and promised never to again after all of the damages he nearly caused.

They reached their destination, and Roxy managed to escape with only a minimal amount of psychological trauma. She poured out of the car and scrambled to her feet, giving only a moment’s hesitation before running off in search of her brother.

As far as she knew, there was no news about what happened. All she knew was her mother was in danger, and Jace knew something about it. Of course, she feared the worst, and assumed maybe the group that had attacked her also got to her mom. But that was crazy. Why would that ever be a thing?

By chance, Jace glanced out his window to see Roxy looking frantically around. He ran outside and froze when he got a good look at her. She was disheveled. More so than he would have expected, even after hearing terrible news like this. More than that, she looked scared.

Seeing the look on Jace’s face, Roxy realized what she must look like. She had been burned alive, unconscious for over a week, and didn’t even bother to change clothes before setting out to meet up with him.

The two stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Jace found the courage to break the silence. “So … I heard something happened with you. Was it true?”

Roxy felt a lump tighten in her throat and looked down. Apparently, she didn’t need to say anything. Jace just pulled her into a hug. She wanted to fight it, but she knew how the conversation would go. He would tell her “You’ve been there for me my entire life. Now I can be there for you.” And she couldn’t argue with that. Not in the state she was in, anyway.

Jace was surprised she didn’t fight, but he was glad. He held her close. He wanted to know what exactly happened, but he knew she wouldn’t want to talk about it. Not now, anyway. Though, that didn’t quite explain why she smelled like smoke. “What happened to you, Rox?”

She had no idea what to tell him. How could she tell him they had nearly beaten her to death and tried to set her on fire? There was no way he would believe her. Instead, she decided to lie. It made her feel dirty, lying to her brother. “I don’t remember.”

He didn’t buy it, but he didn’t want to pry. He pulled her a little tighter into his embrace, in hopes she might feel a little safer. It worked, to some extent. She relaxed in his arms and nuzzled into him. It was nice, she had to admit, to feel comforted.

The thought dawned on her that she should introduce Jace to Loki, but it looked like the fire god had disappeared for now. Was she hallucinating all of that? She was definitely going to have to put a call in to her doctor as soon as she saw mom.

“What happened with mom?” she asked, almost afraid to know. With all of the problems their mother had, now she was worried this was all just a meltdown and not a complete catastrophe.

“She says ‘they’ tried to take her,” he said, knowing exactly how Roxy would feel about it. “She called me a couple of days ago, absolutely convinced that someone was trying to kill her. I asked if she had been staying on her medication, and she yelled at me for being presumptuous.”

 With a sigh, Jace led his sister to where their mother was hiding. Candace was scared, but fine. Seeing her daughter made her feel so much better. She got up and threw her arms around Roxy, either oblivious that she looked like a hot mess, or uncaring. But she _was_ thrilled to see her daughter. “Thank god you’re here. I was so scared!”

“I know mom,” she said in the most practiced tone she could manage. “Tell me what happened.”

“Well, I was getting dinner ready. You know me, I wasn’t paying attention to anything outside of the kitchen. All of a sudden, I heard one of the doors open. I looked around, and I didn’t see anyone there, so I thought it was all in my head.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Jace muttered under his breath. Their mother hadn’t heard him, but Roxy had. She silenced him quickly with a punch to the arm.

“What happened next, momma?”

Candace glanced at her two children and looked past her own confusion to continue her story. “I went back to the kitchen to pull the chicken out of the oven and that’s when it happened. The lights went all sorts of flickery and I heard someone come into the house. I couldn’t see them, but I know they were there!” She leaned in and whispered to Roxy. “I’ve felt like I was being watched for a long time. I think someone’s after me!”

Roxy sighed and took her mother’s hands in her own. “Mom, no one’s after you.” This was, unfortunately, something she had to tell her mom more than once. “You’re okay now, aren’t you?” She smiled when her mom nodded. “Then you’re fine. If someone was after you, they probably wouldn’t have let you get away.” Wow, she was bad at comforting people too. And she was giving Loki a hard time. She sighed and shook her head. “Mom, you’re safe and you’re going to stay safe. As long as Jace and I keep an eye on you for a while.”

Jace stayed quiet, but he held his phone up and waved it at Roxy to remind her of something. She didn’t seem to understand at first, but then it clicked. She needed to call Dr. Livingston. She gently nudged her mother in her brother’s direction and slipped off to call her doctor.

The phone rang for what seemed like ages before she heard her psychiatrist’s voice.

“Miss Lauffer?” He sounded tired. Of course he was tired. It was easily 11PM where he was. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m sorry for calling you so late,” she said. “It’s just …” She stepped out of the room and made sure to walk far enough away from her family that she could let it all out. “Dr. Livingston, everything is going wrong.” She grit her teeth against her tears, positively refusing to cry a third time this month. “My dad died, and I only just found out about it. Mom was keeping it a secret and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.”

There was a sound like Dr. Livingston was getting out of bed. Now Roxy _really_ felt bad for calling him so late. Still, he seemed like he was willing to talk to her. “She might not have wanted you to feel obligated to attend his funeral. From what you’ve told me, she seems very sensitive to your history with your father.”

“But that’s the thing. I wasn’t even invited! He died six months ago!” She reached up and grabbed a handful of her hair, as she often did when she was talking about something this stressful. Her doctor would tell her it was a nervous compulsion. She couldn’t _imagine_ why. “Apparently, he woke up one morning and decided to kill himself, and he didn’t even bother to call his kids.”

Well, there it was. Livingston rubbed his hand over his face to collect his thoughts. That was, indeed, unexpected. “I see. So you’re frustrated because you didn’t get a sense of closure about the relationship you had with him?”

“What the fuck is it about you people thinking I need some kind of closure?” She wasn’t even angry anymore. It was just annoying. “I don’t need closure! The son of a bitch is dead. End of story. Can we move on now?”

“Miss Lauffer, you called _me_ , remember?” It was almost amusing, the conversations he had with her.

“That’s just the tip of the iceberg.” And that seemed to stop the laughing. “Dr. Livingston, if it was just the thing about my dad, I’d be far less hysterical. But I also just had to watch my fiancé burn to death.” She didn’t give him a chance to react. If she did, she might never have gotten it all off her chest. “I took Jace to Hazel, and when I got home, she was gone. I didn’t think anything of it, but then all of a sudden, but then I woke up and it was dark, and there was a fire, and ….” She took a deep breath. She wasn’t going to cry. She refused. “I watched them beat her. It looked like they had beaten her for a long time, and they beat _me_. And I know it was because we were in love, and they hated us for it. But Christ, they doused her in gasoline and threw her in the fire.”

She started shaking. Saying it all out loud suddenly made it all too real. Billie was gone. This was a reality she really didn’t want to face, but she had to. And the silence from the other end of the line just made everything seem worse.

“Roxy, I’m so sorry.” He wasn’t sure what else to say.

“And on top of all that, I think my mom’s having another breakdown. She thinks someone’s after her.”

“I know how frustrating that must be for you,” he said, “but be patient with her. She might have stopped taking her medication, and you must be there for her. I understand that it might be the last thing you want to deal with right now, but it will be healthiest for you both in the long run.”

“I know, but ….” She sighed. “…. I know. I’ll be there for her. I always have been.” _But dammit, why can’t she be there for me when I need her?_

Dr. Livingston seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. “She needs your help. Maybe it will be healthy for you to have this kind of distraction.”

There was a moment of silence before she finally conceded. “Maybe you’re right.” She rubbed the bridge of her nose between two fingers and sighed. “No, I know you’re right. The more I dwell on this, the worse I’m going to feel.” It sounded so stupid, when she said it out loud. But it was exactly what her doctor would have told her. “I’m sorry again for calling so late.”

“No, it’s no problem.” He yawned. “Sleeping too much is unhealthy anyway. But don’t let that stop you. You should get some sleep.”

Roxy chuckled awkwardly and said her goodbyes. As she took a step to check on her mother again, she saw Jace standing in the doorway. The color instantly drained from her face. “How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough that you don’t have to tell me what happened.” He offered a smile, though he knew it wouldn’t help her feel better. “I won’t tell mom. Promise. But you’d probably get back in here. Mom’s trying to get back to her house to check on the chicken.”

Roxy sighed and shook her head. This was going to be hell. She just knew it.

Sure enough, her mother was trying to push past them to get to the door. “I have to check on-“

“Mom, I know. But until we know whether or not someone’s really after you, we’ve gotta keep an eye on you. Alright? Just to be safe.” There was no way she really believed someone was after her mother, but this was hardly the first time she’d had to convince her mom she was safe. The only thing she could really do was play along until her mom snapped out of it.

Candace shook her head, though. She was set on trying to get back home. Through some convincing, though, she agreed to stay where she was. Jace told her he’d check on the house, and off he went to make sure everything was okay.

Which meant Roxy was left alone with her (in all probability) delusional mother. She tried – really tried – to be patient. There was nothing she wanted more than to get her mom to calm down and think rationally. Even when she was off of her medication, it was possible. So why was she so insistent that someone had tried to attack her? It didn’t make sense. There was no motive, was there?

Her phone started ringing and Roxy excused herself so she could talk to Jace. “Please tell me you’ve got good news,” she almost snarled. “Mom just keeps insisting that someone’s after her.”

“That’s the thing,” Jace said, almost reluctantly. “She might be right. Rox, the whole place is a mess. Doors are broken, windows are broken, and it smells really funky.” There were sounds like he was stepping over broken glass. “I hate to say it, but maybe mom’s just not crazy this time.”

She went pale. That wasn’t the news she wanted to hear.

Just as she turned to ask her mom if she knew what kind of damage had been done, she caught a glimpse of something moving outside.

More than that, she could smell something foul.

“Hey Jace? What does it smell like over there?”

It could just be a coincidence, but after everything she had seen over the last couple of days, coincidence seemed a little unlikely. It could be nothing, but she couldn’t help but think of her cryptozoology class. As long as it didn’t smell like-

“I don’t know … rotten eggs?” There was a brief moment of silence before, “Mom doesn’t use sulfur around the house, does she?”

She didn’t even bother hanging up. The phone fell out of her hand as she ran back to her mother, but what she saw made her stop dead in her tracks.

“Roxy, what is it?”

Her mother hadn’t seen it yet. That alone made her blood run cold. She was absolutely petrified. There was a man standing just in the shadows, but it didn’t look like any man she’d ever seen before. It was tall, with piercing orange eyes that seemed to glow in the dim light. It stared at her. Sizing her up. There was a darkness enough to it that Roxy was completely paralyzed with fear.

Then it shifted.

The man became a lion, far larger than what should have been normal, with the same luminescent eyes. It pounced on Roxy’s mother. Candace let out a scream as the lion sank its teeth into her shoulder and pulled her to the ground.

Roxy lurched forward and tried desperately to grab at her mother’s hands. The lion growled and swatted at her with its paw. Still, she tried to pull her mom to safety, even though she knew she couldn’t do it alone.

As though it was an answer to her prayers, the door burst open. She didn’t – not even for a second – questioned how Dave knew where she was or how he knew she was in trouble. All that mattered to her was trying to save her mother. She lost her father and lost her fiancé. She couldn’t lose her mother, too. She just couldn’t.

But he didn’t move to fight the lion off. He was pulling Roxy away from the struggle.

“NO!” she screamed. “Let me go!” She kicked and flailed, trying to get away from him and back toward her mother. But it was too late. The lion had dragged her off, into the shadows, and she was gone. There was no trace of her, except her abandoned cane and a trail of blood that ended barely inches from the wall.

No. No, this wasn’t happening. She turned on Dave and shoved him away. “What the fuck! Why couldn’t you help her?” She put her hands on his chest to shove him away again, but this time she noticed he was bleeding. “Dave, what’s going on?”

He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the room. “There’s no time to explain. All you need to know is you’re not safe.”

She pulled her arm free and made him stop. Her car was in sight, and she could see Jace’s car peeling around the corner. “Tell me what the fuck is happening or I swear to god I’ll rip your tongue off and lick your ass with it!”

Dave was taken aback, if for no other reason than he’d never seen her act like this. But, with a sigh, he stopped. “There are demons after you, alright? They’ve been lurking for a long time. I wasn’t sure why, or if they were going to attack, but apparently whatever they were waiting for has taken too long. I didn’t know they’d go after your mom, or I would have been around to stop it from happening. Okay? Can we go now?” He grabbed her again and pulled her toward her car. It was only just dawning on her that there were no more cars. However he got here, it wasn’t by automatic vehicle.

_Demons were real, and they wanted to kill her. Okay. This was something she could live with._ Maybe it was a good, preemptive move to sign up for that cryptozoology class. Boy, would she have a final paper for them.

Jace pulled up and bounced out of the driver’s seat. “What happened? Is mom safe?”

“It took her,” Dave said. “A demon. I don’t know why, but it went straight for her.” He looked at Roxy. “To be honest, I think it was trying to get to _you_. Now, please, you two need to get out of here before more show up.”

“Before _more_ show up? Dave, start making sense right now! Why would demons be after us?”

“After _you_ , Roxy! After _you_!”

“WHY WOULD DEMONS BE AFTER ME?”

Dave’s eyes turned white. Stark white. It stopped Roxy dead in her tracks. “There. Is. No. Time. Get out of here. Both of you. Get to somewhere safe. I’ll do what I can to help, but I need to stay here to make sure they can’t follow you. Now, would you kindly _GET OUT OF HERE._ ”

A dark energy radiated off of him, and sent both Jace and Roxy running to their cars. Roxy shouted to Jace that they needed to split up, and they went their separate ways. They took separate detours, but met up again at the safe house in Kansas they’d set up to get away from everything.

Roxy had joked before, about life being hell.

She had no idea what she was in for.


	3. Hell in a Handbasket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three full years later, and Roxy is still trying to adjust to the life of a hunter.

_Just until I find mom,_ _she told herself._ _I'm not in the life to stay. I just want to find my mom and kill the bastard that took her._ _Deep down she knew she would never be able to go back to her old life, but she had to cling to the hope that she wouldn't die on the road somewhere._

_Three full years later, she was still telling herself this, even as she warmed up another can of baked beans in the storage locker she'd made her base. She told herself this every night as she cleaned her guns and sharpened her knives. She told herself this every night as she laid her head down to sleep. She'd pray to Loki, though he had practically stopped showing up altogether. She did kind of hope he’d make himself known again. Despite his incessant optimism, she found she missed him. She never found any sign of her mother, and the demon's trail went cold. The demonic omens never yielded any connection to her mother's disappearance._

_This hell would never end, would it? Three years with no new leads, and Jace was certainly no help. The emails to Jericho stopped. She had truly lost hope that her life could ever be close to what it was. All she had to show for it all was an estimated tattoo per month since she started hunting, which had grown rather expensive, but nonetheless brought a significant amount of color to her otherwise monotonous life. All she left was Jace, and even that was starting to prove to mean very little._

_Like clockwork, his face appeared on Roxy’s phone. Pleasantries were a thing of the past anymore. She picked up and held the phone to her ear with her shoulder, eating her third bowl of ramen noodles today. “And where the hell are you?” she asked, impatiently._

_“Hello to you too.” He sighed and shook his head. “You’ll be happy to know that between me and the Rawhead, I won.”_

_“I could have guessed that. You_ _are_ _on the phone with me.”_

_“That I am.” He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head again. He shook his head a lot when he talked to his sister these days. He understood why, of course. Their hunting life was exhausting and the stress of trying to find their mother was weighing heavily on Roxy. She was dealing with a lot more than she was telling him, but every time he asked, she changed the subject. “You used to be happy to talk to me. You know that, right?”_

_That stopped Roxy, mid-bite. She set down her fork and frowned. He was right. She knew he was right. “I know. I’m sorry.” She really was, too. “Look. I’m working a job in Bozeman, Montana in a couple of days. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s not causing enough damage to be too worried about. I can take them on my own, but how about we meet up there in a few days. I’ll buy you a drink. We’ll catch up. Feels like weeks since we’ve just sat down and talked.”_

_“That’s because it’s been three months,” he said, a little too matter-of-factly. “Alright. I’m going to restock on a few things, and I’ll meet you there. See ya.” He hung up without another word._

_“You should give him a break.”_

_Roxy nearly jumped out of her skin. Of_ _course_ _this would be the day Loki decided to show up out of the blue. She made sure she didn’t spill her ramen and looked up at him. “Where the hell have you been?” she asked._

_“It’s good to see you, too.” Loki took a seat and leaned back, smirking his usual smirk. “He’s your brother. You can talk to me like that. Most of the time, I deserve it. But he’s every bit as stressed out as you are. He’s missing his mother, too.”_

_She wanted to argue. She was just in the mood to argue. But once again, she was in the wrong and she knew it. With another heavy sigh, she buried her face in her hands. “I don’t even know if she’s still alive, Loki. I have no idea if I’m even fighting productively. What if I get to the end of the road and I just find that I’ve lost her entirely?”_

_“Well, let’s be honest. If she was taken so something could get to you, she’s probably still alive. Leverage, you know. That’s how I’d do it.” He smiled, but the look he got wiped it from his face. “I’m still working on the comforting thing, okay? Trust me, if Sigyn heard that, she’d probably slap me.”_

_Desperate for a change in the conversation, she took another bite of her noodles and looked at him. “How_ _is_ the family? The boys alright?”

“Narfi’s still adjusting to living in Midgard, but Vali’s starting to make himself useful. But everyone’s worried about you, too.” He leaned toward her. “I’d love to give them some good news, just once.”

“I wish I had good news to give them,” she replied, not taking her eyes off of the food in front of her. “I’m living in my car, running credit card scams to stay afloat, and I don’t think I’ve eaten anything but ramen and baked beans for a week. I don’t remember what it’s like not to sleep in motels, I clean my guns more often than I clean my hair, and I still can’t get used to the idea that I’m pretty much a glorified serial killer. And on top of all that, I still can’t figure out what I am, and I can’t tell my brother I’m not human. So, please, if there’s any good news in there, I’d love to hear it.”

Loki frowned. It felt unnatural for him to frown, but he remembered when she used to be optimistic. He’d known hunters to lose faith, but he never thought he’d watch it happen. “Well, let’s look at it this way. You’re surviving. Sure it’s not much of a living, but you’re alive. That’s more than we can say for a lot of people. Yeah, you’re eating garbage, but you’re not starving. You’re stubborn enough to keep fighting, even if you don’t think you’re going to come out of this with any kind of satisfaction.” He tried to offer a smile, but he really wasn’t sure if she was listening.

She was, but she wasn’t convinced. When he put it that way, it almost made her feel better. But that didn’t change anything. She was still barely surviving. It was a miracle and a half she was still alive, and she really only had to her inhumanity to thank for it. “I just wish I could tell Jace what was going on. I hate lying to him.”

“Let’s figure out if you’re a fire giant or something else, first. If I know Jace, he’d be pretty thrilled to know he’s got a special sister like you to watch over him.” This smile came a little easier, and it helped that he could spy the tiniest hint of a smile on Roxy’s face. “See there? There’s another thing to be thankful for. No matter what, your brother will be there for you.”

Roxy slurped down the rest of her noodles and looked up at Loki. “So what possessed you to show up now, of all times?”

“Someone’s gotta help you try to control your magic. I know I haven’t been around, but I’ve paid enough attention to know you’re still struggling.”

Roxy managed a chuckle and nodded shamefully. “But hey, at least I don’t have to spend money on matches.” She took a swig from the flask she kept in her pocket, trying like hell to ignore the look Loki gave her.

“Drinking isn’t going to solve anything, you know. Alcohol doesn’t make problems go away.”

“Neither does milk, but at least scotch makes things interesting.” She returned Loki’s look with one of her own. “You don’t really think I could do this job sober, do you?”

“Well, one could hope,” he muttered. “I worry enough about you, Rox.”

“I know. You, Jace, and Dave. The way you three worry about me, it’s like I don’t actually need my mother back.” The joke backfired miserably on her, and she had no one to blame but herself for it. “Alright, before I say anything else that might make me feel more like shit, let’s get started. It’d be nice to end my day not covered in blood.”

Loki smiled, hoping to keep the mood light, and stood up. “Have you practiced teleporting lately?”

She groaned and shook her head. “Can’t we start with something easier?”

“No, you know it’ll help in the long run. It’ll make you a better hunter.”

“Could you not be right, just once?” Roxy whined and pouted. “Teleporting makes me tingle in places that really shouldn’t tingle.”

“I know. You’ll get used to it.” He tried not to laugh, but, well, it couldn’t be helped. “You know the drill close your eyes and think of smoke.” He watched carefully as she begrudgingly did as she was told. “Imagine the way smoke feels against your hand. Like you can almost touch it, but it slips right through your fingers. Concentrate, now. Become that sensation. Almost tangible, but holding no limitations. Cling to that feeling, and imagine where it is you want to go. Keep it simple. Keeping it in this room will make things easier. Become the smoke, Roxy.”

It took all of her energy not to stop everything and roll her eyes. The way he tried to help sounded so cheesy and stupid, it almost hurt. Instead, she turned her thoughts to her childhood. She hadn’t tried it before, but it couldn’t hurt. She tried to remember how she used to feel when she snuck out with Jace for a few days. She had always wanted to disappear. She wanted to fly far, far away.

Before she knew it, she felt that weird tingle. All at once, she felt intangible. Not unlike a snake, in the way she felt herself coil through the air. She dared to open her eyes, and she saw the proudest look on Loki’s face. More than that, it hadn’t broken her concentration.

It felt good, to be so intangible. It was freeing. She was hiding without hiding. She could go anywhere she wanted, and there was no one that could tell her not to. It was almost a shame she had to keep her new ability under wraps. For now, at least.

She materialized again, grinning excitedly at Loki. He was proud. He was proud, and it might have been the first time any fatherly kind of figure had ever given her a sense of true validation. She couldn’t stop herself from throwing her arms around him.

“What’d I tell you? I knew you could do it,” he held her close, marveling that it almost felt like he was holding his own daughter. In fact, the more he had gotten to know Roxy, the more it felt like they were truly related. It was a weird feeling, but not a wholly unwelcome one. “Now, how about we celebrate?”

Roxy looked up at him, a brow quirked. Knowing him, he would make some sarcastic comment and expect her to cook. Or something of that ilk. He was unpredictable in his predictability. “How do you mean?”

“I’m treating you to dinner. Bring your books if you want to. I know how obsessed you are with finding this demon. But you deserve a decent meal. One from a restaurant that doesn’t have a drive thru.”

Roxy looked up at him, eyes bright and thrilled. And the best part was, she wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt of using fake credit cards to pay for the meal. She wouldn’t have to scam pool halls for the money. She could just enjoy herself and have a decent night off.

Just as she was about to agree, her phone went off. She froze, and saw the disappointment on her mentor’s face. With an exasperated groan, she dropped her gaze to the floor and answered her phone.

“Yeah? No, I haven’t left yet.” She gave an apologetic look to Loki before stepping away. “Sure…. Yeah, I can be there in a day.” Within moments, she had her bags and she was headed toward the door.

Loki sighed. The poor girl was going to work herself into a coma. There was little he could do to convince her to take it easy. All he could do was be there for her when she would inevitably break down. It was sad to say, but that day might not be far off.

“Roxy?”

“Yeah?” She stopped, expecting a lecture. She rolled her eyes and looked at her mentor, prepared for the onslaught of “take it easy” and “you’re working yourself to death, in a manner of speaking of course” and “for fuck’s sake, at least smile for once.”

Instead, he sighed again and let his gaze fall to the floor. “Spend one more night here. Rest. Read your book.” He didn’t want to lecture her tonight. No good ever came from it. More than anything, she needed to relax. He tried to give no indication that he worried. His face was stone, but his eyes said _please._

Roxy was surprised, to say the least. There was a long moment of pause before she visibly slumped over in surrender. She dropped her bag and ran her hand through her red curls. “Alright.” She looked at Loki, letting herself look tired. “But … I know it sounds juvenile, but … Will you read it to me?”

He smiled, glad she was willing to listen to reason, and nodded. “Of course.”

She shuffled tiredly over to the bed and laid down. She didn’t bother with the ritual of changing into night clothes. She was far too tired for that. She just plopped down and hugged the pillow against her head. When Loki laid next to her, she rested her head on his shoulder.

He pulled her old, beaten up copy of Good Omens and thumbed to the page marked. His heart dropped a little when he recognized the small note left by her father. The words _I love you, Roxy_ , were scrawled in the familiar chicken scratch cursive, faded from repeated use as a bookmark. 

Roxy’s eyes were already closed, but he still offered a comforting smile, hugging her close. “Apart from, of course, the fact that the world was an amazing interesting place which they both wanted to enjoy for as long as possible, there were few things that the two of them agreed on, but they did see eye to eye about some of those people who, for one reason or another, were inclined to worship the Prince of Darkness. Crowley always found them embarrassing. You couldn't actually be rude to them, but you couldn't help feeling about them the same way that, say, a Vietnam veteran would feel about someone who wears combat gear to Neighborhood Watch meetings.”


	4. Bad Moon Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunting life is taxing on our heroine, and all she wants to do is curl up with a drink.

The sound of screams pierced through the air in the humid night sky. Red hair swished about like a flame as Roxy desperately looked for the source of the disturbance. She ran through the alleys, taking any shortcut she could toward where the victims might be. There was a vague idea she had of where she was going. Somewhere dark. Secluded. Out of the way. Five words crossed her mind. _I could be too late_. She tried to push the negativity out of her mind. There was no time for it. Not now. Not when there was work to be done.

Roxy had been hunting whatever it was that was abducting women in the area for a full week, and she still wasn’t sure what she was looking for. The creepy crawly didn't leave enough clues to pinpoint what it was, but the hunt had gone on too long. Any longer, and it would just head to another town. Like they had done for the last three towns. She was ashamed of herself for letting it go so far, but it had to be tonight. She brought a silver plated machete, two handguns with silver bullets, a flask of holy water, an iron baton, and a bag of salt. If she was going to need anything else, she could improvise.

She finally found the nest of vampires. _Why did it have to be vampires?_ As silently as she could, she reached behind her to unsheathe her machete. She peeked into the room most of the fangs were hiding in. This was the part that always seemed so easy in the movies. But she'd trained for this. She knew what she was doing, and she could do this.

She could see one victim, tied down and bloody. Three vamps were visible, though she knew there would be more. One of them looked like it might be the boss. He was just _watching._ It was unsettling, the smile on his face. It wasn’t much of a start, but it was a start.

She kicked down the door and took off the head of the closest vamp before running at the one leering over his next victim. Before she could get a swing in, another fang caught her off guard and held her by the neck. She let the syringe fall from her sleeve and shoved it straight into his neck before swinging at where the leader was. But he'd moved.

“Fuck.” She looked around, but he was gone. For now. With this, she turned to the victim. “Did you drink any of their blood?” she asked. The terrified blond shook her head. “Then you're alright.” Roxy cut the girl loose and let her run before searching the room. The head vampire, or what she assumed was the head vampire, was sneaky. He’d slipped out of sight while she was fussing with the others. But what boiled her blood most was finding the dead bodies of those the fangs couldn't be bothered to turn. She gripped the pentacle necklace around her neck and muttered a prayer. She was going to need a hand getting these poor people out of here.

 She pulled back the curtain to one of the sectioned off areas of the warehouse and nearly cried out with shock. The leader jumping out at her really caught her by surprise. He grabbed a hold of her neck and pinned her to the wall, grinning that obnoxious vampire grin. Roxy tried to make a witty observation, but found herself unable to breathe. For a second, though, she felt like she deserved this. She let her guard down, and that was a sure fire way to get killed.

“I'd love to have you for dinner,” the vamp remarked, “but I've got orders. You're meant to be alive.” Roxy looked confused. What orders? Did they come from the demon? Well, that made no sense. Why would a demon be giving a vampire orders? Her thoughts were cut short at the tightening grip on her throat.

She tightened her grip on her machete and kicked him off of her. He growled and flashed his fangs at her when he recovered from his stumble. She tried for another kick, but he caught her leg and twisted. She steadied herself on a nearby table and swung her other leg up to catch him in the head. Again, the vampire stumbled, but he recovered and swung a pipe into her side. She doubled over, unfortunately giving him just enough time to swing her into the wall again. He raised a fist, but the fist never connected with her face. A shocked expression over took the vamp's face shortly before his head rolled off his shoulders.

She quickly got over her relief at being alive by looking at the one that helped her. “It’s about damn time!”

“He should have quit while he was ahead!” The fire god figured his unsolicited remark might be unwelcome, but it wasn’t like she could have possibly expected any different from him.

Roxy just stared. “Really, Loki? That's the pun you wanted to go with?” She used her sleeve to wipe the splatter of blood off of her face. “An entire world of decapitation related puns, and THAT'S what you go with?”

“What?” Loki looked almost insulted. “You called me here. You know bad jokes are what I do!” He wiped the blood off of his blade and pouted. “Like you could have come up with a better one on the spot.”

“I did, but you ruined it. It's not funny anymore.” Roxy busied herself trying to pick up the body to move it into a pile. To her relief, it looked like Loki already got started with the pile.

“No. You think you're funnier than me. Go for it.”

Roxy dropped the body and picked up the guy's head. She looked at it before turning it to look at Loki. “He really lost his head back there, didn't he?” Loki didn't look impressed. “It was funnier before you built up the anticipation.” She tossed the head back onto the body's chest and continued to drag it toward the pile. Once there, she spread some salt and lighter fluid onto the pile before lighting a match and letting the corpses burst into flames. She gathered her things and walked back to the alley, where Loki was already waiting for her.

“So, what does this experience teach us?” he asked in a more than condescending way.

“Don't let your guard down,” she muttered. “I know. Just … I don't need this right now.” She turned away and started the walk back to where her car was. Loki tried to follow her, but she wasn't listening. They were almost back to her car when he finally stepped in front of her to cut her off.

“What's wrong with you tonight?” he asked, sounding more angry than concerned. He realized that, but the damage was done. Roxy was at the end of her rope.

“What's wrong with me?” she asked. “What's WRONG with me?” She opened her trunk and dumped everything she was carrying. “I'll tell you what's wrong with me! I've been hunting for three straight years! Other hunters get a break, but me? No! I've been hunting the same damn thing for three damn years, and do you know what I have to show for it? My mom is still out there, I have no leads, no friends, no help, and I'm tired. I want to be done!”

“You want to leave the life? You can't! No hunter has ever left alive, and you know that!”

“I KNOW!” She slammed the trunk shut and glared at Loki. “I know I'm here to stay, and that's fine with me. But you know what I want? I want a night off. I want to go to a bar. I want to sit in my motel room and watch cable. I want to pretend for just a few hours that I'm a human being. Is that so much to ask?” She climbed into her car and turned it on, sitting for just a moment so she could calm down.

Loki was suddenly in the passenger seat, holding his hands up. “You want a night out. Fine. Go for it. But don't let your guard down.” He looked at her. Not condescendingly, but with concern. “Please. Be safe. Don't fly off the handle and get into trouble.”

Noting the concern in her god's voice, she nodded. “I won't. I'm irritated, but I'm not stupid.” She paused, about to shift gears, and looked at Loki. “You take the night off too, okay? Obsessing about this job isn't going to do either of us any good.” Loki chuckled and disappeared, leaving Roxy to turn the radio on and head back to the motel.

She quickly washed the smell of blood and fire off of her and changed her clothes. She still carried some nicer clothes, and she was glad she did. She never thought she’d say it, but jeans and t shirts got uncomfortable after a while. Sometimes, just sometimes, it paid to be a girl. She managed to fish a nice blouse and a skirt out of her trunk, and by the time she finished getting all dolled up, she had to admit it. She looked good.

She made no special entrance into the bar. She simply made a beeline to the bar and ordered herself a drink. She was honestly tempted to scour around for some man or woman she could take back to the motel room. Before she considered it too seriously, though, someone familiar walked through the door.

She had almost completely forgotten she was going to meet up with Jace after the vampires were dealt with.

He sat himself down next to her and put on a smile. “Look at you, all dolled up!” It wasn’t hard to guess why she looked so surprised. Either she forgot she was going to meet up with him, or she had really hoped to blow off some steam. In all probability, it was a lot a bit of both.

“I don’t need your criticism or your style tips,” she muttered, drumming her fingers against the counter impatiently. She could almost hear Loki reminding her to take it easy on Jace, and so she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It was a rough day.”

He had gotten unfortunately used to her moods. She was no different from their mother, in that respect. “Sorry to hear that.” He ordered himself a drink and offered a smile. “What happened with business?” Well, at least he’d learned not to say ‘hunt’.

“Well, they were real bloodsuckers. Tried to get me in a chokehold, and there was a lot more fallout than I planned for.” Finally, the bartender decided to hand her drink over, and she almost downed it in one go. “The boss man really lost his head, too. I’ve never been happier to see everything go up in smoke.”

Her brother _really_ hated when she talked in code like that. Three years and he still wasn’t used to it. It took him a few moments, but he managed to put together what she was trying to tell him. “Sounds like everything worked out well for you, sis.” At least, he hoped that’s what she meant. “You look good, all things considered. Glad you made it out of there unscathed.”

“Nothing hurt but my pride,” she confirmed. Well, she had gotten cut something fierce, but she was a fast healer these days. “If you’re jealous, I could tell you I chipped a nail.” She managed a genuine smirk and playfully nudged her brother. “How’s business with you?”

“Oh, you know, same old same old. Haven’t heard a word from Dave, things are a bloody mess, and I’m starting to get real tired of being alone.” He looked at her, and it was the first time Roxy really felt bad for making him work on his own. “When are we going to team up again?”

She looked down at the counter and frowned. “We’ll cover better ground if we split up,” she muttered into her glass. It wasn’t a complete lie, but lying by omission was every bit as bad. “Once we’re back on the trail, we’ll team up again, alright? Soon as there’s any omens anywhere in the country.” She looked at Jace again, and almost immediately looked away. “I know, okay? I’m sorry. I hate working alone just as much as you do, but for right now it’s all we can do.”

Jace sighed and shook his head. He didn’t buy it, but there was no arguing with her. “I just wish we could find mom. I miss her.”

“I miss her, too.” When she said she wanted to catch up with her brother, she didn’t really mean like this. This, as a matter of fact, was exactly why she tended to avoid him. The conversation always leaned toward the heartbreaking. “So, you haven’t heard _anything_ from Dave? Really?”

“Not a word. Last I heard from him, he said he was trying to find some more information about the demon. He said…” He took a sip from his own drink. “It’s weird, but he seemed to suggest there was a demon that could harden the heart of humans.” He glanced over to see the bewildered look on his sister’s face. “You keep telling me dad wasn’t always the way he was. Do you think there’s a chance the demon was responsible? I mean, I hate to sound paranoid, but if someone’s been watching you for that long, there’s a chance, right?”

It was a lot to take in, but he made a good point. She’d learned a lot about monsters, but demons were another world entirely. If there were demons that could grant a summoner infinite knowledge, she could most certainly believe there was a demon that could harden the hearts of humanity. “There’s certainly a possibility,” she admitted. “I don’t want to get any hopes up, but … well, there’s no harm in hoping.”

They managed to exchange a smile, and Roxy rotated her glass between her fingers. “Hey, listen. Let’s take a day off. The two of us. We’re going to need it. The world will be fine for a day.”

Jace smiled. It almost felt like he got his sister back. It had been a long time since she let herself do anything but stew over everything. Mom, Billie, Dave’s disappearance. “Please, at least tell me you’ve been trying to keep up with emailing Jer. He was your best friend. Whether he answers or not, you need a routine.”

Roxy’s eyebrows shot up. She knew that rhetoric all too well. She had said the same thing to her mom more times than she cared to count. But, she had to admit, it was kind of nice to feel worried about. “I’ll admit, I haven’t been keeping up with emailing him at all. But I could get back in the habit.” It had been three, miserable years and she hadn’t even checked her email. “You might be right. A little routine would be nice.”

“And getting back on your meds, too.”

She smiled and nodded. “And getting back on my meds, too.”

“And calling Dr. Livingston once in a while.” Jace really was worried about his sister. She was every bit as bipolar as their mother was, and she needed to take care of herself. The last thing he needed was to get a call saying she’d done something too drastic. He’d never admit it, but he did pretty desperately need his sister in his life.

Roxy thought about this for a moment. Dr. Livingston would think she was even crazier than when they started. _Hi there, Doc! Long time no chat. I’m a murderer now. You don’t happen to believe in monsters, do you?_

“Now,” Jace said, almost gently. “Give him a call while you’re thinking about it. As a favor to me.”

Roxy stared at him for a moment, letting his words sink in. Was he really going to sit there and make sure she called her doctor? The longer they sat there, the more likely it seemed. She sighed and nodded, slipping her phone out of her purse and stepping outside for a little more privacy.

The phone rang, and she found herself hoping he wouldn’t pick up. Before she could hang up and pretend she tried, however, he answered. It was amazing how nice it was to hear his voice.

“Roxy? I hope everything is alright.” Still sounded as calm as ever. Like a parent just seconds away from scolding his young. “I was beginning to wonder if I would ever hear from you again.”

Roxy chuckled awkwardly and looked at the ground. “Yeah, some things have come up.” She bit her lip, and it was silent between them. He expected her to tell him, and she had no idea how. “First of all, I know how nuts this is going to sound. I’m still not entirely convinced I’m completely sane through all of this.”

“If you _were_ completely sane, I doubt you’d feel the need to call me for validation,” he pointed out. A little too matter-of-factly for Roxy’s taste, too.

“Fair enough. But you’ve got to promise me you’re not going to hang up and call the cops, okay?” She took his silence as an agreement to the terms and took a deep breath. “My fiancé was kidnapped by homophobic psychos and was burned alive, my mom had a complete breakdown right before she was kidnapped by a demon that looked like a lion, and now my brother and I are running across the country killing people that aren’t really people. They just look human. For the most part. I mean, you wouldn’t think a Minotaur could look human, but they’ve evolved kind of remarkably to go with the flow.”

There was an uncomfortable silence, and it went on far longer than Roxy would have liked. She didn’t particularly want to break the silence, but she checked her phone. Thirty seconds of dead air was really unnerving from a psychiatrist.

“I know you’re still there,” she said at last. “I can hear you scrutinizing me.”

Another few moments of silence before Dr. Livingston spoke up again. “Well.” It was hard to tell if he believed her or not. It was the psychiatrist way, apparently. “So, you’re trying to tell me that monsters are real?”

“I promise I’m not crazy,” she whined, though she knew she had no way of proving it. “But yeah. Basically, the myths and legends are true, and the monsters keep getting away with shit because no one believes in them.”

She explained that she was hunting on the side while she tracked the demon that took her mom. Dr. Livingston asked for clarification a couple of times, but it didn’t take long for him to understand. Roxy was grateful that he seemed to want to understand, for obvious reasons. Going to jail or a mental hospital wasn’t her idea of productive.

The conversation didn’t last much longer after the fact. The good doctor made her promise to call in once a week to let him know how she was doing. She promised and hung up.

Jace, evidently, didn’t believe she’d go through with the call, and bought his sister a drink to apologize for being so presumptuous.

The evening saw them parting more congenially than the met. There were promises not to let the hunt get to them. Roxy wasn’t sure she could keep the promises, but she was certainly going to try.

By the time she had bid farewell to Jace, the bar had gotten busier. She quietly sat at the only available stool, next to an admittedly attractive man in a nice suit. The man smiled into his glass of scotch and took a sip before looking at her. “Can I buy you a drink?” he asked. _Oh good. He's British, too,_ she thought to herself.

Roxy was tired. She wanted her drink and she wanted to put her feet up. She wasn't sure if she was in the mood to accept a drink from a stranger. She looked at him, blue eyes appraising him, as though trying to assess whether she should feel complimented or insulted at the gesture. “Sir, I appreciate the gesture, but I have had a long day. Work is murder, life is Hell, and I'm really just looking to quietly drink and take a night off.”

“So that's a yes, then?” He seemed to be poking a bit of fun at her, but also sounded genuinely interested in talking to her. “I know the look. You've had a rough day. I understand. Truly I do. I just thought perhaps you could do with a bit of kindness.”

Roxy looked a little surprised. After a moment's thought, she chuckled and nodded. “Alright. You can buy me a drink. But only if you give me your name.” She smiled, he smiled, and she extended her hand in friendly greeting. “Wednesday Addams.”

He shook her hand and quirked his eyebrow at her. “I'm no expert, but that sounds a lot like a fake name,” he said, unable to suppress the chortle bubbling up from his throat.

“I know,” she said, her tone laced with laughter. “My parents watched a lot of TV. They swore up and down they'd name my sister Morticia, if they ever had another daughter. And if you don't believe that, then would you believe my parents were named Abigail and John?” The two of them shared a laugh and the man motioned to the bartender. “Now, wait a minute! I gave you my name. What's yours?”

“Oh! Forgive me, I thought I gave it to you! Gavin.” He smiled a smile that made Roxy's heart flutter. She mused for a moment that it had been a while since she'd even thought about men, and how it was a nice change from her normal life.

The bartender came by and she ordered a scotch on the rocks, earning a quirk of an eyebrow from Gavin. “I think I was expecting you to order an expensive cocktail, or some such,” he mused.

“Oh. Well, in that case, make it the best scotch you have!” She grinned and chuckled. “I never drink mixed drinks. It ruins the alcohol.”

“An honorable choice, to be sure.” When Roxy received her drink, Gavin raised his glass. “A toast?” When she rose her glass as well, he smiled that smile again. “To walking through hell and sod all those that stand in your way.”

Roxy could appreciate that toast. “And to making new friends in the nick of time.” They touched their glasses and took a sip.

This night to herself might prove to be the best decision she ever made.


	5. People Are Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy bonds with a stranger she met in the bar, and he surprises her.

It was a nice change of pace, having someone buy her a drink. The conversation wasn't bad, either. She appreciated Loki's presence in her life, offering her guidance on her hunt and teaching her how to survive. She even appreciated Jace’s weird way of trying to cheer her up by dropping in on her every so often and annoying the life out of her. But it didn't beat this. It didn't beat normal interaction with people over a drink. Especially when the person she was drinking with was attractive and charismatic. Charismatic enough that she was wary, but she was desperate enough for a chance to unwind, she was willing to look past the hesitation.

“So, Wednesday,” he stared, setting his glass down.

“Oh, don't call me that,” she said, pretending to be annoyed. “Call me Wendy. It doesn't sound nearly as dorky.” Besides, the name she had given him sounded stupider and stupider the more she thought about it. Nice going, Roxy. Gavin chuckled and nodded.

“Alright, Wendy. Answer me this: What do you do that makes your work such hell?” He turned on his stool to better look at her, appearing genuinely interested in her answer. Another rare quality to see in some guy she just met in a bar.

“Work is murder,” she corrected jokingly. “Life is hell.”

“That's right. I always get those mixed up.” Gavin chuckled and smiled that annoyingly charming smile. “My work's the same way. Hence the incredibly strong alcoholic drink in my hand. What's your excuse?”

Bearing in mind that she was dressed nicely, the story formed itself as she spoke. A gift she'd learned from Loki. “I'm a student, actually. My dad died a while back, so I'm just getting back into school to finish my degree. I'm studying to be a photojournalist, so my first project needs to be big. I've been on the road for months collecting folklore from different areas.”

“Why folklore?” he asked. So he WAS listening to her. That was interesting, and kind of a genuinely surprising moment for Roxy.

“It's just something I've always been interested in, and in some weird way I feel like I honor my dad's memory by basing my work on it.” She shrugged. “Really, the only redeemable thing about this whole project is that I can find freelance work wherever I go. It's kind of nice. It's just enough to pay for shitty motels and gas, but that's what I get for living the life I do.”

Gavin smiled and took another sip from his glass. “Well, my respect for you has gone up considerably since you sat down,” he said, idly. As Roxy quirked her eyebrow, he set his glass down. “I'm on the road a lot, too. And most of the women I'll meet will just take the drink and walk away.”

“Oh, so you DO offer drinks to all the strange women,” she teased. “I was wondering.” She took a sip from her own glass. “So, what do you do that keeps you on the road? A talent scout? Literary agent? Gun for hire?”

With the last suggestion, Gavin blinked. He couldn't help but laugh. “Now, what makes you think that?”

Roxy smiled smugly and crossed one leg over the other. “Possibly the fact that you're dressed like a hitman for the mafia, or that you haven't taken off your overcoat. But more than likely the 1908 Luger you've got in your right breast inside pocket.”

Gavin's eyebrows raised, impressed that she knew he had a gun, let alone what kind it was. “Good eye.”

“I have a knack, and an interest in firepower. My dad taught me before he died.” She took another sip from her glass and set it on the bar. “It helps that my mom was a historian. The interest kind of cultivated itself.” She shrugged and leaned on the bar. “So. What is it that you do for a living, Gavin?”

Gavin considered his words for a moment. “I'm a consultant.” When Roxy scoffed, he chuckled. “I just got this big promotion at work, and I basically run the company while the big man's away. I'm working on a sort of revamp of the way things are done, so I like to do customers the courtesy of dealing face to face.” He toyed with his glass in between his fingers, watching the liquid swirl around. “It seems, though, that no matter what I do, I can't make anyone happy. I don't know. Maybe it's me. Even my coworkers don’t like me.” He stopped and thought a moment. “Especially my coworkers, come to think of it.”

“I don't think so,” she chipped in. She shifted in her seat, offering a reassuring smile to Gavin. “You've actually given me some of the best conversation I've had in ages.” She put her hand on his, her smile widening cheerfully. He didn’t have to know it was only because she wanted to flirt. “Most guys that offer me a drink don't listen to a word I say, and the girls are surprisingly worse. I really do appreciate that you are really listening. Thank you.”

He smiled again, and took her hand in hers. His grasp was gentle and appreciative, regardless of how rough his hands felt. It even surprised him. A moment of genuine appreciation between complete strangers, and neither of them felt like they were being conned. “No. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For the kindest words I've heard directed my way in years.” He brought her hand to his lips and placed a gentlemanly kiss to her knuckles. This time, Roxy couldn't hide the blush that crept to her cheeks. Either Gavin didn't notice or he didn't care to embarrass her further. Either way, Roxy was grateful.

The bartender announced last call, Gavin paid, and he looked at Roxy. “So, Wendy, I have to ask. Do we want to continue this conversation? Or shall we part ways?”

She glanced at the clock and thought for a moment. “I don't think I realized it was getting so late, and I left my car at the motel.” She looked at him and smiled awkwardly. “Do you mind walking me back? It's just a few blocks away, and I can give you a ride to wherever you're going.”

 _'Just met the man, know nothing about him, and you're inviting him back to the motel?'_ she heard in her head. It startled her, needless to say, for it wasn’t something that happened often. At least, not as often as she might care to admit. She shook off the voice and concentrated on Gavin's reaction.

He just smiled and nodded. “I wouldn't mind that one bit,” he said, offering her his arm. “Why don't you lead the way?”

The two of them began the uneventful walk back to the motel. Well, uneventful until they reached Roxy's car, parked in front of her room. She reached into her purse to look for her keys when she was grabbed from behind. She struggled until she felt a gun to her head. This wasn't covered in training. She was at a loss. There was a lot she was trained to do, but there was nothing in the manual about how to get away from bit-part mugger #87 when said mugger had a gun to her head.

Her mouth hung open in surprise, until she saw Gavin aiming his gun at the mugger's head. Roxy couldn't help but muse that it was an attractive Luger, though she realized this was the wrong time to be distracted by an antique like that. She couldn’t necessarily help it.

“Put the gun down, or her brains splatter across the pavement,” the man threatened. She worried for a moment that this was a vampire that escaped her earlier raid, or a demon that was sent to impede her progress, or any number of creatures that might have come to look for revenge, and that Gavin was in serious danger. She couldn't have that. She kind of liked him. There was no way of knowing he wasn’t a serial killer, but he was fun. She didn't want the only good conversation she'd had to die in a motel parking lot. It was then she realized that a monster of _any_ kind wouldn't use a gun. _Oh great. Standard idiot mugger got the drop on me. Loki will never let me hear the end of it._

But Gavin didn't look worried. His expression was surprisingly angry, yet cold. He narrowed his eyes at the man holding Roxy. “I don't think you've got the balls to do it,” he said. “You're bluffing. I can see it in your eyes. You've never killed before. The gun may be loaded, but you're not prepared to pull the trigger.” The smirk on his face suggested that he was right about the man. “Let her go, and I'll let you walk away.”

The mugger threw Roxy to the ground, and all she could hear was a gunshot. She whipped her head up to see a fresh hole in Gavin's sleeve. Shortly after, there was another gunshot. The mugger fell to the ground, dead.

Gavin, instead of worrying about himself, stepped over to Roxy to check on her. She got to her feet and stared at him for a moment. It barely registered with her that he was asking if she was alright, or that he was checking her for a concussion. The fact that she risked her life every second of every day should have made this gesture seem insignificant, but he was essentially a stranger. He could have let her die, and he didn't.

It wasn’t a common trait with the random bozos she typically met on the road.

Finally, she found her voice, and assured him she was alright. But she wanted to make sure he wasn’t too hurt. She’d had worse, but she didn’t know his life. Either this was his typical Friday night, or he’d never fired a gun in his life. More than likely, the truth lay somewhere between the two extremes.

After some convincing, she managed to talk him into joining her in the motel room so she could check on his arm. Even when they got inside, he was hesitant to take _any_ layers of clothes off. Before long, though, Roxy got through to him.

Soon enough, she was using her first aid kit to clean his wound, and he was smiling at her. “You’ve done this before, then?”

She laughed. She couldn’t help it. He was unbearably charming. “What part? Getting mugged? Dragging a stranger into my room? Using an injury to inspire clothing to be removed?”

He seemed about ready to answer, until the last suggestion caught him off guard. “So you _have_ done this before!” They shared a laugh, and he couldn’t help but smile. Just watching her was a pleasure in its own right. “Have you fixed up any bullet wounds, was what I was specifically asking.”

“Once or twice,” she admitted. “I _am_ a dirty drifter, after all. And I’m vaguely woman shaped, so I’m a natural target.”

“Vaguely woman shaped?” He chuckled. “You weren’t paying attention to the way the men in the bar were looking at you, were you?” When she looked at him with her brow furrowed, he decided to elaborate, but did so in the most nonchalant way he could muster. “Of course she didn’t. She might have been the most interesting, most beautiful woman to ever grace that bar. The men in the room suddenly realized that they didn't want to know her better. She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.”

Roxy smiled knowingly. “And here my brother teases me for reading that book. Now you’re using it as a pickup line.” It didn’t register with her that her hand was gently sliding up his thigh. Or, if it did, she did nothing to stop herself. “So, what made you want to want to get closer?”

He smiled, leaning a little closer to her. “I think I could stand the heat.” Roxy could feel his hand against her cheek, his nose brushing against her own. “I wouldn’t play with fire unless I want to get burned, and I happen to think forest fires should be stoked, from time to time.”

She could barely control her next actions. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her lips to his in a heated kiss. Her entire world was a blur right now, and she loved it. Not particularly because of any adrenaline rush, but because it was such a pleasant shift away from the norm. Well, not _the_ norm, but _her_ norm. What she loved even more was that he was kissing her back. She could feel his hands on her back, and it only made her more eager to see what might unfold.

Gavin’s rough hands pulled her a little closer, just firmly enough to claim control. That simply wouldn’t do, Roxy decided. She picked herself up and threw her leg across him, straddling his lap. His nails dragged down her back, and she tugged at his hair. It kept escalating and escalating until either of them knew which way was up.

What followed was, more or less, a lusty, ecstasy filled blur, each of them fighting for control. In the end, the two of them were laying, sweaty and exhausted, in the bed. Roxy laid with her head on Gavin's chest, tracing lazy patterns into his skin through his chest hair. He smiled and looked at her fondly. “Do this for every guy that buys you a drink?” he teased.

 “Only the ones that save my life,” she replied lazily. “It doesn't happen as often as you'd think.” She looked up at him and smiled. It was odd, but she felt remarkably comfortable in his arms. She'd had one night stands before, but this felt different somehow. It was oddly natural and familiar. Like they had known each other their entire lives. With this strangely comforting thought, she soon drifted off to sleep.


	6. Something Wicked Lurks

Through the night, Roxanne was plagued with nightmares. They were the same nightmares that had been haunting her for years. Always the same. She watched on as some faceless man beat her mother and dragged her away with gnashing teeth chomping into her shoulder, leaving only a bent cane behind. This night, however, was different. It was only for a moment, but she could have sworn that she saw her father's face in the reflection that should have been her own, watching as the demon worked. The reflection smiled before she was woken up.

She was dripping with sweat and trying desperately to catch her breath. She took notice that the bed beside her was empty. Not that she could blame Gavin for taking off. She got up and went through her morning routine of showering, brushing her teeth, and packing away her dirty clothes. Recently added to this routine was taking medication, and it was mornings like these that reminded her to do it. She heard a familiar, taunting voice and felt like her head was being stuck in a blender. She popped the pills and packed them away into her travel case.

She was halfway through dressing and about to reach for a clean outfit when she realized there was something in sight that didn't belong there. Gavin's overcoat. She could hear a key turn in the lock and, out of habit, hovered her hand near her knife as she watched the door open.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn't the sight of Gavin walking in with donuts and coffee. She blinked and tried to decide if she was dreaming. It was certainly a new experience for a one night stand to come back in the morning. She would have assumed it was because he forgot his coat, but why would he have taken the key? And why the hell would he be carrying drinks and donuts?

When Gavin noticed she was upright, he smiled. “I wasn't sure what you'd want to drink, so I got Earl Gray for myself, mocha latte, cappuccino, and something with Chai in the title.” He raised the drink carrier, surprisingly comfortable with the fact that she was still in her underthings.

“Wow. You're really there,” she accidentally said out loud. She bit her lip when she realized he could hear her and wondered exactly how he would take that. When he laughed, she relaxed. Her relaxation didn't last long when she suddenly felt a chill. She blushed darkly and quickly threw a button up shirt on to show some kind of modesty. “I wasn't expecting you to stick around,” she admitted.

“I don't believe in leaving without saying goodbye,” he said. “I wasn't sure when you'd wake up, so I brought breakfast. I thought it at least polite.” He took a seat on the bed and held the box of donuts to her. “So, what do you want to drink?”

She smiled and fiddled with the cuff of her shit. Why did he make her feel so giddy? “Chai for me,” she said, “since you had to claim the Earl Gray.” She grinned looked at herself. “Do you mind?” She gestured to her lack of clothes and he nodded understandingly. She pulled out her pair of jeans and quickly dressed herself while Gavin saw to the drinks.

“Any cream or sugar?” he asked.

“God, no. Cream is for coffee. It's absolutely horrible in tea.” She glanced over her shoulder at him. “A little milk and two sugars. Milk is in the mini fridge.” She went back to buttoning her shirt, his mildly impressed look slipping past her attention. She turned around, now much more decent, and accepted the outstretched Chai tea, biting her lip as she tried to think of just the right thing to say.

Before she got a chance to say anything, Gavin spoke up. “I do apologize, but I really must go,” he said. “I didn't want to be rude, and I thought you could do with a free breakfast.” He smiled honestly, inspiring a smile from Roxy.

“I need to be hitting the road too,” she said. “Thank you so much. For … well, everything I suppose.” She raised her cup to him, but they stood in the same place. She got the feeling there was something else Gavin wanted to say, but since he was staying quiet, she decided to speak up this time. “Listen, I don't generally do this, but-”

“Would you like to exchange numbers?” Gavin blurted out. The two stood in silence for a few seconds before Roxy chuckled. She was glad to know they were sort of on the same page. “We're both on the road. I know it's kind of crazy, but it might be nice to have someone to share a drink with now and again.”

“Hell, I owe you dinner for saving my life,” she admitted. “I think I can spare my number.” She smiled and took a sip of her tea before pulling her phone out of her purse.

They exchanged numbers before Gavin took a step toward the door. “How about this: We take a week or two to see to business. I'll be in Amarillo by then. If you're as interested in me as I am in you, meet me at the Coyote Bluff Cafe on Friday the 6th at 7. No obligation at all, of course. If you show up, we'll know. If you don't, we'll know.”

Roxy thought for a moment, musing that it was almost thoughtful of this practical stranger to offer her a chance to gracefully change her mind. She smiled and nodded. “Friday the 6th at 7. Got it.”

Gavin smiled and placed a gentle kiss to her lips. “I hope to see you there, Wednesday Addams.” He winked at her before collecting his coat and taking his leave.

Roxy stared after him, even after he was long gone, sighing almost happily. She had almost forgotten what she did for a living, until she heard a throat clear behind her. “Loki, I know what you're going to say. Just-”

“You didn’t check your phone, did you?” He tried to look irritated, and for an instant, it almost worked. He really tried to give the impression he was angry, but the smile in his eyes betrayed him. The two stared at each other until the fire giant finally broke, too excited to tell his news. “Lucy and Dave? They found something. Demonic omens.”

Roxy sighed and shook her head, giving him an incredulous look. “And? We had a heads up that the demon was going to be here, remember? It wasn’t. So, why the stupid grin?”

“Because there are also lion attacks. Right in the middle of the demonic omens.” He wasn’t completely convinced, but he was well aware what he would do if he was in that situation. He would make something – _anything_ – look like it was his signature to draw attention away long enough to distance himself from real danger. He had no reason to think that wasn’t what was happening. But he was willing to give optimism a chance. Especially after Roxy took the last disappointment so well.

“Dave wants to meet you in Grover Beach, California.” With another grin, he held up her half packed duffel. “It’s 1300 miles, you’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark…”

“And we’re wearing sunglasses.” She grinned and grabbed her bags, packing the rest of her belongings with barely a second thought and a spark of magic. “Let’s hit it.”


	7. Cannibal Buffet

Roxy opened the door to her motel, angrily tossing her duffel to the side as she threw her keys onto the table. She plopped down onto the bed, Loki close behind her to close the door.

“Didn't I tell you not to get your hopes up?” he asked in that annoying “I told you so” voice he perfected over the years. Roxy glared at him, fire practically burning in her eyes.

“How was I supposed to know the trail would go cold?” she asked.

“Because that's what your trails always do?”

Roxy jumped to her feet and clenched her fists. “I've been trying to find ONE monster for three years! Every lead I find ends up being nothing. Every trail I catch goes cold. All I'm left with is the feeling that the demon that took my mom is just fucking with me, and I'm never going to catch him!”

“Then quit!” Loki managed to remain calm, even in the face of the human's rage. “Go home. Find that British guy and do something else with your life!”

“What am I supposed to do? Just let my mom die, if she's not dead already? Go back to school? Try to pretend the last three years never happened?” Her voice continued to rise as she was growing more agitated.

“Did I say it would be easy? Did you ever think that this would go according to plan?” Loki took a step toward Roxy and, when he was sure she wouldn't cut off his hand, he placed a hand on her shoulder. “You've lost too much to quit now, but you can't get angry every time something goes wrong. You know I'm going to support anything you do, but you have to decide if this is all worth it.”

Roxy was about to open her mouth to say something, but she stopped short. She held a finger to her lips to shut Loki up before she walked around. Loki just stared at her.

“What are you-”

“Sh. Do you smell that?” While Loki stopped to think about just how ridiculous that sounded, Roxy examined the window sill. She found a yellowish powder near the lock on the window. She touched her finger to it and raised the substance to her nose. “Sulfur.”

“Oh great. Demons now.” Loki sighed and leaned against the wall. “So, does that mean you're staying with the job?”

“I don't see how I can quit now,” she said. She sat on the bed and pondered the words Loki had said to her. She really had lost too much to quit. Too many friends had found their way to an early grave, if she quit now it would feel like abandonment. She sighed and looked at Loki. “So, what? Is it weird that a demon just happened to be in the room I would check into?”

“Well, there haven't been any demonic omens in the area, so whatever it was it didn't stay long.” He snapped his fingers after a moment of thought and began to search the room. Roxy took the hint and searched around as well, checking under covers, in pillow cases, under the bed, drawers, but Loki found what the demon left. “How thoughtful of the motel. Free cable, complimentary mint, and your personal spying device.” He held up an ancient looking coin for Roxy to see. “These are basically magical bugs. Whoever put this here wanted to listen to everything.” With a snap of his fingers, the coin was gone.

Roxy stared. “So are you telling me demons are out to get me too?”

“You're a hunter. You're going to be targeted. Especially if you're after something.” The two of them checked the entire room, looking for anything else before they decided they were safe. “Maybe you'd better check things in the area again. Just to be on the safe side.”

Roxy pulled out her laptop and did a quick search. Sure enough, there was something odd in the news. “Well, there's not a lot of detail, but there have been a string of murders in the area. Not the animal attacks that Charlie was seeing, but I think it might be worth looking into.”

“Well, hot damn. Maybe a change of topic might help you.” Loki smiled and tossed Roxy her keys. She reached into her duffel to pull out a prescription bottle. Loki felt his heart drop in worry. She only took those medications when something was irreparably wrong, but he knew she wouldn't talk about it until it was too late. For now, she had other things to worry about.

Roxy took the series of three medications before pulling out a nicer outfit and putting it on. Pairing her gray skirt suit with a pair of simple black heels, she walked back to her car and drove to the police station. It kind of felt nice to be working a job that wasn't as high stress, as odd a concept as that was for her job description.

She pulled into the police station and fished out an FBI badge before heading inside. It didn't take much persuasion to get her back to the morgue. When the mortician finally came in, she offered him a smile and flashed her badge. “Hi there. Agent Knightley. I'm here about the recent string of murders.”

The mortician glanced at the badge and shrugged, setting his lunch to the side. “Murders happen all the time. What makes it FBI business?” he asked.

Roxy smiled a little bit brighter and adjusted the collar on his lab coat. “Dr. Jameson, murders don't happen HERE all the time. In fact, records show that your usual average is about twenty a year. Not ten in two weeks.”

The man returned the smile and straightened his cuffs before looking at her again. “You have a fair point. The murders have been weird, too. I think it might be some kind of serial killer.” He moved toward one of the drawers while Roxy took a second to glance over any important details of the room.

“What makes you think that? Besides the short space of time the murders have taken place in?”

One by one, Dr. Jameson opened the drawers to pull out bodies with their heads cut off. Some had heads that had been found, others didn't. That alone gave Roxy two ideas to what she was dealing with. He looked at her. “All of these people went missing before they turned up headless,” he said.

Roxy thought for a moment and put on a pair of latex gloves. “Do you mind?” With the doctor's permission, she began examining the stumps of the necks. After examining the bodies that had been shown to her, she took the gloves off and disposed of them. “Was there anything odd you found about the bodies?”

“Aside from the missing heads? Actually no. Usual signs of struggle, lining up with any murder victim. Some bruises, scrapes, all taking place before the time of death.” He shrugged. “If you ask me, we have some kind of weirdo walking around.”

Roxy nodded and thought for a moment. “Is it possible to get a list of every person still missing from this town?” she asked. “If this psycho is kidnapping people, there might still be a chance to catch him.”

“Sure. I think I can do that.”

“I think that's all I needed,” she said. She extended her hand to shake and offered another smile. “Thank you for your time.” She excused herself, collected the records she was promised and began to head back to her car.

As she passed Loki on the way out of the building, she unbuttoned her jacket. “Ghouls,” she said. “I'm almost sure of it. They're being killed left and right.” She unlocked her car and climbed inside, Loki following suit.

“What makes you so sure it's ghouls? Decapitation? It could also be vampires.” Loki tapped his pack of cigarettes against his leg before grabbing one with his teeth and lighting it with his thumb.

“Vampires don't go missing years before they're found dead. That kind of thing only happens with ghouls.” Roxy snatched one of the cigarettes and lit up, frowning. “The question is, who's killing them?”

“If it's ghouls being killed, is that really something we should concern ourselves with?” Loki asked. “I mean, sounds like someone's doing your job for you.”

“I know, but it doesn't feel right.” She thought for a moment before turning the car on to head back to the motel. “We'll look through the records and see who might be next. If someone's after ghouls, we'll be on the same trail. Maybe I can find out what's going on before he strikes again.”

They'd gone back to the hotel and researched until the sun went down. Roxy had taken the time to change back into jeans, a tank top, her leather jacket, and combat boots. She made sure her shotgun was cleaned well enough and holstered her machete, making sure to keep her dagger in her boot and a handgun holstered on her hip.

She drove to the cemetery and looked around for any grave disturbances. When she saw a flashlight dancing around from behind her, she grabbed her pistol and aimed it at the man approaching. He also had a gun aimed at her.

“You a hunter?” he asked, the light from the flashlight casting his face in shadow. Roxy tried to squint to see past the light, but she couldn't.

“That all depends. What are you doing in the cemetery past visiting hours?”

The man laughed and lowered his flashlight, stepping into the light to show his face. “Same thing as I'm assuming you're doing. You here because of the ghoul infestation?”

Roxy lowered her gun when the man in front of her did, but didn't crack a smile. “I'm just passing through, from the Vetala attacks in Pawtucket.”

“That was you? I heard about that! Nice work!” He stepped closer to Roxy and reached out to her to shake her hand. “Charlie Hutton.”

Roxy stared at him for a long while before hesitantly shaking his hand. “Roxy Lauffer.”

With her hand in his, he gripped tightly, pulled her close, and held a knife to her neck, causing her to yelp a bit with surprise. “Listen here. This is my hunt. You want to bag some ghouls, do it somewhere else. This is my job. So stay out of it, and get out of here.”

Roxy couldn't help but stare at him. Was he for real? She thought for a moment that this was a joke, but she slowly realized it wasn't. She ripped her hand from his grasp and took a quick step back. “Don't worry about it. I got all I need.” She holstered her gun and quickly left the cemetery. She walked past Loki on the way to the car, and he looked concerned.

“What the hell was that?” he asked.

“That was the psycho that's been killing the ghouls,” she said. Without another word, she drove back to the motel and huffed as she plopped back down onto the bed. In an effort to avoid getting up, she undid her belt and holsters and tossed them into the chair near the bed. What she didn't expect was a surprised noise from that direction. She slowly looked up and saw one of the faces from the missing person's file.

She leapt up and pulled the dagger from her boot, only freezing when she realized the person looked terrified.

“Please! I just want help!” she said, holding her hands up and over her face. She shakily looked at Roxy as the hunter showed her putting the knife down.

“Explain. Start with how you got in here.” Roxy, keeping an eye on the stranger, poured two glasses of water, handing one to the scared girl. “What's your name?”

The girl accepted the water and took a sip of it. “My name's Sarah. I followed you from the graveyard.” She looked sheepishly up at Roxy. “I thought that if that other hunter wanted you gone, you might be willing to help me.”

Roxy took a seat and gestured for Sarah to do the same. “What do you need help with? Are you one of the missing persons? Or...”

“A ghoul? … Yeah. I promise, though, she was dead when I found her.” Sarah sat in the chair and gulped. “My family and I... We only feed off of the dead. We never hurt anyone. I like humans. I … I could never kill anyone.”

Roxy bit her lip and touched Sarah's knee, trying to comfort her. “Does it help to know I know how you feel?” she asked. “What do you need me to do?”

Sarah looked surprised that Roxy was willing to help. “I just need to get away. I'll move to another town. I'll feed off of the dead. You won't ever have to come look for me. Just … please. That man killed my entire family. I just want to live.”

Roxy glanced to the corner of the room to see Jace again, shaking his head. She frowned at him and returned her gaze to Sarah. “I'll help you,” she said.

Sarah nearly burst into tears. It almost seemed as though she'd never been helped before. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I'll find some way to repay you. I swear!”

They weren't given the opportunity to continue the conversation. The door burst open and Charlie aimed his gun at Roxy. “What? You're giving monsters shelter now?” His eyes narrowed dangerously as he cocked his gun. “I thought you were a better hunter than that, with the stories I've heard.”

Roxy slowly stood and returned the glare. “Relax. I was just heading out of town.” She gripped her pentacle and kept her eyes on the hunter. “I said I'd stay out of your hunt. Do you see me killing any ghouls here?”

“No. I just see you promising to help one.” When Roxy took a step toward him, he raised his gun slightly, ready to fire.

She weighed her odds and ducked down quickly, sweeping Charlie's feet from under him. As he fell to the ground, she grabbed his gun and popped the magazine out. “RUN!” she shouted to Sarah. As the ghoul ran from the room, Roxy punched the hunter in the nose.

He grabbed her wrist and kicked her off of him. He picked himself up and laughed darkly. “You know, once I'm done with you, I'm going to hunt that bitch down and kill her like the animal she is,” he said. He kicked Roxy in the ribs, grabbed her by the hair, and shoved her into the wall. Roxy grunted in pain and clutched her side.

“You're insane,” she managed to chuckle.

“That's rich, coming from you,” Jace said, still watching everything that was going on. “Helping a ghoul? Really?”

Roxy frowned and tried to ignore him. Charlie didn't seem to see Jace, because he didn't react. The hunter just punched her in her injured ribs and kneed her in the stomach, causing her to double over and cough. He gripped her throat and slammed her back into the wall. “She's a monster. She deserves to be killed.”

“She wasn't hurting anybody,” she wheezed, trying to loosen his grip on her throat. It didn't work to her advantage. “She's innocent. She doesn't deserve death.”

Charlie smiled darkly and chuckled again. “That's where you're wrong. She's a monster. We kill monsters. Nothing to it.” His grip on her tightened, closing off her airway. “It's not like she's got any family or anything to live for, right?”

“No family? Nothing to live for? Sound familiar, Roxy?” Jace smirked from his place in the corner. 

“In fact,” Charlie went on, “I was going to give her a quick death, but seeing you try to defend her? I'm going to kill her nice and slowly.”

The quip about Sarah's family set her off. There was fire in Roxy's eyes. She brought her knee up to Charlie's groin, squeezed on the pressure point in his wrist, and wrenched his hand away from her. “I'd say I'd kill you if you touch one hair on her head, but let's be real. You wouldn't take me seriously if I let you leave here alive.” She kicked him away from her and grabbed her knife.

He grabbed her arm and kicked her in the stomach again. He grabbed her neck again, but she knocked his arm away and headbutted him. As he stumbled back, wiping the blood from his nose, he glared at her. “Why help her?” he hissed.

“I don't know. I have a soft spot for orphans and broken things,” she said. When he rushed her again, she stabbed him in the stomach. Glaring into his shocked eyes, she twisted the knife sharply. “After all. Monsters like you all deserve to die, don't they?” With that, she sliced upwards and pushed Charlie away. She stepped over his motionless body to quickly gather her things.

“Killing humans now?” Jace asked, kneeling to examine the bleeding hunter. “Seems a bit cold, even for you. Don't you think?”

“You know what? SHUT UP!” she shouted, gripping her dagger tightly. “Why do you care? It's not like YOU did anything to help!”

“Why should I help? You remember what happened, don't you?” Jace stood, as calm as ever, slowly approaching Roxy.

“SHUT UP!” Roxy threw the knife at him and closed her eyes, opening them to find Loki staring at her from the doorway.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “I heard your call.” He looked at the knife embedded in the wall and the dying hunter on the floor. “Did I miss cocktail hour?”

Roxy looked at where Jace had been, confused for a moment, before grabbing her duffel and knife from the wall. “Come on. We're getting out of here. We're sleeping in the car tonight.”

Loki glanced back at the body before snapping his fingers to wipe all evidence of Roxy from the room. He followed her out to the car, trusting her to explain later. “So, what's the plan?”

“Get as far away from here as possible and try to find out who left that coin in my room,” she said. She froze for a moment before sighing and hitting her head against the steering wheel. “Oh no.”

“What?”

“I almost forgot. I have a date in Amarillo in two days.” Roxy took a moment to decide which was more important: Finding out who was trying to track her, or meet up with some guy she met once.

It didn't take her long to decide. Amarillo it was.


	8. Maddest Kind of Love

It was a long drive to Texas, and Loki falling asleep in the passenger seat did nothing to help pass the time. He would, on occasion, wake up to complain about cars taking so long. After a snide remark about looking into the coin instead of chasing boys, he would roll over and go back to sleep. After a few hours of this, Roxy got tired of it.

She pulled over and stepped out of the car, using the excuse that she needed to stretch her legs. She took a few steps into the trees and pulled out her cell phone, dialing the one person she felt would really listen to her.

“Dr. Livingston?” She leaned against the tree as the familiar voice of her psychiatrist answered the phone. “It's me. Roxanne Lauffer.”

“Roxanne! It's been a while. How are you?” Dr. Robert Livingston had been her psychiatrist since long before she started hunting, and was one of the few in her life that knew what she was doing. She had tried to keep it a secret, but learned quickly just how good he was at reading people.

“I've been better, to be quite honest,” she said.

“Being honest? Well, at least you've made progress.” He chuckled, the chair groaning as he reclined back in his seat. “How could you be better? What made you call me?”

“It's … Well, it's complicated. I'm getting angrier and less patient than I was when I started out, but I feel this need to keep going. I have this sense of helplessness, but...” She trailed off and slid down the trunk of the tree, searching for the words she wanted to say.

“But what?” The chair he sat in creaked as he shifted weight. Roxy could picture him sitting up and leaning against the desk, just as he had when he learned what she did for a living.

It was another few moments before Roxy spoke again. “But I met someone.”

She could almost feel the doctor's eyebrows rose in surprise. “A someone that you've been looking for? Or a someone you weren't?”

“That's where it gets complicated,” she said. “I met him once, at a bar, in the middle of nowhere Massachusetts, but I can't stop thinking about him. I want to keep talking to him, but he has no idea who I am. I gave him a fake name, for Christ's sake!” She ran her fingers through her hair, realizing how weird this would sound. “I'm driving across the country to see him again, even though I know it would never work.”

“When you say 'it', would you tell me what you mean?”

“I mean any kind of relationship. Casual or otherwise. I mean, how could I hope to maintain any sense of normality when I'm living so far away from normal that seeing white picket fences makes me paranoid?” She took a deep breath and let out an awkward sort of chuckle. “What would you do, if you were me?”

Dr. Livingston was quiet for a while, deep in thought. “I can't make any decisions for you. You know that, Roxanne. My best advice would be to listen to your instinct. If your instinct is to go and meet him, do it. If, however, your instinct tells you to focus on your quest, do it.”

Roxy bit her lip and nodded. “Thank you, Dr. Livingston. That's all I needed to hear.” They exchanged their goodbyes and she headed back to the car, taking a moment to think before she even put the key back in the ignition.

On the one hand, she did leap at the decision to go all the way to Texas to meet back up with Gavin. But, on the other hand, she knew she had to look into the demon that had begun to track her. She tried to stop thinking and decide what felt natural, but every time she felt herself drawn towards that cafe in Amarillo. Every scenario, every possibility, every detail she thought out only led her closer to her conclusion to see Gavin again.

It was hard for her to hide her smile. With her decision in mind, she felt happier.

A few more hours passed, and Roxy rolled into Amarillo with a couple of hours to spare. Exhausted from the trip, she laid down on the bed, setting her phone to wake her in an hour so she could meet Gavin.

She fell asleep with a smile on her face. Whatever it was about Gavin, just the idea of being with him made her feel better about her life. Maybe it was just an excuse to pretend to be normal, but it was a nice break from her average every day life. And even if she didn't stick around, she could fool herself for a few hours. Maybe even a few days. For now, though, she was content just seeing a man that might be interested in her. It was the chance that something more could grow that pulled her to Amarillo.

 

Even after begging Loki to wake her from her nap to give her enough time to shower, do her makeup, get dressed, and get to the cafe, Roxy found herself waking up well past the agreed upon 7pm. In her drowsy state, she blinked at the red lights of the alarm clock, finding it difficult to process what time it was showing.

 _8:30? That doesn't seem right._ She looked at her watch to confirm and gasped upon realizing just how late she'd slept in. In an instant, she bounced up from the bed and ran into the bathroom. She touched up her makeup, ran a brush through her hair, grabbed her keys and her wallet and prayed that Gavin was still there, if he had decided to show up at all.

It was 9 before she finally found the cafe and 9:15 when she finally found a place to park. As she ran through the door, she bumped into someone, almost toppling over. “I'm so sorry. I was just...” She looked up at Gavin, and almost instantly felt her heart rise. She smiled up at him, trying to catch her breath. “Hi.”

Gavin smiled back at her, breathing a sigh of relief. “I didn't think you would come,” he said. After processing that she showed up, he realized how much of a wreck she looked like. “You don't look well.”

Roxy chuckled and nodded, mentally kicking herself for showing up in this state. She may be a hunter, but she had a sense of pride. Showing up looking disheveled as she was didn't send the message she wanted to send. “I got caught up with business,” she said. “I drove all day to get here.”

Gavin's brows raised a little in surprise. “In that case, I'm sorry I didn't wait longer.” He glanced back at the table he'd been sitting at, being cleared by a surly looking bus boy. When he returned his attention to Roxy, he smiled. “Well, Miss Wednesday Addams,” Roxy had to take a second to remind herself of the name she'd given him, “Why don't you meet me back at my hotel? I have one quick stop I need to make.” When Roxy failed to suppress her blush, Gavin smiled his charming smile at her and pushed a lock of her hair out of her eyes. “The restaurant is closing, and I think it's safe to assume that neither of us have eaten anything.”

Roxy smiled awkwardly and nodded. “That's probably a safe bet,” she said. She looked down at herself, and decided the least she could do was make herself more presentable. “You know, it's been a long day and I should probably wash up before heading over to your hotel.”

“Use my washroom.” Gavin's smile never faded. Not once. It made Roxy feel safe and happy. She was more okay with her decision to choose Gavin over the tracking coin than she was when she walked in the door. “I almost guarantee the shower in my room has warmer water than the one at the motel you're staying at.”

He had a point, and she knew it. She nodded in agreement. “Oh, twist my arm some more,” she joked. “I won't say no to a warm shower.” She cursed the blush that crept its way to her cheeks as Gavin leaned over to kiss her forehead.

The two of them parted ways just temporarily enough for Roxy to drive back to her motel to throw her belongings into her trunk and check out. If this meeting went anything like the last one did, she had a feeling she wouldn't need this room, and she was perfectly okay with that.

The two of them reached the hotel around the same time, and Roxy was a little overwhelmed with the extravagance of the exterior. She felt a tinge of guilt for bringing Gavin into the last shitty motel she stayed in, especially because he clearly had enough money to be able to afford to stay in nice places like this. What must he think of her? All the same, he smiled as he led her to his room, hardly batting an eye at the duffel she carried. It gave Roxy a sense of comfort that she hadn't been accustomed to in years.

As they settled into the room, Gavin turned a blind eye to Roxy to give her some privacy as she cleaned herself up. He pulled some plates from the kitchenette and opened the door when the room service brought their dinner to the door. He got food onto plates while Roxy clothed herself and the two of them sat on the bed to dig in to the food.

“Room service?” she asked, noting the cart sitting near the door. “Kind of fancy.” She stopped when she realized how that could have sounded. “I mean … I don't usually stay at places with room service. And I can't really afford it.” She stopped talking and took a bite of the steak he'd ordered. It was actually one of the best steaks she'd ever had.

 It must have shown on her face, because Gavin smiled and toyed with the food on his plate. They sat in silence for a moment while they ate. Then Gavin finally broke the silence. “Tell me about yourself,” he said. “What made you want to be a photojournalist?”

Roxy thought for a moment, trying to think of a plausible story. She ended up thinking of one that wasn't too far away from the truth. “It gives me a great chance to travel,” she said. “My parents would always take my brother and I on a different road trip every year. It was the happiest time of my life, being able to see the country. I guess the drive just kind of stuck.”

Gavin furrowed his brow. “You said before your father had passed. Do you mind if I ask how?” He took a bite of his meal as she answered.

“He was the first in a lot of misfortune in the family,” she said. She wasn't used to talking about her father, but she really didn't feel like trying to lie about it. “Towards the end of his life, he went kind of crazy. He'd abuse my brother and I, go on and on about religion and folklore, and disappear for months at a time.” She surprised herself with the emotion she felt when talking about him. She did miss her father. At least, she missed the man he used to be. “We got news about eight years ago that he'd been shot in some cemetery in the middle of nowhere, and they had no idea who did it.”

She picked at some of the food on her plate before going on. She knew he would ask, and she wanted to just say it. “My mom was an unsolved kidnapping, and my brother was attacked in front of me. He died in my arms. It was just after this fight we'd had about trying to solve our mother's case ourselves. I said it was too reckless, and he wouldn't have any of that.”

Gavin frowned and took her hand in his. He knew it couldn't have been easy to tell him any of that, and he was actually glad she told him. “I'm sorry for your loss,” he said. “I've known people that let death run their lives, either trying to avoid it or trying to avenge it. If it helps, I think it shows a great amount of strength that you've come to terms with things.”

Those words caused Roxy's heart to sink. Regardless, she put on a smile and squeezed his hand gently. “I'm usually pretty stubborn, but even I know when something's a lost cause.” She'd have to thank Loki when she saw him next for the lessons on lying effectively. She'd never really appreciated them until this very moment. She took a deep breath and looked at Gavin, her smile turning a little more natural. “What about you? What's your story?”

Gavin chuckled and set his plate down. “My story is long,” he said. “Not quite as interesting as yours seems, of course.” He bit his lip and furrowed his brow in thought. “Fairly normal childhood, even if my mother was a bit of a witch. My father was absorbed in his work, and they both died fairly uneventful deaths. I got into a sort of consulting business that I'm not allowed to talk about much. I've seen a couple of drastic shifts in management in the last ten years or so.” He paused and looked at Roxy. “I told you it wasn't interesting.”

Roxy chuckled and nudged him playfully with her elbow. “Well, I'm sure you've got some great stories,” she said. Something in her gut told her he wasn't being entirely honest with her, but for once she just wanted someone to be normal. She pushed the feeling to the side and leaned into him.

Gavin put his arm around her and pressed a kiss into her hair. “When I think of any, I'll let you know,” he joked. Roxy glanced up at him and he stole a kiss, catching her a bit by surprise. She wished she could stop blushing, and this time she knew he noticed. He smiled a charmingly smug smile and reached for a bottle of wine.

“Wine?” she asked, feeling very out of place in her denim shorts and plaid flannel shirt. It was strange enough for her to be in such a fancy hotel eating room service, but the wine made it that much stranger.

“I thought it would be appropriate,” he said. “You are some of the best company I've met on the road, and you did show up at that restaurant. Even if you were a couple of hours late.” Roxy stuck her tongue out at him, barely thinking twice that she was a thirty year old woman reacting like a child. “Besides. I should be allowed to properly court you.”

The words made her blush. Was there anything about this man that wouldn't make her blush? Just as the thought crossed her mind, he poured her a glass of wine and handed it to her. “To meeting amazing new people?”

“And hoping they stick around,” she continued. They clinked glasses and each took a sip.

The rest of the evening saw Roxy curling up in Gavin's arms, drifting off into a pleasant, relaxed sleep.


	9. Sweet Dreams are Made of These

The sunlight hit Roxy’s eyes through the window. She was prepared to get up to get herself packed up, but she felt the warm body next to her and curled closer to him. Her lips pressed gently to Gavin’s shoulder as she slowly opened her eyes.

For a moment, everything was right with the world. She was comfortable in this bed, in the arms of the man she had somehow managed to fall in love with. She was happy. Genuinely happy. Happy enough that it only barely registered with her that she didn’t remember falling asleep in a bed this comfortable. In fact she didn’t remember falling asleep with Gavin.

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. The last thing she remembered couldn’t possibly have left her in this situation.

Her eyes shot open. Where the hell was she?

What she saw was surprising. She didn’t recognize where she was. The room was extravagant and beautifully decorated, but it wasn't something familiar to her. This wasn’t like any hotel she’d ever been to. Even the swanky, five star resort Gavin had taken her to the last time they crossed paths. It made her extremely nervous. She was out of place, and she didn’t like it. A new environment meant she didn’t know all the entrances and exits. And, more importantly, she wouldn’t know how to protect Gavin if she needed to. With that thought, she leapt to her feet and began searching for any sign that told her where she was.

Then came a voice from the bed. “What are you doing up?”

Roxy whirled around to see Gavin sitting up and glancing at the clock. “It's 5AM. You don't have to go to work for another three hours.”

Roxy stared at him, more than a little confused. Work? She was a hunter. She could work any time she wanted to, and had no schedule. She told him she worked as a photojournalist. How would that imply a schedule? And this certainly didn't look like any hotel room she'd shared with him.

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

He stared at her, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. “The college?” He sat on the edge of the bed near her, looking concerned about her. “Your class is at 8, isn't it?”

Roxy held up a finger and walked out the door into … the hallway? Was this a house? She grabbed her wallet from the purse next to the door, thumbed through it frantically, and saw a teacher I.D. She was a teacher? This … it made no sense. She tried to think back to what she was doing before she went to sleep. She was on a hunt. She was cornered in some parking garage somewhere when she was jumped. She remembered seeing blue glowing eyes and something putting a hand on her. Then …. she woke up here.

But here, she was a professor in college. A glance at the wall told her she had a PhD in history, and another glance at the bookshelf told her she'd had books published on folklore. She'd always wanted to have made a difference in the academic world.

Gavin followed her into the living room and put a hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright, Roxy?”

She froze again. He knew her real name now? This had to be a dream. She pinched herself and winced at the pain. Okay, so not a dream. Did the Jinn grant her wish, then? She had a sinking feeling, but she couldn't remember why. She finally looked at Gavin and nodded slowly. “I …. I think so?”

“Maybe you'd better call in sick,” he said. “Your family is coming by later for dinner.”

She could feel her heart swell. Her family was alive? And here? There was not one memory in her memory bank she could access in which her entire family _wanted_ to be in the same room. There was definitely something supernatural going on, and all she could assume was that the Jinn she had been hunting did this. It was the only thing that made sense. But there was so way she was going to let her worries distract her now. This might be the best thing that had ever happened to her. At the very least, she wanted to see where this might go.

“I think I might,” she said. “I can't wait to see them!”

And for once, it wasn’t a lie. She wanted to see the extent of this spell. She wanted to see her mother again. She wanted to see her brother. She wanted ….. She wanted to see what her father was like before all of this mess happened. Or if he would change at all. She wanted to know either way.

The redhead bounced into the bedroom again and took a moment to examine herself in the mirror, and was startled at what she saw. Her hair was shorter, not quite as vibrant as before, and she only had a couple of tattoos. The only ones missing were the ones she'd gotten after she started hunting. No scars, either. The one tattoo that remained was the angel wing covering her left shoulder and bicep. Perhaps she should have been concerned that her hair was more of an orangey copper than what used to be a bright, bloody red, but it certainly wouldn’t have been the strangest thing to happen so far. In fact, it was a small price to pay, if what she was experiencing was real.

Her eyes wandered down to further examine herself and fell on her left hand. An engagement ring glistened on her ring finger. It was one of the most beautiful rings she'd ever seen. Not diamond. She never wanted diamond anyway. It was an emerald. A smile tugged at her lips. She could almost hear Gavin’s voice compare it to her eyes. Just the thought of it made her blush.

So, she could gather that somehow she had never become a hunter, and she was engaged to someone that could easily be described as the sweetest man she'd ever met, and she was successful in her field of passion. It was the life she'd always wanted. It was so wonderful, she really didn't want to question it. She decided not to. The consequences were obvious, but for the first time in a long time, she had a chance to be happy. Even the most objective of hunters would take this chance, wouldn’t they?

A pair of arms sliding around her waist jolted her out of her thoughts. She glanced into the mirror and felt warmth spread through her chest as she saw Gavin lean his chin against her shoulder. Her head tilted to the side to nuzzle her cheek against his, unable to hide the stupid grin on her face. So this was what it felt like to be normal?

“Let’s do something today, Gav. I’ll use a sick day.” Was that what they were called? She hoped she used the right term. “I don’t care what we do, but let’s do something.” She turned in his arms to press her chest against his, resting a hand on the back of his neck.

A smirk pulled at his lips as Gavin held her flush against him. “A thought does leap to mind.” He touched his lips to hers, gently running his hand through her hair, eliciting a pleased moan from deep in her chest. She could feel the smirk widen in pride, and she chuckled. If this _was_ the work of a Jinn, she wasn’t sure she wanted to wake up. The more she grew comfortable with this dream world, the more she felt compelled to stay.

Just as Roxy had begun kissing her fiancé back, her phone went off. She whined and tore herself away from the safety of Gavin’s arms and glanced at her phone. The only person that ever called her was her doctor, so imagine her surprise when she saw her brother’s name on the caller ID. Her heart leapt. He really _was_ alive! This was better news than she could have possibly hoped for. Her finger slammed down on the green button and she eagerly put the phone to her ear.

“Jace! Holy shit, it’s so great to hear from you!” The excitement in her voice couldn’t be contained, despite the exasperated sigh she heard from the other end.

“Rox. Calm down. We literally spoke last night. We had dinner.” Her brother was silent for a moment, as though contemplating how bad her hangover must have been. “Did you drink yourself into a coma last night? I mean, I know how thrilled you are with your new life and all, but seriously.”

“No! I feel great! It’s just …. It feels like forever since I’ve heard from you. Like, honest to god heard your voice.” Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Gavin roll his eyes. She stuck her tongue out at him and chuckled.

“Okay. My sister has lost it. Good to know.” Jace laughed nervously and fell quiet for another few moments. “So, listen, I can’t make it to dinner tonight. It’s not that I don’t want to see Mom, but…”

Her heart sank into her stomach. Then, somehow, managed to sink lower. Was Mom okay? Her first thought was that her mother was going through another bipolar episode. Even Jinn magic couldn’t fix that, and it was the only explanation for Jace not to want to be around her. He never liked being around Mom when she was like that.

“Jace, please. I haven’t seen her in forever, and I want the whole family to be together. It’s just for one night. Please?” Her hands were beginning to shake. The idea that her perfect world still wasn’t perfect scared her. Of course it couldn’t be that simple. It was never that simple. A glance at Gavin, though, still gave her hope that she could make this work.

More silence from the other line before she could hear her brother give in. “Alright fine. But if things start getting weird, I’m cutting out early.”

“Thanks, bro. I owe you one!”

“Yeah, you do.” Jace chuckled before Roxy heard the soft ‘click’ to signify the call was over.

She beamed at Gavin and threw her arms around him. She was excited. Thrilled, even, at the thought that she could see her mother and brother again. The thought crossed her mind that it meant seeing her father, too. She wasn’t sure how to feel about it, but things could always be worse. She took solace in that much.

After finally taking Roxy back into his arms, Gavin chuckled. “Is this giddiness I’m seeing? Since when do you get giddy?” He grinned and kissed her forehead. “I think I might like this version of you.” When she blushed, his smile softened. He loved seeing her blush. He took great pride in getting her cheeks to turn red enough to clash with her hair. “Now you stop it. When you look at me like that, it makes me want to do anything you say.”

The redhead chuckled and carded her fingers through his hair. “Well, when you put it that way…” She kissed him as lovingly as she was able before meeting his eyes with her own. “Let’s go on an adventure. You and me. Let’s get in the car and drive until we run out of gas. We can be back in time for dinner!”

Gavin grinned and kissed her barely a moment before his cell phone went off. He looked far less annoyed than Roxy would have liked, and showed little shame in dragging himself away to look at his phone. “Damn. It’s important.” He looked back at his fiancé and gave a sigh before stepping toward the closet to get dressed. “I’ve been working on this deal for months. I’ve got to go take care of something. I’ll be lucky if I get back by dinner.”

Roxy stood in stunned silence. He was saying all of this like it was normal. This didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem fair. “But … But, my brother …”

“I know, I know. I’ll meet him tomorrow.” He flashed his charming smile and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “I’ll be back before you know it, love.”

Damn that smile. As angry as she wanted to be, Roxy couldn’t stay mad at a man that smiled like that. It did leave her with a strange taste in her mouth, though. Like this wasn’t the first time this had happened. She might have felt some residual resentment that he was leaving just as things were getting nice and pleasant.

But still, she smiled. If nothing else, she could look forward to seeing her mother. Right? That was something to look forward to, wasn’t it?

With Gavin off doing … whatever it was he did, Roxy had nothing to do. She paced around her home for minutes that seemed like hours before putting herself to work. She cleaned and organized, then cleaned and organized everything again. For so many years she had been on the move, she now no longer remembered how to cope with free time. In fact, she was sure she hated it now. There were no more hunts, no more calls, no more driving for days on end, and worst of all – no more Loki. She never thought she would have missed the trickster’s endless snark.

Surely she must have managed to pass a few hours by creating mindless tasks for herself, right? A glance at the clock proved her wrong. It had barely been an hour. How was that even possible?

Was this what Hell was like? A hunter with nothing to hunt. Except, she wasn’t a hunter anymore. How could she ever have imagined she’d miss it? Was she so far gone now that she _needed_ the thrill? She shook her head, no. That wasn’t going to be her. It couldn’t be anymore. This was her world now.

After doing everything she possibly could to make the time pass by a little faster, she finally got ready to go to dinner with her mother. She tried – honestly tried – to make herself excited to see her mother, but with the way things seemed to be panning out, it was quite a task. On the drive to the restaurant (it felt almost blasphemous that she didn’t have her minibus, but if she’d never met Bobby, it stood to reason that she wouldn’t have it) to prepare herself for the worst.

Her mother, however, seemed to be in good spirits and Roxy felt a ray of hope peek through the dark clouds that had gathered over her perfect world. The redhead ran over to hug her mother and was met in the most welcome, warmest embrace she could have hoped for, and for that moment, she was happy. This was what she had wanted for more than three years.

“It’s good to see you, mom!” And for once, she meant it. This was the mother she romanticized so much in her recollections. The happy, loving, stable woman that could make her feel like nothing could hurt her.

They sat down and ordered their appetizer, and Roxy felt her heart sink when she saw her father walk in. He was smiling which, as history had taught her, was always a bad sign.

The conversation was congenial. It was unexpected, but certainly not unwelcome. There was no sign of Jace, but Roxy knew better than to take him at his word. That much, it seemed, hadn’t changed.

Then, suddenly, the conversation took an unfortunate turn.

“Roxy, when are you coming home?”

It hit far too close to home. Even in her life as a hunter, she had wanted more than anything to return to her home town. Why did it have to be the same in this life?

“Mom, I …” There was no good answer. She didn’t know _how_ to answer. “I’ll try to make it home for the holidays. Gavin and I-“

Her father scoffed. “Oh please. You’ve said that for three years and you haven’t so much as visited. Hell, you rarely call us anymore.”

“Luke, please,” her mother pleaded, “this isn’t the time.”

Her father’s face contorted in a scowl. No. No, please. Not in this life, too. “Maybe you’ve been doped out on your meds too long to notice, but I haven’t.” He turned to Roxy, speaking in barely more than a growl. “Your brother, at least, calls us once a week. He’s even visited.” He knew exactly which buttons to push to push his daughter to the brink of tears. “Why can’t you-“

“What?” she snapped. “Why can’t I what, dad? Be more like Jace? I’m sorry I’m not your favorite. I’m sorry I wanted more out of my life than he did. I’m sorry I make more in a week than you do all year. But I’m not sorry I moved away from _you_.”

Without another word, she stormed out of the restaurant, only to collapse into tears in her car. She drove home in silence. It should have been a comfort to know her life would have been no better without the supernatural than with, but she didn’t _feel_ better.

When she walked through the door and saw Gavin, she hardly said a word. She had to wake up. Somehow, she had to wake up.

“Roxy? What’s wrong?” he asked, looking genuinely concerned.

“Everything. Everything is wrong. This isn’t what I wished for. I wanted my family alive. I wanted to be free of the hunt. I wanted to see my brother and know he was real. I wanted _you_. I wanted to be _happy_. But you’re not real. None of this is.”

“What are you talking about? Of course I’m real.”

“NO YOU’RE NOT!” she screamed, tears threatening to stream down her face. “I shouldn’t have tried to take on a Jinn by myself. I know that. But dammit, I was the only one that could do something about it, and now I’m going to die, and I don’t even get to ride it out with my family!”

Gavin’s expression fell. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Before she knew it, Jace was in the room with her. Gavin spoke again. “Roxy, you’re right. You’re going to die. But at least you can be happy with _me_. With Jace. This is what you wanted.”

“No it’s not! I wanted to believe my life could have been better. Without demons, without angels, without vampires and werewolves and ghouls and ghosts and changelings and Jinns. Without any of it!”

“You wanted to know there was nothing you could have done to stop the past from happening. And there wasn’t. Shouldn’t that have put you at ease?”

“Well, maybe. But it doesn’t. Knowing there was no chance for a happy childhood? No one wants that!”

_Hey, red. Wake up._

What the hell was that? Was there another hunter?

“Roxy, stay with me. You can live a lifetime with me. We can grow old together. Have a family of our own. You can raise your children better than your father could.”

_Hey! You hear me? I said wake up!_

“None of that means anything if I die.”

“It will be painless. I promise. Come with me. Please.”

_For the love of- WAKE. UP._

And before she knew what happened, she felt a sharp pain on her cheek. Her muscles reacted instantly and threw a punch at the one that did the slapping. As soon as her fist collided with the stranger’s cheek, she fell limp again. Barely able to open her eyes, she saw two men. Two hunters. Her eyes fell to the dead Jinn on the floor behind them.

She should have felt better. That her life wouldn’t have been better. That she was going to live. That there was still a chance for her.

She should have felt better, but she didn’t.

Unconsciousness took her, but she was alive.


	10. Little White Lie

When Roxy woke, she was barely conscious enough to take notice of every detail around her. She hated that. She needed to be aware, or at least know where she was. It was far too dangerous for anything less. Especially considering what happened last time she "woke up".

It all seemed familiar. Slightly off, but recognizable as the motel she had signed into. She breathed a sigh of relief, turning her gaze toward the dresser across the room.

… _Those aren't my bags._

Oh shit.

Her hand flew to the gun on her hip. Well, not so much flew as sluggishly and shakily twitched to the gun. Well, it would have gone to the gun if she still had one on her. That definitely didn't bode well for her.

Her eyes creaked open to see the two hunters from the parking garage. Her rescuers, as the case may have been. It left a bad taste in her mouth just thinking about it.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy." The taller man with the longer hair started to move toward her. It was probably a gesture to show she was safe, but it wasn't read that way. He backed off immediately when he saw her recoil. If Roxy had been more alert, she may have caught the almost hurt expression on his face. "You were attacked by a-"

"Jinn. Yeah." Her voice was barely more than a croak. How the hell long was she out? And how long did that mean she was in this motel room? "To be fair, I hit it first."

The other hunter looked at the first, his expression somewhere between impressed and confused. He lowered his crossed arms and shifted his weight, smirking almost condescendingly at her. "No offense, sweetie, but you might want to leave the hunting to the professionals."

"Fuck off, pretty boy. Take your ego and shove it right up your-"

Roxy was interrupted by the taller man holding his hands up defensively. She glared him down and he gave a dirty look to his partner. "I think we're getting off on the wrong foot. I'm Sam, and this is my brother Dean."

She was dumbfounded. Sam and Dean? Surely this wasn't _the_ Sam and Dean she'd heard so much about. From what she'd been told, they were professionals. They were supposed to be intimidating.

"Yeah. Sure you are. And I'm the tooth fairy." She tried to sit herself up, and must have looked ridiculous, because Sam tried to get her to lay down again. "You try to touch me and you'll never play the piano again."

Dean snickered briefly before he was silenced by another glance from his brother. "What? She's got some spirit." The elder brother looked at the redhead and gave her a more serious glance. "Seriously, though. Hunting a Jinn by yourself is an amateur move. If we hadn't been tracking it-"

"Yeah, and where were you? If I'm so amateur, how did I find it days before you did? I mean really. If you two are so great, where the fuck were you?" The more Dean tried to insult her, the angrier she was getting. She just almost died, and she knew it was her fault. She didn't need someone to remind her.

Dean sighed, unwilling to more verbally admit that she had a point. "You're not wrong, but-"

"But nothing, pretty boy," she hissed. "I had backup, but he's … not super reliable. He believes in 'teachable moments'. You can imagine how well that's worked out for me." After a moment, she sighed. It wasn't a good idea to make an enemy out of other hunters. As much as she didn't like the Winchester's reputations, she knew she needed to put that animosity to the side. "Do me a favor. We're at the Shermalot Motel, right? First motel in the phonebook? Go to room 17. There's a bottle of Glenmorangie in the blue duffel."

The two brothers exchanged a glance before Sam furrowed his brow. "It's 9 in the morning."

"And a muffin." She gave the younger brother a scowl, trying to appear more alert than she actually felt. "You try to question my life choices one more time, and I'm cutting off all your hair, Fabio."

He stopped smiling and leaned away from her. Dean snickered again, and Roxy got the feeling that it wasn't an uncommon threat. If she wasn't trying so hard to be grumpy in hopes that maybe they'd leave her alone, she might have cracked a smile.

Dean left them in silence, and it was the third most uncomfortable silence she'd ever known. She and Sam stared at each other, trying to work out if there was any universe in which they could possibly get along. From all that Roxy had read in Carver Edlund's books, she wasn't sure she _wanted_ to be Sam's friend. Sure, he was kind of a puppy dog, but there was nothing about his reputation that made her want to like him.

When Dean came back, he dropped the bag carelessly onto the bed at Roxy's feet. "There we go. Hunter's Helper for the grumpy redhead in Sam's bed."

The face she made was far less subtle than she might have liked. She whined and rolled out of the bed, onto the floor. It took all of the energy she had remaining to reach up to grab the bottle out of the duffel, nursing it like a security blanket.

Dean stared, unsure how to react. "You, uh ... need any help getting back up?"

"Fuck no. I've read the books. Every woman that winds up in his bed dies a horrible death. I'm not about that life." She sat up to lean against the opposite bed, taking a swig from her bottle. "No offense, of course."

The emotion flew off Sam's face. "Sure. Right." He looked down at his hands, clearly hurt by her words, and Roxy didn't seem to take notice. Or care. She had good reason, though she wouldn't admit it to two complete strangers.

Dean frowned, not impressed with her attitude. It was one thing when Sam admitted his luck with women, but it was another thing entirely when someone used it to hurt him. "Listen, red. I-"

"My name is Roxy, jockhead." Her tone was still biting, but she was losing the will to fight. "My name is Roxanne Azalea Lauffer. I'm 37, my mother was kidnapped by a shifter, basically everyone I care about is dead, and neither of you two are going to remember me or care the second we part ways." She looked up at Dean, all of the fight in her eyes gone. "You think you're some kind of hero, don't you? You two think that just because you're always in the wrong place at the wrong time that you're the only people terrible things happen to. I've got news for you. You're wrong. You're not special. You ruin more lives than you save, and you don't even care."

She staggered to her feet and collected her things, shakily trying to stumble to the door. The sooner she got away from the Winchesters, the better. At least, she thought so.

Dean was stunned enough, he made no move to stop her. Sam, however, stood and took a single step toward her. "I'm sorry you think so little of us, but none of that is true. C'mon. Sit back down. We can talk this out."

Roxy whirled around to glare at him, jaw locked in anger to spite the tears in her eyes. "I didn't ask you to save me. There's nothing to talk about. You two have it locked in your heads that you're the most important hunters humanity has to offer, and that's all that matters to you. You get a thrill from it. You're the ones people want to call, but the rest of us have to pick up after you. You want us to clean up your mess. I'm not playing that game." She stormed out the door, slamming it behind her.

Sam and Dean exchanged glances again, at a loss for words. They silently agreed that they were at least going to keep an eye on her to make sure she was safe. She was right, and they knew it. Dean, especially, knew how right she was. Sam tried to forget all the bad they had done, and Dean liked to pretend they changed lives for the better, but …. Well, here was this girl they had saved telling them the harsh reality of it all.

When Roxy got to her motel room, she collapsed in on herself. She could feel Loki rush over to her, trying to help her to her feet, but she waved him off. She was somewhere between stubborn and tired, and either way, she just wanted to be left on the floor.

"What did I tell you?" asked the trickster. "You should have-"

"Waited for you before I went after the Jinn. I know. Shut up." She buried her face in the carpet, aggravated enough with the whole situation that she really just wanted to hide from the world for a while.

She glanced up and saw a surprised, confused look on her guardian's face. "What?"

He shook his head and walked back to sit on the edge of the bed. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

Well, everyone was acting weird today.

After a few minutes, she picked herself up, surprised at how much better she felt, and shuffled over to sit on the edge of the bed next to Loki.

"Alright, so lesson learned. Hunting alone is bad." She looked up at the fire god, sheepishly. "Is it too late to start getting those witchcraft lessons? I mean, I'm already going to hell, so I might as well reserve a first class ticket, right?"

Loki managed a smile and pulled her into a half hug. "Kid, you're alright. You're gonna go far." He mussed Roxy's hair and offered a more playful grin. "So, about those Winchesters. I could pop them into a dimension where they’re surrounded by clowns and trapped on an endless plane trip."

Roxy laughed and shook her head. "Nah. They're fine where they are." She leaned a little more heavily on her mentor, far too proud to admit her own soreness. "By that, of course, I mean as far out of my life as possible. I really don't think I have the energy to deal with them, and I sure as hell don't want to be next on their casualties' roster."

The trickster knew all too well what she meant. He had his own reasons for wanting to see the Winchesters hurt, but this wasn't the time to let his own personal grudges get in the way. What mattered most to him now was Roxy's safety.

"Let's get you out of town, then." He stood up and helped gather her things. It was uncharacteristic, as far as Roxy was concerned. He usually just let her fend for herself. Something was up. But there he was, packing her things for her. "C'mon. I'll drive. You've got a date with Gavin to get to, don't you?"

That brightened the redhead's expression. She made herself get up and shuffled her way to the motel door. "You sure you can drive?"

Loki laughed and ushered her toward the van. "I've been watching you drive for years. I'm sure I can figure it out."

Normally, this would have set her on edge, but she was far too tired, and she certainly wanted to put some distance between herself and the Winchesters. If Loki was willing to do that for her, she wasn't going to stop him.

As she started to drift off in the passenger seat of the car, she reflected on the last 24 hours. How happy she was in that dreamworld, how angry she was at the Winchester for saving her … Come to think of it, she had little reason to want to come out of that particular coma. For a brief, shining moment, her life was perfect. And now, the Winchesters were on her tail. She lived to come back to her pitiful life, with only the glimmer of a hope that she might pretend to be normal with a man she knew nothing about.

But, a glimmer of hope was better than nothing.

And so, she slept. She slept with that glimmer of hope that maybe things will get better. That maybe things would work out for the better


	11. Dark Horse

“Blue or green?” Roxy held up two dresses. Whether or not she felt like she deserved it, she was determined to make tonight a night to remember.

There was a moment’s silence, then…

“Blue.” Jace gestured to the blue dress, though he seemed far less interested I what Roxy was going to wear than what she planned to do. “Rox, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m the one you need to talk to about this shit. I love ya, but I think you’re making a huge mistake meeting this Gavin guy.”

“I asked for fashion advice, not dating advice. When I want dating advice, I’ll go to a leper colony.” Her tone was undercut by the amused smirk on her face. “I seem to remember your love life being spectacularly tragic, so I really don’t know what you could tell me that I can’t stumble into myself.”

“You’re dating a man you barely know. I don’t see how my failed relationships are relevant. Besides,” the smirk betrayed his general opinion about the whole ordeal, “I know mom taught you about strangers.”

“I don’t see why you’re bringing this up on the night of our third date… And I’d hardly call Gavin a stranger anymore.”

“What’s his last name?”

“….uhm….”

“What’s his favorite food?”

“Scotch?”

“Best friend’s name?”

“Probably Steve.”

“Eye color?”

“Dreamy.”

“Foot size?”

“Okay, I see what you’re implying and let me tell you. He’s particularly blessed-“

“Forget I asked. I regret asking. Never say those words again for as long as you live.” Jace sighed and shook his head. He opened his mouth to say something else, when there was a sudden knock at the door.

“Rox? You up?” Loki didn’t make a habit of knocking first, but then he rarely made a habit of being predictable.

“Shit.” Roxy looked at Jace helplessly.

“I don’t think he likes me.”

“He doesn’t know you. But yes, you are a little shit and no-one likes you anyway, so do me a solid and hide for me?”

It was hard for Jace to say no to the puppy eyes Roxy was batting at him. The two of them looked at the door, and Jace sighed as the knocking continued.

Roxy didn’t watch where he went, but once he was out of sight, she opened the door to let Loki in. “Hey! You should have knocked!”

“I have been knocking for several minutes now.” Suspicious didn’t quite describe how he looked around the motel room. “Who were you talking to?”

“I don’t have to answer that until you tell me what happened to my stash of Twinkies.”

“Alright, touché.” He smirked and looked at the two dresses Roxy was still holding. “Hot date with that Gavin guy tonight?” As if he didn’t already know the answer.

“Hmm? Oh! Yes! It’s our third date.” She beamed and looked at the dresses in the depressingly small motel mirror.

“And you already put out on the first! At this rate, he should be proposing to you!” Loki laughed at his own joke, as he was prone to do, then laughed harder at the look on the redhead’s face. “I’m just saying, you don’t think you’re moving a little fast?”

“Says the guy with 8 children with four different mothers. One of those mothers, I will remind you, is you.” One thing could be said about her, was that she could give as well as she could take.

“So? It turns out I’m not monogamous. So sue me.” Loki tried to look ashamed, but ended up just looking pleased with himself. “Look. All I’m saying is you could stand to put the brakes on until you know him a little better.”

“Did you know Svadlfari when you-“

“Point taken!” He held his hands up defensively and took another look at the dresses Roxy still hadn’t put down. “If you’ve made up your mind, wear the green one.”

Roxy looked at the green dress, then the blue, and then the green again. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Green’s more my color anyway.” She tossed her blue dress back into her duffel and laid the green one on the bed to ready it for that evening. “So are we still doing magic lessons today?”

Tricksters don’t often pitch in to help their protégés, but then again their protégés rarely find themselves in the kind of situation that Roxy was in.

Loki was stumped. He was used to giving people what they deserved, but only in the worst possible sense. But with Roxy, she deserved so much better than what life had handed her. It was like she was stuck in her own terrible time loop, and he wished he could figure out why. It certainly wasn’t his doing … this time.

Still, it was kind of his responsibility to help her stay alive. Wherever this shifter ended up, she would need all the help she could get.

“The thing about magic is not everyone is naturally attuned to it,” he said, offering a smile. “So I don’t want you to feel too upset if it takes you a while to get used to the energy shift. Hel, most witches make pacts with gods and devils to get their power.”

“Yeah, you know I’m not into that. No offense, but I don’t trust any deal you’d make. Let’s just see if I have any good mojo.”

Loki nodded and sat her down on the bed. “Now, first thing you need to learn is how to control your energy flow.” He held his hands, palms facing each other about six inches apart, and closed his eyes. Within seconds, a ball of fire sparked to life in the space between his hands. “It’s all based on intent. If you envision your energy burning like a flame that is what you will produce. From there you can manipulate it by concentrating on your intent.”

The flame vanished and he snapped his fingers, a candle appearing on the dresser. “Light the candle,” he said.

Roxy stood up again, officially enthralled by the use of magic, and closed her eyes. It was harder to envision anything at first. First, she couldn’t get her mind off of her date with Gavin. Despite what Jace had said earlier, she didn’t think things could go any better. Then, she couldn’t stop thinking about Jace. He had scared her a few weeks ago by showing up after all these years, but he had mellowed out considerably. In fact, he seemed mellower than she remembered him.

Fuck, this was harder than she thought.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do fire if I’m not feeling … fiery, y’know?”

“That’s fine. When you’re not feeling fiery, just … Think of something that makes you angry or passionate. Something that makes you feel intense. Try again.”

She did. This time, she imagined Gavin. Gavin and that smile. That smirk that curled the corner of his mouth upwards just slightly. The way his eyes sparkled with just a bit of knowing mischief. She started to relax, the clearer the picture became. But something was wrong. He glanced behind him and there were people gaining on him, carrying knives and guns. Just like that, Roxy’s anger began to build. She could feel the fire burning in her chest. She envisioned the fire pouring out of her chest, following her arms, to pool in her hands.

As she opened her eyes, she marveled at the fireball in her hands, looking at Loki excitedly. Before she got too excited, she gestured her hands around and watched the flames dance against her skin. Her eyes fell upon the unlit candle, and she visualized the fire shooting out and lighting the wick. No sooner did the image pop into her head, than the vision became a reality.

She closed her hand into a fist and the fire disappeared.

Loki, however, stared at her. He had been prepared for her to make a few sparks. He never expected her to light the candle on her first (or second) try. Either she was far more attuned to the forces of magic than he thought, or …

“Looks like you’ve got the gift,” he said, smirking at her. “The good news is, you’ve passed the first lesson. The bad news is, you look like you saw something terrible.”

“I …” Roxy sighed and looked down, “… I saw Gavin. He was in trouble. I don’t know why I saw that. Was it just my brain trying to make me angry? Or … was it…?”

“I don’t know if it was a vision. People don’t tend to have those. Especially not hunters.” But he knew who did have visions. That was a theory for another time, though. No sense in worrying her if there was nothing to worry about. “I’m sure Gavin’s fine. Now, if it’d make you feel better, I could teach you how to put together a protection satchel. All you need to do is make sure it gets into his pocket or car.”

Come to think of it, Roxy had never seen Gavin use a car. That first night, they walked back to her motel room, and the second night, she met him at his hotel. She didn’t remember him getting into or out of the car either time. There had to be a logical explanation, of course.

“I’d love to learn how to make a protection satchel,” she finally answered.

They spent the next couple of hours sprinkling together sage, rosemary, and agrimony on top of black tourmaline and lodestone. Roxy added a small fox vertebrae to the mix and Loki provided a circle of protection amulet. Roxy read a Latin phrase from a book she had and infused her energy with the other ingredients. The mixture was wrapped in a leather scrap and tied together with twine.

“You’re a natural,” Loki said, smiling. He didn’t want to tell her how rare that was, on the off chance it made her worry about the powers she had clearly been born with. The best he could do is let her think she was learning through practice. That was the least dangerous route he could take. At least, he was pretty sure of that.

He left her alone to get ready, but he stayed nearby. After all, if what she had described had been a vision, she could be walking into trouble tonight. She could handle herself, but if it was Gavin that was in trouble, he could only guess what kind of depths she would go to in order to keep him safe. The poor girl was happily, helplessly, hopelessly in love with a man she barely knew, and wouldn’t listen to reason. If he was smart, Loki would look into this character to see if he was truly on the up and up or if he was going to do Roxy more harm than good in the long run.

As he contemplated this, Roxy busied herself getting ready for her date. She put some makeup on, slipped the dress on, even bothered to coordinate her lingerie so it would match on the off chance the night worked out in her favor.

Just as she was starting to put the finishing touches on her look for the night, her phone buzzed. All she saw when she looked at it was that it was a message from Gavin, and that was all she needed to smile from ear to ear.

That smile, however, melted when she saw the contents of the message.

_Roxy- Can’t make dinner tonight. In town, but business called. Got messy. I’m sorry._

She could handle that he couldn’t make dinner, but why did business get messy? Was he in trouble?

She walked out of the room to talk to Loki, but as she left the room, she saw a series of hazy lights leading away from the motel and into the woods. She was entranced. Before she knew what she was doing, she was following the lights in a sort of trance. She dropped her phone in the gravel and completely missed the call from Charlie that was blaring through the phone speakers.

_“Rox? You’re in Elkins, West Virginia, right? If you’re not, get there. Right now. There’s a high ranking demon over there and he might be able to point you in the direction of your shifter…_

_…Roxy?_

_…are you there?_

_…Roxy?”_


	12. Walk Through the Fire

_“Roxy? Are you there?”_ Charlie was starting to get a little anxious about not hearing anything from Roxy. It wasn’t often she’d pick up the phone and not say a word. In fact, the last time she could remember that happening, Roxy had…

_“Roxy? ….. ROXY!”_

Luckily, Loki was wandering past to check on Roxy before her date. When he saw her phone on the ground, he picked it up and answered it. “Charlie?”

_“…. Loki? I didn’t know you knew how to operate a phone.”_

“There are many hurtful stereotypes about us pagan gods. What’s going on?”

_“I was hoping you could tell me. I called to tell Rox about a demon in your area, but she never said anything. Is everything okay?”_

“I mean, I found her phone on the ground just now, so I would hope so.”

A demon wasn’t the best news in the world, especially when Roxy was still learning who she was as a hunter. She walked a fine line between hunter and witch right now, and Loki was sure there was something else about her he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something familiar.

“Tell ya what, Charles. I’ll look for her. Hopefully I find her before the demon does.” He could hear Charlie about to object, but hung up on her and tucked the phone in his pocket.

Now, if only he could figure out which direction she went.

 

Lights danced like paper lanterns on a string in the wind. As Roxy approached each one, they let out a soft, delighted gasp and vanished one at a time. It encouraged her to keep following them. She moved as if she was on roller skates, but her mind was completely lucid.

She knew the lights weren’t common in America outside Louisiana, but there had to be a reason they were there. Her curiosity was getting the better of her, of course, as it usually did.

They could have been a mirage, but they weren’t in the desert. Or they could have been bursts of methane, but they weren’t in a swamp. They could have been fairies, but fairies didn’t often glow blue like these lights did.

No, they could only have been Ignus Fatuus: the will’ o’ the wisps. But what had she read about them?

They were known to cluster around the site were tragedy was about to strike. These wisps were in a line, though, so that wasn’t extremely likely in this case. Not unlikely either, but it wasn’t her first concern. They could also have been the spirits of lost souls, doomed to wander the Earth forever. It could have also been the original William, for whom the wisps were named.

She tried to figure out what they meant, and all she could figure was that they were there to lead her to change her fate. Whether it was for better or worse couldn’t be determined, but the only way to find out was to follow the wisps.

So, follow them she did.

Through the trees, the lights disappeared one by one until Roxy was sure there could be no more wisps. The wisps kept appearing, though, and stretched on through the woods. Twigs snapped, leaves rustled, crickets chirped. Only now did Roxy realize the sun had gone down. The fireflies danced and weaved between the wisps, and it only enchanted her all the more.

Her curiosity grew with every step. Maybe this was a trail to the shifter. If the wisps were there to lead her to change her fate, maybe this was the break she had been waiting for all these years.

What they did eventually lead her to, however, was an abandoned warehouse.

Alright, not quite the sparkling glen she had been expecting to find, but then again she wasn’t quite sure what she expected to find.

Inching closer to the building, she could start hearing voices.

“Alright, you’re gonna start telling us what we want to hear, or I’m gonna start removing body parts,” one voice said.

“And I’ve told you, I’m not interested in talking to you.” Oh shit, it was Gavin’s voice. “If you’re interested in educating yourself, might I suggest some online classes? I hear community colleges have very low standards in terms of admissions.”

There was a sound of a fist colliding with someone’s face, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out who had punched who.

“Cute. Really. I wonder if Clarissa over there could do any better.” Whatever was going on, Gavin seemed very confident in his ability to outsmart these two thugs.

Roxy couldn’t get to a window to see exactly what was going on, but she knew she hated it. The more she heard of the voices, the less she liked it, and the angrier she got. How dare they hit him? Didn’t they know he’d have protection? More than that, a hunter protecting him? Well, of course they wouldn’t. But they were going to find out.

She snuck around the building to find a way in, and found one in an old loading dock. She tried to lift the door, but it was jammed shut. Then, she remembered what Loki said about magic. It was all based on intent. She stood back and held her hand up, focusing all her energy into lifting the door open. After a brief moment, it rolled up as though it was never jammed.

What she saw made her blood boil.

Gavin was tied to a chair, bleeding from the lip, a black eye starting to blossom just under the skin. She couldn’t tell, but it appeared he was bleeding from his chest, too.

Her eyes flared. No sooner did it sink in that this was what Gavin called “messy” than she unconsciously set the debris around her ablaze. In fact, she was so furious, she didn’t even notice that the flames had engulfed her.

She stepped through the door, fire quickly spreading all around her. With every step, a wave of flames spread in her wake. The inferno was so intense that the warehouse was almost entirely engulfed by the time she had closed the distance between Gavin and the two men by half.

Gavin looked blearily at her but soon lost consciousness. The two men stared in horror at the fiery red head coming for them. They withdrew guns and shot at her, but Roxy felt nothing. She flicked her wrist and the two men went flying into the wall behind them.

Roxy turned her attention to Gavin, his bonds disappearing in the blink of an eye.

The men rushed her, but she managed to duck out of the way, grabbing one of them by the collar and slamming him down on the ground. There was a cracking sound, and the one on the ground stopped moving altogether.

The second man, horrified at the death of his friend, practically roared and lunged at her, swinging his knife wildly at her. Roxy, however, was too fast for him. She ducked and weaved out of the way, trying to focus on what his next move would be.

“What the hell are you?” he asked. It was the man that had done all the talking, and presumably the one who did the torturing.

This enraged Roxy further. She growled and grabbed the man’s knife hand. She didn’t even notice he had said “what” instead of “who.” In the state she was in, she didn’t notice a lot of things. All she knew was she wanted this guy to pay for what he did to Gavin.

They grappled with each other as Roxy tried to force the knife back to the man’s neck. He seemed shocked that this smaller woman had so much strength, and he was right to be shocked. Roxy herself didn’t even know what she was capable of.  

And, as it turned out, neither did Loki.

Loki followed the smoke from the fire and had found the warehouse ablaze. His first thought was that it was a pair of teenagers looking to start a career in arson, but then he detected the faint residual traces of magic. Since he was sure there were no other witches in the area, it had to be Roxy. The scope of the fire, however, was completely unexpected from someone who had only just today discovered they could light a candle without a match.

Roxy, still grappling with the thug, finally swept her leg under his ankles and shoved him to the ground. He cried out and let go of the knife, giving Roxy a chance to recover it. In a single motion, she flipped the knife in the air, caught it in her other hand, spun it in her grip, and plunged it into the man’s neck.

When she didn’t stop stabbing him, Loki ran up to her and pulled her off of him. “Rox! I think he’s dead!”

It was just enough to bring her out of the trance she was in. It sunk in that she killed two people. People, not monsters. She started shaking, until her eyes fell back on Gavin. The poor man had passed out at some point, and was just a sitting duck inhaling smoke.

Roxy looked at Loki desperately. “Can you help me move him?”

“I’ll do you one better,” he replied, grabbing a hold of her hand, then putting a hand on Gavin’s shoulder. In a flash, they were gone, leaving the warehouse to burn. They reappeared at the motel room, and Loki helped Roxy lay Gavin down on the bed.

“How did you do that?” he asked her. For a brand new witch, she showed a remarkable talent for absolute destruction. He’d taught witches before, and no one had ever managed to go from lighting a candle to causing an entire warehouse fire in one night.

“I don’t know.” That was the truth. She had no earthly idea. “All I know is I saw those guys torturing Gavin and I completely lost it.” It was beginning to sink in what she’d done, and she looked at Loki helplessly. “I just killed two people, and I don’t feel any different.”

It was beginning to be clear what Roxy had the potential to be, though Loki had a hard time believing it. “Maybe it’s because they deserved it.”

That didn’t mean a thing to Roxy. She just took it at face value and shrugged. “Maybe you’re right. They were willing to do that to another living person, and for what?” Holy shit. “…. Am I a hypocrite?”

“No. Trust me. You’re not. You’re …” He trailed off, unable to think of a single way to finish that sentence that would make her feel better. “… You’re doing your best. That’s all anyone can ask for.”

Roxy did feel a little better, hearing that. “Thanks.” She quietly went to her car to grab a spell book, but when she looked in her reflection, she finally saw what became of her hair. Her hair had burnt on one side and in the back. She swore under her breath and grabbed some scissors and her clippers before heading back inside. She walked right past Loki and to the bathroom mirror.

Twenty minutes and a sink full of hair later, Roxy emerged with an angled bob and an undercut. By this time, Gavin was starting to show signs of consciousness, though he wasn’t completely awake yet. Roxy quickly worked a spell to heal his more major wounds, and loosened his tie to help him breathe.

Loki had disappeared to … somewhere. She didn’t worry about it quite yet. She had more important matters to focus on. Sitting on the bed next to were Gavin lay, she quietly pet his hair. It was more for herself, really. She needed to calm down before he woke up, which wasn’t going to be long now.

After a few minutes, he did eventually stir. When he opened his eyes and saw Roxy, he quickly tried to sit up, but she wouldn’t let him. “Hey, don’t move too much,” she said, offering a small smile.

“What happened?” he asked, looking around the motel room.

“You cancelled our date and I got worried,” she lied. No one wanted to hear that they were only found in a dire situation because of some supernatural glowing lights. “You’re safe now. That’s what matters.”

Gavin gave her an incredulous look before apparently deciding she was right. He leaned in and kissed her gently, smirking that smirk that made her heart flutter.

She kissed him back and smiled.

Then, Gavin noticed a tattoo he hadn’t seen before. The anti-possession star, just under her hairline. For a moment, he couldn’t take his eyes off it.

And Loki couldn’t take his eyes off the smoldering ceiling of the warehouse. Why didn’t he see this before? Why didn’t Roxy see it?

But she didn’t notice it.

The charred remains of a devil’s trap loomed.


	13. Love the Way You Lie

He wasn’t like most demons. Well, when it counted, anyway. He had his flaws, but in the end? He was just trying to survive.

That’s why he was so shocked when a human came to rescue him from those two hunters. Not just any human, either. The one he’d been using to blow off some steam. More than that, she was a hunter, as evidenced by the tattoo he was staring at. He tried to tell himself that the tattoo could have just been a coincidence. Plenty of normal humans got pentacles tattooed to their body. Most of those humans were witches, which raised a whole slew of other questions. What worried him now was if this girl knew who he really was.

Crowley was faced with a choice at this juncture.

Either he could go on pretending he saw nothing – just living and hoping she didn’t know – or he could tell her and hope she didn’t leave. This second option was particularly curious. Why did he care if she left? He was the King of Hell, and she was a nobody. A hunter.

The way she lay next to him, however, told a different story.

Every hunter had a sob story for why they started hunting. The way she lay so still made him wonder what might have happened to her. He already knew that Wednesday Adams was not her real name. The Winchesters had the same annoying habit of using pop culture names as their cover. At least this girl had an amusing story to go with the name. It did make him wonder, though, who she really was.

He got up and quietly made his way to her bags. He wasn’t proud of what he was about to do, but something was keeping him where he was instead of vanishing to Hell to do his research there. In fact, the reason he hadn’t bothered to do this before completely escaped him. He was rarely this sloppy when fraternizing with humans, but the proof was in the pudding, as they say. He had slipped up and he was paying the price.

But what a price to pay. Considering how badly things had gone tonight, he still counted himself lucky that – whether or not the hunter knew who he was – she came for him. It was unfathomable to him that someone would put themselves at risk like that for _him_ of all people.

Crowley eventually found her wallet and let it fall open in his hands. Apparently she hadn’t had the time to grab her fake ID, because her real ID was still there. Roxanne Lauffer. He looked back at her, and it suddenly clicked. He knew where he’d heard that name before, but he didn’t believe it. There was no good way to tell her, so he decided to keep it to himself. There was no good way to tell her that he knew she was lying about her identity either, so he decided to keep staring at her driver’s license until she woke up and saw him.

 _How did it get this far?_ he wondered. Before he could stop himself, he had a brief flashback of himself and the Moose in that goddamn church.

_You’re my Marnie, Moose. And Hannah? She just needs to be loved. She deserves it. Don’t we all? You? Me? We deserve to be loved. I DESERVE to be LOVED!_

“…. I just want to be loved,” he muttered to himself.

The cure hadn’t been completed, and he had spent a good deal of time afterward jonesing for human blood. He thought he’d gotten over it, but looking at Roxy’s smiling picture brought something out in him he hadn’t felt since … well, since before he had become a demon. Maybe the human blood had permanently changed him. Maybe that was why he felt this desire to help a hunter. If what he suspected was true, she needed all the help she could get.

He got curious and started going through her wallet, eventually coming across a picture of Roxy and what he could only assume was her brother. They looked … happy. Must have been an old picture. There were significantly fewer tattoos on Roxy’s … everything, from the looks of it. Possibly from before she became a hunter. The smile on her face in the picture was unlike any smile he had seen before. Genuinely happy, without a care in the world. Most of the humans he dealt with had so many issues it was like watching a bad soap opera. It was easy to forget that there were some humans that were just … happy.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of his soul, he wanted to see her smile like that again. How he’d do it, he had no clue, but looking at her sleeping form somehow made him want to better himself. For her sake. If his hunch was right, she needed more happiness than she knew.

“Hello, demon,” said a voice softly behind him. He turned and looked at the figure. Remarkably, he recognized the face.

“Gabriel?”

“What?” The man, who was apparently not Gabriel, made a face and crossed his arms over his chest. “No. Ew. That bastard has been using my face for years. No, I’m Loki.”

Crowley paled slightly. Not many hunters aligned themselves with pagan gods, so the rumors in Hell must have been true. Who’d have thought he’d have run into Roxy entirely by chance? That complicated things a bit. He looked at Roxy, who was still sleeping.

“Don’t worry about her. She can’t hear us. Now, I know it’s not your usual jive to give out your real name, or whatever, but who the hel are you? And don’t give me that ‘Gavin’ shit. I know that’s not your name.”

The demon looked back and forth between the god and the hunter, finally sighing. “Crowley.”

“Very good! The demon has a sense of self-preservation!” Loki was laying on the sass, as was his custom with people he didn’t like. He certainly didn’t like that this demon had managed to trick Roxy. “What exactly do you think you’re doing with my hunter? Soul chasing?”

Well, this was an experience Crowley hadn’t had in centuries. Was a pagan god giving him the “dad” talk? “Nothing like that! The very thought ….” He straightened his blazer, only now realizing that his vessel had been healed. How did… Roxy. “I take it you’re the one teaching her magic?”

Loki giggled and wagged his finger back and forth. “Tsk tsk! This isn’t about me. This is about you. If you aren’t looking for someone to sign on your dotted line, what _are_ you doing here?”

Crowley felt this was a little condescending. He frowned and gave the god a look. “I had a date, if you must know.”

“Fascinating. Why Roxy?” Loki was tired of Crowley beating around the bush, and it was starting to show.

“Because I had a bad day and she was there,” he replied, coolly. “I kept coming back because she interested me, and apparently I interested her.” He dropped Roxy’s wallet on her purse and looked at Loki. “You should be asking her what she’s doing with a demon. You’re going to tell her, I presume, if only to see her turn on me.”

“Nah, I won’t tell,” Loki chuckled. “Not when you’re going to tell her for me.” He waggled his eyebrows at Crowley and grinned that trickster grin he was known for.

 _Bloody tricksters…_ “I hope you’ll do me the courtesy of letting me tell her when the time is right.” He didn’t trust tricksters. No one in their right mind did.

“Alright, fine, but only because I know that you know if you don’t tell her, I’ve got the rest of existence to make you wish you had.” Loki grinned a little wider and pat Crowley on the shoulder. “There’s nowhere in all the realms that you can hide where I can’t find you.” He winked and vanished.

Just in time for Roxy to wake up.

She rubbed her eyes and looked at Crowley. “I didn’t know you were up,” she said, sleepily. She yawned and looked at him, eyes falling on her discarded wallet. Her eyes went wide. “I can explain.”

“It’s okay,” he said, offering a small smile. “I understand.”

“You do?” Roxy looked a little bewildered, and more than a little scared that he’d found out her secret.

Crowley couldn’t stand to see her look at him like that, and so he decided this wasn’t the time. He just nodded and sat down next to her on the bed. “You didn’t want to tell your real name to a total stranger, then you had to stick with it when we hit it off. It’s okay.”

Roxy chuckled halfheartedly. “Is it really okay?” she asked. “I mean, our relationship started with a lie.” She looked at her hands and furrowed her brow. “One helluva lie.” She was in conflict. She didn’t know how much to tell him or how much not to tell him. She looked up, about to tell him at least a half-truth, when he leaned in and kissed her gently.

“One of these days, you’ll understand,” he said, “why I don’t think this is anything to be worried about. In my line of work, I see it all the time. Mostly from people that just want to keep the ones they care about safe.” He brushed his thumb against her cheek, corner of his mouth tilting upward slightly. “Your loved ones are lucky.”

Roxy felt tears threaten her eyes, but managed to blink them away as she nuzzled her cheek into his hand. “Honestly? I’m alone. Aside from a couple of friends, you’re all I’ve got. If you wouldn’t mind being counted as one of my loved ones, that is.”

He smiled and kissed her again. “I would be honored.”

And just like that, Crowley knew what it was like to be loved. It was a feeling he was entirely unfamiliar with, even from his time before he was a demon. This little human he held in his arms was just trying to survive, like he was. As much as he hated the Winchesters, he could hardly begrudge her for that.

And in the same instant, Roxy felt … safe. It wasn’t a familiar feeling to her in as much as she couldn’t remember the last time she felt she could completely relax. Yet, here she was, melting into the arms of a man she really didn’t _know_.

“Gavin?”

“Hm?”

“I think I meant it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think I love you.”

Crowley was caught off guard. It was one thing to be considered a loved one, but to be … loved? There was no other feeling quite like it. As a matter of fact …

“I think I love you too.”

If she thought she was already melted, she didn’t know what that made her now. She was putty in his hands. She draped her arms around him and kissed him passionately.  


	14. Luck Be A Lady

Several days had passed since Loki had threatened Crowley, and the demon still hadn’t come clean. It was hard for Crowley to tell the truth. It simply wasn’t in his nature anymore. Then again, that failed cure could have had more of an effect than he had thought. Regardless, he had found out what she was hunting for. A shifter, but not just any shifter. On that had a contract with Hell. He didn’t know who was responsible for hiring that cretin, but he wasn’t going to tell Roxy until he had a more solid lead for her.

Loki kept his promise, of course. He had seen how happy the demon made her, and he wanted her happy more than he wanted him dead or worse. Of course, this meant lying to her. For a god famed for his ability to lie, he felt no small amount of trepidation in keeping this secret. Then again, as a master of deception, it was easy for him to keep secrets. Especially when the exposure of said secret could do more harm than good. He was a great many things, but he was not a monster. Well, when it was necessary, anyway. Sometimes the fun was too tempting to pass up.

In the past several days – in which Roxy was still reeling from the mutual confession of love she and “Gavin” had shared – she had spent a lot of time just driving. Not to anywhere in particular, and she was loathe to admit it, but she kept hoping she’d see the wisps again. She couldn’t shake the feeling that the longer she went without seeing those lights, the further away she was getting from her goal.

In a way, she was right. But, as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for.

Roxy was driving toward Santa Fe when she got the call. Charlie had told her about some strange occurrences in Albuquerque. There was an epidemic of patients in need of organ transplants suddenly getting the organs the needed – at the cost of someone biting the big one, to put it delicately.

“Do you think it’s a crossroads demon?” Roxy asked, trying to go through the possibilities in her head.

“Nah. Too many of the same wish coming true for it to be a demon,” Charlie replied. “Interestingly, demon activity has been down, which is totally a trap if you ask me. I don’t trust that for a second.”

“I know what you mean.” Roxy couldn’t shake the feeling that this had something to do with her hunt for the shifter. “So if it’s not a demon, what could it be?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” There was the sound of rustling papers as Charlie flipped through her book. “Honestly, I’m stumped. It could be a reaper, but then why save lives too? It doesn’t follow the same patterns as a witch, either. In fact, besides the theme of people getting healthy and other people getting dead, I can’t find a pattern at all. The patients have no relation to each other, and the victims are totally random.”

“Perfect! Just what I want to hear.” Roxy frowned and thought for a moment. “Alright, I’ll head to Albuquerque to try to figure out the riddle of what’s bad and good and has no pattern.” They exchanged goodbyes and hung up, leaving her to reroute to Albuquerque.

“You know,” Loki said, appearing in the back seat without warning. Roxy swerved in shock, though she should have probably been used to it by now. “Now that you’re a witch, you could try learning teleportation. Then you wouldn’t have to drive everywhere. It takes so LONG.”

“Where would I keep my arsenal?” she asked, trying to refocus on the road.

“You could make it a literal ‘arse’nal!”

“Gross.” Not the single grossest thing he’d ever said, but close.

“Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer,” he teased. This time, he appeared in the passenger seat. “Really, though. I could teach you materialization. Loki had an ulterior motive for wanting to teach her how to materialize objects. Normal witches couldn’t do it. In fact, there was only one type of magic user he could think of that could. Roxy was far from normal. Maybe he’d learn something new and interesting about her.

“You sure you want to teach me all of your tricks?” She wasn’t suspicious in the least. As a matter of fact, she thought he was joking. “Tell you what. The day I teleport is the day I let you teach me materialization.”

“Ha! Deal!” Loki kicked his feet up onto the dashboard and leaned the seat back.

The rest of the way to Albuquerque was generally quiet, with Loki-karaoke sessions breaking the silence every time there was a decent song on the radio. Roxy allowed it, on the condition that he make an attempt not to appear out of nowhere without some kind of warning. He, of course, had no intention of keeping said promise.

They didn’t spend long at the motel when they got there. Just long enough for Roxy to slip into some more professional clothes so she could check out the hospitals. Of course, in a big city like this, there were plenty of hospitals to check out. When we think of a city, we tend to reduce it to a simplified stereotype. New York is skyscrapers, pizza, and rudeness; Rome is Colosseum and 10 billion scooters; and San Francisco is a goddamned Michael Bay movie waiting to happen.

Albuquerque was no different.

Being in New Mexico, it was plagued with skinwalkers. Closely related to the shifter, skinwalkers are humanoid creatures with the ability to transform into any different kind of animal at will. Some can even steal the faces of different people, able to appear as anyone. Legend says, if you accidentally lock eyes with a skinwalker, they can absorb themselves into your body and take control of your actions. The Rake, commonly found in the northwest, is said to be akin to the skinwalker.

And if all of that wasn’t enough to make New Mexico a terrifying place to visit for the average human or inexperienced hunter, it’s hard to tell what is.

Roxy had some small amount of doubt about being in a city made famous by these creatures, in addition to Breaking Bad, but at least she had the experience to deal with almost anything this crazy city could throw at her.

The hospital she visited first seemed to be clean. No recent organ transplants, but after Roxy gave them a story about being from the CDC, they were happy to point her in the direction of a hospital a few miles away. When she reached her second destination she introduced herself as Jenna Marbles, gave them the same story about being from the CDC and asked if there had been any recent heart transplants in the last three weeks.

As luck would have it, there had been only one heart transplant patient in that time at this hospital. One of the nurses led her to him and left Roxy to ask her questions.

“Have you seen anything … odd recently?”

“Besides someone from the CDC asking stupid questions like that?” The patient was 27 year old Martin Whaley, and he didn’t particularly want to talk to anyone, let alone someone in a suit. He rolled his eyes and sighed. “What do you mean by odd?”

Not exactly prepared to deal with attitude, Roxy lowered her notepad and looked at him. “Anything out of the ordinary, like … shady figures trying to make deals or something?”

“What the hell are you telling me? Some black market dealer provided my heart?”

Well, that was a good cover that she hadn’t thought of. “We’re looking into it,” she said, trying to act as though she wasn’t supposed to say one way or the other. “I just need to know if anyone you didn’t know tried to come in here and talk to you.”

Martin frowned and rubbed his hands over his face. “There was one lady,” he said. “But she didn’t want to make a deal. Just wanted to know what I needed. I told her I needed a heart, she said ‘okay, tin man,’ and left. Next thing I knew, I was matched with a heart.”

“Well, that’s lucky,” she said with a smile, at the very least trying to make him feel better. “The good news is, we won’t have to look for another heart. I just need to investigate a little further. Now, do you remember what this lady looked like?”

Martin shrugged. “Long red hair, kind of a vintage vibe … you know, with the Bettie Page bangs or whatever. She had a beauty mark under her right eye, and wore a lot of green. Said her name was Lucy or something like that.”

Roxy made plenty of notes and thanked him for his time before asking around the nurse’s station about a woman matching that description. They started talking about a woman that spread chaos in her wake. She was nice enough, but all around her there were strange things that would happen. At first, Roxy thought it might be a witch trying to do some good but failing to realize it was backfiring spectacularly.

“Look, I don’t know what you’re looking for, but steer clear from her,” one of the nurses warned. “Something’s weird about her. The patients are afraid of her.”

“I appreciate the concern, but I deal with this kind of thing all the time.”

“…. With the CDC?”

“…… Yes.” Roxy smiled and leaned against the counter. “Don’t worry. Sooner or later I’ll find this woman and I’ll check her out. It’ll be sooner rather than later, with any luck.”

Then, as if on cue, a woman matching Martin’s description sauntered down the hallway. She was either completely oblivious that chaos erupted around her, or she didn’t care. It was _really_ hard not to notice the people around her falling over themselves, falling off of ladders, and getting their toes stepped on. There were other such catastrophes, such as heart monitors malfunctioning or ventilators skipping beats, causing all the nurses to scramble and try to figure out what was going on. Some of the more superstitious staff members thought the lady was a walking curse. Roxy had never seen anything like it.

She stood in the woman’s path and flashed her badge at her. “Hey, can I talk to you a second, Miss…?”

“Lucky,” the woman said. Lucky regarded the hunter and smirked. “You’re Roxanne Lauffer, aren’t you?” She chuckled and stopped Roxy before she had a chance to deny it. “Oh, you’re famous where I’m from. Luckily,” she chuckled at her own pun, “I’ve been looking for you! I knew I’d get your attention!”

Roxy tried to quiet her down, but no one seemed to be paying any attention to them. When that sank in, she was more confused than ever. Witches could do a lot of things, but they couldn’t control who was paying attention to them or not. She thought quickly, trying to figure out what Lucky was, when she made an odd connection in her head. “You aren’t related to Loki, are you Lucky?”

Lucky laughed heartily and hooked her arm around Roxy’s. “No, silly billy! I’m not a trickster! I’m …. Well, I’m more of a concept than a person.” She led Roxy down the hall as she talked, including her in her apparent bubble of good karma. “I’ll give you a hint. Marlon Brando sang a song about me.”

Roxy just gave her a look. “Marlon Brando wasn’t a singer.”

“Boy, you’re right. And yet…” Lucky grinned and waggled her eyebrows.

Roxy didn’t know what she was trying to imply, at first. Then a brain wave surged through her mind and she realized. “Luck Be a Lady?”

“Ding ding ding! We have a winner!” Luck was one of those high energy, overly happy types, and Roxy never knew how to deal with them. “Ohhhh!!! The boss is gonna be so happy to meet you!”

“Wait, are you telling me this was an elaborate trap to get me here?” Roxy tried to push Luck off of her, but to no avail. Roxy was strong but Luck was stronger.

“Gracious, no…! …. Well, yes. Yes it was, but nothing terribly sinister!”

“The personification of luck-“

“Not a person.”

“-killed how many people-“

“Probably 20.”

“-to get me here. Why?” Roxy was completely oblivious to the fact that they were now leaving the hospital, and it seemed that’s what Luck was hoping for.

Lucky grinned an impish grin and booped Roxy’s nose. “Because you followed the wisps!”

“What do the wisps have to do with luck?”

“They don’t, but I’ll give you three guesses what they DO have to do with!”

Roxy stared at Luck, trying to put the pieces together. Before she could answer, however, they appeared to have reached their destination. A dive bar called “Temptation.” Luck spurted a short giggle and led Roxy into the bar.

It was remarkably fancy on the inside, for someplace kind of skeevy on the outside. Blue mood lighting, blue velvet booths, dark wood accents. It was remarkably classy. There was a woman singing the blues on the stage, amidst a series of instruments that were playing themselves.

In one of the booths near the back, there was a shadowy figure smoking a cigarette. Luck walked over to it and whispered to it. The figure looked at Roxy and flashed a grin, one golden tooth glinting in the low light.

“Roxanne Lauffer!” His voice was gravelly, but somehow still welcoming. “Come and take a seat. I don’t bite.”

“Yeah, unless you ask.” Luck smirked and sat next to the man, leaning on him.

Roxy frowned and walked over, sitting across from the man in the booth. “Okay, so you know who I am. Why have Luck here kill people to get me here?”

The man looked at Fate. “You didn’t.”

“Oh, come on, daddy! She’s a hunter! It’s the best way to get her attention!”

He chuckled and tussled Luck’s hair. “You have to forgive her. She’s still learning. She doesn’t quite get what we do here.”

“And what DO you do here?” Roxy was less interested in what they did than she was in who he was. “I don’t like people knowing my name without telling me theirs.”

“I don’t have a name. I think Luck here explained we’re more of a concept. I’ve got brothers and sisters, each with their own protégé. I’m Fate.” Fate reached a hand across the table to shake Roxy’s hand, smile never fading even when she didn’t take his hand. “I thought you’d be more curious after you saw the wisps.”

“I have to admit, I’m curious, but I wasn’t going to ask why they appeared,” she answered. “… Just … maybe ask why they led to … where they led.”

Fate just smiled that gold-toothed smile and leaned back again, draping an arm over Luck’s shoulders. “I can’t tell you _that,_ Rox,” he chuckled. “What I _can_ tell you is you’ll see them again. Before you know it. I want you to trust that they won’t lead you astray.”

“Why should I trust you?” she asked, less as a comment on him as a person (or whatever he happened to be) and more as a general statement that she distrusted 99% of everyone.

“You shouldn’t,” he said, which surprised her. “All I’m saying is to trust the wisps. They know what they’re doing.”

Roxy got up and headed for the door, but stopped long enough to look back at Fate. “Can you at least tell me if my mom is still alive?”

Luck looked at Fate, and they exchanged silent glances before she got up to follow Roxy.

Fate just smiled. “You’ll find out soon. Take care of her, Lucky.”

Roxy wasn’t even going to argue with the new friend she was bringing with her. She was too tired. As soon as she got back to the motel, she saw the wisps again, leading down the nearby road. As desperately as she wanted to ignore them, she found it impossible to forget what Fate said. “Trust the wisps,” she said to herself.

Fine. If that was how the game was going to be played, she was going to play. She packed her stuff and tossed it all into the back of her car.

“Where do they lead?” she asked Luck, hoping some of her residual good karma might mean she was going somewhere nice.

“Would you like a hint?” Luck replied coyly.

Roxy shook her head. “I think I know where they’re going.”

With that, she drove into the night.

She was going home.


	15. All These Things That I've Done

It was surreal, rolling into town. Five years ago, almost to the day, she was running away as fast as she could. But here she was, willingly coming back. It was remarkable enough, considering how many times her trips here resulted with her leaving soon after.

Her old friend, Dave, greeted her at Cheezus Crust with a hug and a smile, and it made Roxy feel more at home. He explained that for a couple of years, he tried to keep tabs on her, doing what he could to help her find her mom. He sat them down, and the way the employees there acted, it was like he never left. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he stayed there, for whatever reason. Thinking about it, she didn’t put it past him. For as many years as she had known him, he had always worked here, always tinkering with the games and animatronics. If there was one constant in her life, she was sure it would be the knowledge that Dave would always be working here and that he was content with that.

“You look happier,” he said with a smile. “I’m glad! Mind if I ask what happened?”

“Remember I mentioned Gavin?” As she followed the wisps home, she had tried to catch him up with everything, including her dates with Gavin. After he nodded, she continued, “He was still interested in seeing me. It was kind of nice just to sit back and have a conversation that didn’t involve demons or death or monsters of any kind.” She failed to tell her friend that she’d set a warehouse on fire to save him from presumably the mafia or some equally shady organization, but they never shared _everything_ together anyway.

“I’m impressed,” was all he could manage to say on the subject. He led her to a table and pulled out his notes and a small file of pictures. “So, here’s the sitch. A few days ago, there were some freak electrical storms, so I went to your place to investigate a bit. There was a really strong smell of sulfur everywhere. So, I think the demon you ran into came back.”

“But why?” she asked, thumbing through Dave’s file. There were pictures of yellow powder she recognized as sulfur, scattered across her old bedroom. It gave her chills, and she hated it. Why was the demon coming back here? It didn’t sit right with her.

“No idea. Probably to mess with you. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Roxy sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. There was something about all of this that made her angry. She could feel herself getting hotter, and she had to make an effort to make her body heat simmer back down. Though, with the way Dave was looking at her, she knew he could probably tell something was up. “Alright, so what’s the plan?”

He could logically come to the conclusion that she was not really human. He’d had the notion in the back of his head for a couple of years, but there was so much more to worry about, he never brought it up. Now was especially not the time to mention it. He took a deep breath and looked at the files again. “It always seems to skulk around about the time the sun sets. So, we wait and try to catch it by surprise.”

“Alright, sounds good.” She bounced her leg restlessly. It really made her uncomfortable. She needed something familiar. “Until then, I’m going to get a cup of coffee. I’ll be at Brewed Awakening, if you need me.”

Without waiting for an answer, she got up and walked down the street. There was just enough of a chill in the air, she stopped at her car and picked up her scarf. The scarf that had been gifted to her by a man she was sure was dead by now. She hugged it close to her chest and hooked it around her neck as she continued her trek to the coffee shop she remembered so well.

It was uneventful, so far. She ordered the same old latte and mused that no one remembered her. It was probably for the best. After all, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be remembered after all these years. Not the way she was the last time these people saw her, anyway.

And then, for no particular reason, Roxy's life changed. Again.

Someone had waltzed into her life that she had never expected to see again.

Fifteen years of radio silence, and here he was.

"Jer?"

Her old high school crush and best friend. The odds of running into him, of all people - here, of all places - now, of all times - seemed astronomical. And yet ... here he was. Now that h was here, there was no way she was going to question her change in luck. Even if she had never been given any reason to trust a good thing happening.

The man she thought she knew, however, appeared not to have heard her. _There it is,_ she thought. _It's not really him._

But that jacket was unmistakable. She had given it to him as a graduation present. Everything about it was known to her. The coffee stain on the right chest pocket, the patch she'd earned as a girl scout for being friendly (that, of course, she immediately gave to Jer so he wouldn't forget to smile), and even the scrap of fabric that had been ripped from her blue skirt in freshman year. He told her it was to remind her about the first day of school, but there was no reason for him to hold onto it for this long, was there?

In fact, the longer she looked at him, the less likely it felt that it was really her Jericho. /Her/ Jericho was small, sleight, and in constant danger of being blown away with the wind. This man was so ... not small.

Not particularly tall, but broad. Broad hands, broad smile, broad shoulders that carried the weight of the world. Even if this wasn't the man Roxy pined so dearly for, it broke her heart to see someone carry all of that pain with such a bright smile.

But it was the eyes. Those eyes that could not belong to anyone else. Those eyes that brought our heroine to a warm, safe place. If she didn't know better, she would swear she could see Heaven in his eyes.

There was no mistake now. That was Jericho.

But she couldn't dare approach him. Not now. Not like this. Not when she was no longer the happy child he knew so long ago.

With a heavy heart, and no nerve to speak to him, she quietly excused herself. As she walked further away from the shop, she could feel a pain in her chest. Like the missing piece from the puzzle was close enough to touch, but she was afraid what might happen if it fell into place. She was a coward and she knew it. A coward, at least, when it counted. She could fight vampires and hellhounds, but damn if she could work up the courage to talk to the man she once dreamed about. The man she still dreamed about, from time to time, when the nightmares were kept at bay.

After Roxy had backed slowly out of what could have potentially ben described as the most awkward reunion of her life, she walked reluctantly back to her childhood home. It was unpleasant, to say the least, when some of the worst years of her life happened under that roof. I say “some” because to say otherwise might have suggested her life had gotten better. In some respects, it had. In most respects, she wanted to curl up and fade away.

When she saw Dave again, he had the most sheepish look on his face. He knew Jer was back in town, and he knew Roxy wouldn’t have the nerve to talk to him. She didn’t have the nerve to tell him how she felt before she ran away with her tail between her legs. Why should she have the nerve to talk to him now? Especially after everything that had happened. But he knew something she didn’t, and now wasn’t the time to talk.

A single look silenced him before he realized he was about to say something.

And so they sat in silence. It grew unbearable and Roxy grew restless. She felt her stomach lurch her as her body moved on its own accord around to the different rooms.

It was heartbreaking. For as many terrible memories she had, there were bright times. Happy times. The house was dark and dusty, with clear signs of neglect. Floor boards creaked with rot, and walls were swollen with water damage. And yet, there was still an instinctive nostalgia for every step she took down the hall.

Her fingers ran against a door frame with faded pencil, marking her height up to age 6, her brother’s up to age 3. Her father used to take such excitement in showing them how much they had grown. Right up until “it” happened.

Her eyes fell onto the wall leading upstairs to the bedroom, and she could almost see the worn remains of every doodle she and her brother had scrawled onto the wallpaper. There was a ghost of a smile that flew across her lips, even as she shuffled her way down the dreaded hallway.

She poked her head into her brother’s old room and her heart jumped into her throat. It was a mess. It looked like a tornado came through. Knowing Jace, she could only guess that he came back and lost his temper, trashing his own room. A lamp lay broken on the floor, and the mattress was upside down on the wrong side of the room. With a heavy heart, she turned and headed to her own room.

The door was closed, exactly as she had left it. A quick turn of the handle, and it jarred to a halt. It had been closed for so long, she could only assume it had rusted shut. At least that had meant that whatever was skulking around the house wasn’t intruding into her room.

With a deep breath and a slow exhale, she concentrated a small bit of magic to opening the door without causing damage. Slowly, it swung open, and Roxy stared in disbelief.

Everything was _exactly_ as she had left it. There was a thick coat of dust, but not a single thing had moved. The covers on her bed were still slightly unmade. Drawers were hanging open, as they were when she made a mad dash to pack up her belongings. Even her closet door was left slightly ajar.

Walking around the familiar room, she almost didn’t notice the most important detail.

Sitting in a small rocking chair next to the closet sat the most important belonging she hated herself for leaving behind. Worn from the years, it was still immediately recognizable. Foxy, her old stuffed fox.

Memories flooded back as she gingerly picked up the now threadbare plush. There was a distinctive line in the fur where the color had faded from sunlight to which section had been protected by shadow. With a thumb, she dusted off the toy’s golden eyes and managed a soft smile.

With the sorry looking fox in her grasp, she looked around the room again. All at once, she was a child once more. She could remember the day her father gifted this toy to her. It was one of his rare good days, and one of her many bad days.

She was crying. Now, she couldn’t remember why, but she knew she had been scared and lonely and, above all, sad. There was a soft knock on her door, and her father poked his head in to check on her. Afraid of what might happen, she wiped her face clean and sat up, but there was no anger on his face. Only a paternal softness and the faintest hint of a smile. He held something behind his back as he cautiously stepped toward her.

“What’s wrong?” he had asked in a tone that had become unfortunately unfamiliar to her.

“I don’t know.” She truly didn’t. It was one of the earliest signs of depression, and there was nothing any of them could do about it. She had cringed, waiting for her father to yell at her, but there was no yelling. Instead, he placed a gentle hand on her back, a hurt look flashing in his eyes when she recoiled.

But there was no danger. Not this time. As soon as she had realized that, she curled into her father’s arms and wept. She didn’t know why she was sad, and yet she was. It was one of the last times she felt her father’s warm embrace. He kissed the top of her head and lifted her chin. His cold eyes were warm that night.

“We missed you at dinner.” There was a pause, and Roxy was scared he would berate her for locking herself away in her room. Instead, he held up one of the two things he snuck by her attention. A small plate with tiny portions of that night’s dinner. “Everyone has days like this, Rox. You’re gonna be fine.”

Roxy wiped the tears from her eyes and, when she reopened them, saw her second surprise. A fox doll. Bright red with happy yellow eyes, smiling at her. She managed to smile back and took it into her trembling hands. She hugged it, nearly jumping out of her skin when a recorded version of her father’s voice spoke the words, “I love you, Roxy.”

Now, remembering the events of that night, Roxy gently squeezed the fox plush. A weak, crackling recording of her father’s voice croaked out the words, “I … ve y … oxy.”

Tears brimmed in her eyes as she fell to her knees, clinging to the worn out toy. She tried to blink the water away, but caught sight of a small box with her name on it. She didn’t remember it, and it had considerably less dust than everything else.

The fox doll still in her arm, she gingerly picked up the box and examined it.

That was it. The memories faded, and she was jerked back to the harsh reality. There was no more warmth. She would never know a father’s warmth again. Now, she was alone, waiting for someone to kill her. Everything faded, and she was left alone with her thoughts again.

In the now abandoned house, the only sound that could be heard was the occasional creak as the house settled.

What Dave heard as normal noises, Roxy heard as a sign of a coming storm. She remembered similar creaks of the floor board in the dark of night shortly before her door opened, before the yelling, before the barrage of fists, before-

Dave placed a hand on her shoulder and only then did she notice she was completely frozen. The color was gone from her face. This was precisely why she couldn’t be in this house, and she knew leaving now would be worse than admitting defeat.

But then she realized that Dave wasn’t looking at her. He was looking _past_ her. He saw something she didn’t. Her eyes flicked to the window behind Dave, and in the reflection she saw movement. More than that, she caught a glimpse of what looked like a lion’s snout.

Her lip twitched into a snarl as her hand flew to her gun, whirling around and shooting three shots. Memories be damned. Nothing good ever came from living in the past. The only thing that mattered was the present.

She was in her home, waiting for the demon to come mock her. She needed to rescue her mother. As she reminded herself of where she was, she fired three more shots. Nothing hit. With a savage growl, she burst into a sprint and chased the figure out of the house. It had to be the demon. It had to be. It couldn’t be anything else.

They ran through the town, and a passing thought occurred to Roxy. If it was the demon, why would it be running? Wouldn’t it be stopping to toy with her? This didn’t seem right at all. Somehow, it only made her angrier to imagine that being the case.

For the briefest moment, she got close to it. Close enough to see it _change_. It looked at her with her own face before it disappeared around a corner. Roxy’s anger flared dangerously and the air sparked around her like an ember. The damn thing was a shapeshifter. A fucking scapegoat. This was another trick. This was almost an insult. Who knew what that thing had done while wearing her face? It took what little dignity it might have otherwise left her and dragged it through the blazing Mexican desert like a rancid coyote lure. She took it as a personal sleight and decided to rip her vengeance straight out of the imposter’s skull.

She trailed it to a gas station and ducked down behind one of the shelving units. It hadn’t seen her quite yet, and she knew she could get the drop on it. She inched toward the edge of the aisle and peeked around her cover to see the shifter. As she pulled her gun out, so did the shifter. What she hadn’t been banking on, though, was her target winking at her and aiming at a civilian. 

She fired her gun at the ceiling, trying to get the bystander’s attention before he got hurt. That done, she fired twice at the shifter, pulling the man behind one of the metal shelving units. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to trust me that I’m one of the good guys,” she said, peeking around the corner to see where the shifter had gone. 

It hadn’t gone far, but it was starting to shoot back. As she flinched back, she dared to look at the man and froze. No. This couldn’t be happening.

All Jericho wanted was food and a nice cold beer. That was it. What turned into a mission for relaxation ended in being taken back to the past. The part of the past he wished would leave him be.

For those of you who have never had a panic attack here’s a really easy way to understand it. Imagine waking up on your average morning. You’re thinking about your day, maybe a bit stressed, maybe a bit sleepy but it’s a normal morning. You open your bathroom to go brush your teeth, and there is a fucking tiger sitting there. Like, an actual 500lb, big, pointy teeth tiger.

For those of you who have never had PTSD, add another 14 tigers and imagine you’re dressed as a Thanksgiving turkey.

This was the kind of panic surging through Jericho.

One shot rang out, then another. Before he knew it, he was staring down the barrel of a hand gun. That was all he could see, and it was clear in his eyes. At the moment his mind only processed that it was the Middle East and he was the enemy’s next target. Which, unfortunately, wasn’t too far away from reality.

Roxy tried desperately to get him to take a breath and come back to reality. She knew all too well what it was like to be that scared, and she couldn’t leave him like this. Even as bullets whizzed past her, her focus was entirely on Jer. Her focus was broken just long enough to fire off a couple of bullets at the shifter, retreating back into cover as she heard him singing.

“…..I had a good friend in New York City….didn’t call me by my name just hillbilly…..”

The song echoed throughout the gas station as Jericho did the only thing he knew to do. Sing. Good and loud too. His hands cupped over his ears, eyes clenched tightly. The voice speaking to him did nothing to ease his fears. For all he knew that could be a trap. There were no good guys in his mind. Only him.

Seeing him like this was killing Roxy. It physically pained her, and she knew there was very little she could do to help him. The gunshots were clearly not helping, so she tucked her gun away and poked her head out to melt the shifter’s firing mechanism so it couldn’t shoot.

Backing away from her, Jer’s body shook from fear and the haunting realization that he didn’t have any way to defend himself. Backing up farther, his back hit the cool stone of the wall before he sunk to the floor, shaking more.

Roxy turned to try to comfort her old friend, but saw him backing away quickly. She was hoping he’d be just another innocent, but seeing him flashback like that was absolutely heartbreaking. Devastating, actually. He used to be so happy. What the hell could have happened?

She grabbed her mirror from her pocket and used it to peek around the corner. She saw the shifter nearing the civilian and made a quick move of shooting it in the leg, wincing when she realized it would only make Jer worse. From the corner of her eye, she could see him flinch. The poor man was close to tears.

Her questions for it would have to go unanswered. This situation was more complicated than it needed to be. She walked over to the crippled shifter and put a bullet between its eyes.

When she returned to the bystander, she put her gun away and tried to show him her empty hands. “Hey, hey, hey. Take a breath. Are you okay?" 

Jericho’s singing went from loud to even louder. Her empty hands still didn’t mean much. It would if he was in his right mind but that was the thing, he wasn’t. The recent shots rang in his Jer’s like bombs being dropped. Or rather mine fields going off.

The shot she took to injure and then kill the one she was hunting caused him to just get worse.

Still shaking, he curled into himself before muttering, “If you’re going to do it……do it already…..”

To him, she was stalling, toying with him almost. Only problem was, he didn’t take well to that sort of thing.

He was useless. A sniper without his rifle and this woman held his life in her hands.

Being a hunter, she learned to think quickly. He had been singing, and it had seemed to calm him down a little. She pulled out her phone and played a bit of mellow music. 

Against her every instinct to get worked up, she wanted to make it clear that she wasn’t the bad guy. Glancing at the now lifeless body, she almost felt the need to convince herself of the fact as well.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” she said, her voice soft and even. “Jer, it’s me…” The odds of him recognizing her were so slim, she wasn’t sure he’d believe her. But she had to try. He was so important to her, she _needed_ him to know her. She wanted so badly to reach out and lift his chin, but he recoiled from every little motion.

After what felt like an age, Jericho’s mind started dragging him back to the present as he heard the soft tunes of music. He let it drown out the sounds of gun shots and after a few minutes, he finally noticed a woman before him. A familiar face he desperately needed to see. A face he never thought he’d see again.

As the words slowly processed, he managed to get his voice back. “R-Roxy?” A smile grew across his face and tears stung at his eyes. He pulled her close and brought her into a tight hug.

She had changed drastically since they graduated. So much so, he hardly recognized her. He had remembered her as the sleight, awkward girl that always made him smile. His best friend since kindergarten. The other girls made such fun of her all through school, but he always thought she was beautiful.

And now, she wasn’t small anymore. Quite the contrary, as a matter of fact. She had grown muscles. Her hands were calloused. As he slowly began to process everything that had happened, he realized she had killed someone. A normal person might have been worried, but he recognized it. He knew the look in her eye all too well. She was in pain. As much pain as he was in, despite the smiles on their faces.

Since their last meeting, experiences might not have been so different.

Realizing she was more than likely still worried about him, he smiled weakly. “I’ll be alright……just a bit spooked is all.” When he pulled away from the hug, the smile grew. “What song was that? I don’t think I’ve heard it.”

Roxy offered a smile and showed him her phone so he could see what music she was playing. “It’s called Requiem, by Ben Konstantinovic. I listen to it whenever I need to smile.”

He took the phone and looked at it before smiling, handing it back. “I can see why and it helped me. Which sometimes doesn’t happen easily.”

She cautiously put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m usually more careful than that,” she said. “That shifter had killed five people trying to throw me off track. I didn’t want you to be the sixth. I’m so sorry you got caught up in all that.”

 “You obviously don’t know how my luck works. I’m always at the wrong place at the wrong time. I knew I should have listened to that nagging voice that said to stay home today.” He chuckled softly before looking at her. He was seriously in awe that she was right there. But it slowly began to sink in. Did she say _shifter_? What did that even mean?”

“But seriously, don’t blame yourself. I’m fine……just a bit….how should I say it….jumpy, is all. I’m glad you could stop her.” He chuckled weakly and furrowed his brow. “Umm … What’s a shifter?”

She got to her feet and too Jericho’s hands. As she pulled him to his feet, she glanced at the coolers. "Let me buy you a drink, alright? Allow me to redeem myself for my insensitive transgressions. I know a thing or two about bad luck. I don’t want someone else’s evening to be ruined just because I have shitty timing.” Clearly, she was dodging the subject, but she fully intended to tell him. Just … maybe not here with a dead body slowly bleeding out on the tile floor of a gas station.

He was trying to smile as if nothing happened but his hands were still shaking, as were his legs. Shootings were still highly sensitive things for him to see and even after the years of being out of the Middle East, it still affected him. He got to his feet with a little help and nodded. “Sure.  Just…..sure.” His voice, just when he thought the shaking was from it, it came back. "My luck always seems bad.  Horrible actually. As for my evening being ruined, it’s looking better than it did.  You’re here, got me out of my mood, and I’m still able to talk, so it’s already looking up.”

Roxy opened one of the coolers and grabbed a couple of SoBe juice bottles. She glanced up and saw that the clerk for the gas station had long since run away. Not that she blamed them. She shrugged and shoved them into a bag, grabbing another couple of bottles of soda, a few handfuls of candy bars, beef jerky, a couple packs of cigarettes, and a pair of sunglasses. Why not? It wasn’t like she wouldn’t use them at some point.

She set a handful of money on the counter and returned to Jericho’s side. He seemed stable enough, but she didn’t want to assume things. She gingerly took his arm in hers and helped guide him out of the building. 

“How about we go back to my motel room? Just until you’ve calmed down a bit?” She offered a smile, hoping she wasn’t overstepping any bounds. After all, there was a lot that had happened since they last met. She had never been sure if her feelings had been reciprocated, and she wasn’t sure she was at a point in her life that she could handle that kind of rejection.

But the feelings had been more than reciprocated. There were many emotions he felt all at once. Relief that he’d found what could have possibly been the only friend he had left was among them. Unfortunately, it was coupled with the crippling fear that she’d leave again if she knew what he had been through.

More than anything, the hope that they finally had someone they could lean on was shared between them. It had been a long time coming, but it was welcome.


End file.
